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  • #19751
    Tink33
    Participant

    Hi Dr. Kelly,

    If my first HSV2 outbreak was on the labia minora will my outbreaks always be there? Or will I have outbreaks in other places as well? I’m just not sure how that works. Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks!

    #19528
    klynn
    Participant

    I recently had a really bad case of strep throat which lowered my immune system and subsequently triggered my double outbreak. At first it was a few sores randomly inside my mouth and then after about a day I felt something coming up on my lip. Around the same time I knicked a bump while shaving and chalked it up to just an ingrown hair until tonight when I checked on it and realized it had become much larger and recognized the formation right away.
    I recently just started dating someone, who I literally think is my sole mate, and I’m not one who normally believes in those things. I already talked to him about the oral herpes and he was so sweet and understanding, but I am still very afraid of telling him that I now believe I also have genital herpes (which I’m going to go and confirm on Monday). Any suggestions on how I might handle this?

    #19532
    Mew
    Participant

    I have been diagnosed for over 3 years, when I had just turned 15, now I am about 19. The hardest part for me was being so young. I was so vulnerable. At that age herpes is especially not okay to talk about, be known about, no one believes it exists or could ever happen to them, and no one excepts others for having it basically, herpes was the unspeakable devil that came in to ruin my life.. However, I noticed the older one gets the more they understand that herpes is a part of a sexual beings life. Herpes is common. And most of all herpes is manageable..
    As a young 15 year old girl, I was too scared to tell a soul. It was hard enough to even admit it to myself, I thought I was the most disgusting human on the face of the planet. I at first thought I had a yeast infection.. and it was horrible! The worst outbreak I EVER got! I missed the first 4 days of school (my sophmore year in high school) and all I could do was take baths, wear boxers and cry. I had went get tested and they called me and said that I had HSV2.. I told my mom, who told Kelly… and eventually I told one of my girl friends.. I went through many fazes of being able to speak of not being able to speak about it at all with others. It was like a rock was in my throat, preventing me from saying the word. It literally wouldn’t even come out and when I even tired I just started to cry. Because I wasn’t able to have “the talk” at that time in my life, I ruined many relationships because of trust issues.. because I lied I wasn’t trustworthy and I didn’t find them trustworthy. Also because I was so young and to some one under the age of 18 it is generally seen as so bad it’s almost like they’d rather be dead! I was also told by the guy who gave me herpes that, “it couldn’t be herpes because only really trashy people get that.” He told me a year later that he had lied and he had it long before he had transmitted it to me.. I was so hurt that I was lied to and that such horrible things were happening to me at such a young age. Because of his awful way of describing the infection to me I had awful feelings about my self. Self love was hardly even a question.. it was a very distant false reality for me. I made rules like “don’t have sex with anyone at your high school” and “do’t have sex with anyone under 18”, because I was so scared of what could happen if the rumors got out.. I literally thought I’d commit suicide. I was so stressed about having herpes that I got an outbreak EVERY WEEK!!!! Eventually I got put on Valtrex (I made the decision because I couldn’t heal or figure out what the root cause of all of it was) daily and I had outbreaks about every 6 months then… it was a HUGE relief. After a little over a year my insurance wouldn’t cover the meds anymore and I went off them. I also decided to get off of birth control at the same time.. which was a lot on my body, especially considering my outbreaks are completely correlated with my hormones. I had about 4 outbreaks in a ROW for a couple of months! It was awful!! Gradually my body got used to being off valtrex.. and I tried Hygeia, lysine and infusions of elderberry and olive leaf every day to help my body adapt to the changes. Which worked really well for me! I would suggest those herbs and supplements to anyone who is going all natural and having trouble controling their outbreaks. Now my outbreaks.. after 3 years.. have basically stopped. They went from EVERY WEEK! To every six months.. to 4 in a row… to now the tiniest little one on my butt when I get my period.. almost every period but not every single one.. because my outbreaks are hormone related. Which I still haven’t figured out the root of that,. I do know that BIRTH CONTROL actually definitely contributed to my way too frequent outbreaks. It also had A LOT to do with that I am celiac but was not aware of it until a year or so ago.. Food allergies cause mad outbreaks! Immediately too, in my case. If you are getting mad out breaks, drop all food you may be allergic to and see what happens.. then slowly reintroduce each one and see what happens. You will find out for yourself if they are a problem for you or not. That is what I did!
    I would just like to speak on how I am now. I am now rarely ever getting outbreaks, I feel I have almost total control over my outbreaks. When I do get outbreaks its because of my hormones and I use colloidal silver topically and take vitex tincture, as well as herbal infusions, lysine and Hygeia capsules.. I haven’t “cured” those PMS outbreaks yet though.
    The really amazing thing is that I am in a relationship of over 3 months with a 20 year old guy who does not have herpes. We are in love and he choses not to use condoms with me because he trusts me. We openly talk about it whenever we want. I tell him to use a condom or to just not touch me there or around there when I am possibly concerned. I feel very lucky to have found such an amazing soul to share my soul with, but I also realized that any guy will do this. The key is to be confident when you tell them.. to tell them the fact.. not be offended if they react strange.. and give them a few days or whatever to think about it. If they love you they will come around! For me the hardest part around social stigma was that I wasn’t the type to be in a relationship often, and that caused me a lot more pain because I didn’t want to deal with telling those people. Now I have became confident enough that I tell EVERY ONE that I come in sexual contact with.. immediately! And they respect me for it, and if they leave I know it is for the better.
    Well that’s all for now, I am happy I finally shared and I hope some one gets something positive out of reading my experience/journey with herpes. <3

    #19856
    Dr. Kelly
    Keymaster

    Shasta,

    Thank you for sharing! Your question is excellent!

    The herpes virus can present itself (i.e.) show symptoms anywhere along the nerve branch where transmission occurred. While the virus lives within your spinal chord, when it is active, it travels along the nerve at the level of your spinal chord and it then becomes active at the surface of your skin. An “anal outbreak” is one of several branches from the same root. Think of a tree and all of it’s branches. If your symptoms are directly around the anus, then we know S5 nerve root was infected. If; however, the symptoms are further away from the anus, then it would indicate another sacral nerve (S2, S3 or S4) was infected(see image from lucy.stanford.edu)
    Pelvic Dermatomes

    As you can see, the S3 branch extends up and around the vagina and it also affects the skin more distantly around the anus. It really depends on how close your symptoms are to the anus. If your symptoms are directly next to the anus, then the S5 nerve root was affected, which means that transmission did occur from friction around the anus. If the symptoms are in the general area, then it could indicate that transmission occurred from contact anywhere within the patch of skin associated with the nerve root, aka the dermatome.

    Check out the image and reference where your symptoms are. This will be the telltale sign of whether or not you contracted herpes from anal sex or not.

    I hope this helps.

    Live. Love. Thrive.
    Dr. Kelly

    #19534
    Haylee
    Participant

    Hi ladies. My name is Haylee and I am currently 17 years young. I found out in September of 2014 that I had contracted genital herpes. It was one of the most painful and heart breaking things I have ever dealt with in my life so far.
    In the 17 years I have been on this earth, my soul has been threw many painful experiences. With being sexual abused by someone who I thought I could trust, my father being in and out of my life, moving away from my mother, losing friends, and between all those; having to deal with depression. But I do know one person I can count on, is my mother. She inspires me to love myself for who I am. My mother is the one who actually bout me the book “Live.Love. and Thrive. with herpes.”
    I moved 3 hours away from my mother last summer, and moved in the my aunt. It is my senior year and it has been the hardest one yet, but I am doing it and will graduate in May.
    But in that time a lot has happened. One of the big ones was finding out I had herpes.
    When I moved away from my mother I also moved away from my boyfriend at the time, Ryan. He has always been so supportive. It broke his heart when I left, but we tried to make things work. Everything was going ok, but then I found out I had herpes and I had to tell him. We both cried, and had so many questions. He did go get checked and his blood test was negative. Since then things have just fell apart. I did and still do love him. But I knew I couldn’t hold him back.
    I needed to work on myself.

    The first outbreak I had was when I went to the doctor and got tested for it. But the second time is now. I am currently taking pills to help it. I also know it cant make the herpes go away. I know that I have to live with this for the rest of my life and I’m still so young.
    I read my book every night while listening to spa music, and its like therapy to me.

    Now I am at the point of reaching out to others and wanting to know what others think. I want to share my story, and see how you ladies can inspire my young mind with your thoughts.

    #19855
    Shasta
    Participant

    Question!

    I didn’t get a whole lot of time to discuss this all with my doctor when I was diagnosed as it was a bit of a shock and of course I wasn’t thinking particularly straight. So I have a question about transmission routes:

    My genital herpes outbreak is in the anal region. My doctor asked me if my husband and I have ever had anal sex and I automatically answered ‘no’ because we don’t. BUT, when we were first together we DID experiment. That was about nine years ago so it didn’t immediately occur to me because hey, it was nine years ago.

    The doctor mentioned something about the route of least resistance to the effect of anal sex being the most likely culprit due to my outbreak presenting in that area. Is this true? Is it likely that I got the infection this way when we were experimenting? My husband is the only one I have ever experimented with.

    Thanks!

    #19536
    Shasta
    Participant

    Hi. I’m new here. And like all of you, I have a story.

    Yesterday was the day that I found out that I have herpes. I went to the doctor for a rash that I knew wasn’t “right”. I had done research online and after looking at photos I KNEW. But I also knew I needed a doctor to confirm, and confirm he did.

    Here’s the thing. I am almost 30. I have been in a monogamous relationship for ten years. Most women would say that perhaps my husband is doing things I don’t know about, but we’ve spent the majority of our relationship working together in a wilderness setting where we were literally on TOP of one another EVERY day. If he did anything…..well. He’s Houdini because there was no place to do it and as of right now he still works in a situation where we are so in touch throughout the day that…really- his cheating on me and contracting it is a highly unlikely scenario.

    So in speaking to my doctor he says it is not uncommon to be a carrier for years and have no signs or symptoms. And since my husband and I have been together for ten years…it’s highly unlikely he is free and clear of this and honestly either of us could have brought this to the table.

    I left the doctors yesterday thinking: How does one tell their spouse that they have genital herpes? I was surprisingly not upset. I was more upset at the prospect of hurting my husband. But I had read enough about the infection to not feel very alarmed; it is so common. I’m not dirty. I am a married woman. I am college educated. I have a career, a home, a life. But my husband. I DID feel numb.

    When he got home shortly after I did, I sat him down and explained what the doctor had told me, and that in a few weeks he needed to go in for testing. He listened very quietly. I wanted to cry.

    When I finished he moved over to me, wrapped his arms around me and told me that this didn’t change anything and it was just one more thing we had to share and move on with. Perhaps not a wanted share, but a share none-the-less.

    I have never felt so loved. We discussed possible past experiences of where it could have come from; he admitted to having had unprotected sex prior to our relationship (as had I) and of course even protected sex doesn’t completely protect you. And we both acknowledged that my past ex and “friend” could also be the culprit. And then my husband took me out to dinner.

    Ladies….please don’t feel hopeless. I know my story is probably unusual- I am in a long-term relationship. But I feel that my husband is proof that someone CAN love you. You WILL live on, you WILL live a normal life. This is just a part of you now. It will pop up from time to time, and they have medications to tamp it down a bit, and we will all figure out what works best for our bodies. Of course we can all hope we are that case that barely has an outbreak in our entire lives (look at me; I’ve probably been infected for more than TEN YEARS and had no clue).

    You are not dirty. You are human. And when you stand in a crowd, you are not alone.

    I want to stay active on here as I do believe we all need support in this. Society tends to make us feel ashamed about something like this, and we shouldn’t be. No one makes you feel ashamed when you get the flu, you shouldn’t feel ashamed when you find out you have herpes. Life will go on.

    I will update when I find out my husbands test results. The doctor says he suspects that he might be an asymptomatic carrier- the worst kind because they NEVER know they have it and pass it on. So we will see. Thank you for listening to my story.

    Live on, lovely ladies.

    #19754

    In reply to: Diagnosed yesterday

    Tink33
    Participant

    Hi,

    Don’t be too hard on yourself about this. I found out this December that I had HSV-2, and like most, I was devastated. I thought the outbreak was from my current boyfriend as we had been together for several months and I tested negative for HSV-2 in November. Well, my BF went and got tested for everything and his tests all came back negative. So, I’m left not knowing how I got it. Anyway, I told him that I thought we should breakup since he is negative and my culture came back positive. He said absolutely not. He was having a hard time dealing with the idea that he possibly gave it to me. However, he said he loves me so much, and is willing to accept the possibility that I could give it to him. We are both in our 30’s. He’s a successful wonderful man so don’t ever think you need to settle for less because of this. Also, as far as children go, many women with HSV have children and are perfectly fine. You might have to have a c-section but that’s not a big deal either. I had one before I contracted HSV because my little one was huge when he was born. Anyway, if you know your mom will be supportive, I would definitely talk to her about it. I did and my mom has been an amazing support system for me.

    Best Wishes!

    #19858

    In reply to: Herpetic Whitlow

    Dr. Kelly
    Keymaster

    This would be an example of auto inoculation, which generally does not occur after your first outbreak. If, however, you have a cut on your finger, I would not rub it on an open sore. Other than that, I would not be concerned.

    #19757
    Tink33
    Participant

    I really wish that I could still edit my original post. I thought I knew exactly who gave this to me. As it turns out I have no idea. My story is far more complicated then I ever expected. My BF and I assumed that he gave me HSV2 because I started having symptoms shortly after we were intimate. I thought he must have been asymptomatic. This is because I had all of my blood work including HSV2 done in November and I hadn’t been with anyone else in a long time. My blood tests came back “negative.” After being with him 2 times I had my first outbreak. My doctor took a culture sample and it came back positive for HSV2. Well my BF went and had blood work done the other day and his blood work HSV1 & HSV2 came back “negative.” He hasn’t been with anyone in over 2 years. We couldn’t be more confused. I asked my doctor if she could blood test me again to see how the results turn out now and she said that it’s not necessary at this point because the blood tests have very little usability. So I’m still wondering how I got this. I guess I’ll never know at this point since all of our blood tests have come back negative. I can say this though, my BF says he plans to stick by me no matter what and I really feel blessed to have such a wonderful and supportive BF. It helps so much cause this has been really tough.

    #19755
    Tink33
    Participant

    I just found out on Christmas Eve that I have HSV2. I was blood tested in Nov and 6 months before that, and my tests came back negative. With that being said I know exactly who gave it to me. I got it from the guy I started dating a few months ago. I told him I would not sleep with him unless he was STD tested. He went and had an HIV test and Hep, both came back negative. He is 37 and has only been with (2) other girls. His last relationship was an 8 year relationship. They broke up 2 years ago and he had not been with anyone since. He apparently is Asymptomatic. He’s never shown any symptoms and had no idea that he has HSV2. I’m a single mom and I work hard and I’m about to graduate from school. I’m completely devestated about this. I wish I had insisted that he was tested for this too. I just didn’t realize that you could have it with no symptoms. We even used condoms. I’m 33 years old and my son is 5 and I’m scared to even hug him. I know that might sound ridiculous but it’s true. I knew almost immediately when I contracted this. I started having shooting pains in the side of my butt cheek really bad then I inspected myself and on the outside of the labia I saw 3 lesions. Not blisters though. I went and had a culture and sure enough it was HSV2. I also had a super bad sore throat and felt unwell during the first outbreak. This was early December. Now it’s early Jan and I found a blister this time on the opposite side. It’s kind of on the side of my lower butt cheek. Once again I am devastated. My boyfriend is super upset and tells me he loves me all the time and how sorry he is. He is really good to me and my son. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I can completely forgive him for this happening. I wash my hands like 50 times a day and I’m so paranoid because I have my little boy and I feel unclean laying next to him. I hate feeling this way. Sometimes I have good days and other times I just break down and cry 🙁

    #19542
    Lilcasperlady
    Participant

    Hi all,
    I’m new to the forum, but not to Herpes. I got H from my now husband way back when we first became intimate while in college 10 years ago, he has frequent cold sores and I should’ve known but I was young and naive. My initial outbreak was devastating, humiliating and ROUGH, my husband though was so good and felt terrible. Once it was over though I didn’t think about it again for 8 YEARS. We got married and 2 years afterward had our son Colton. I had a rough pregnancy and delivery, then when Colton was only 2 weeks old he was life flighted for cluster seizures and because of my history of H, the doctors initially thought they may from that and gave him a not great prognosis. Fortunately (comparatively speaking) they found his seizures came from a blood clot in his brain. (He’s now an active toddler with mild to moderate developmental delays, still unsure what the future holds but having fun regardless). I struggled a long time with self guilt over an incorrect diagnosis and post partum anxiety and depression, still working on it but it gets better. Then 7 months later when I finally stopped pumping breast milk for my son, I developed chronic recurrent vaginitis that had me in pain for 2-3 weeks out of every month. Couple of months into that I started having even more intense pain, went back to find out I’m having herpes outbreaks on top of it! The recurrent vaginitis (hormonal and dr thinks potentially immune mediated) and herpes have been continuous for the past year and a half. I’m on a slew of medications, antivirals, birth control to suppress my hormones, vitamins, krill oil, lysine, zinc, changed my diet, cut out sugars, started eating a lot less processed foods, working out and taking time for myself. The only way to lower my stress further would be to ship out my toddler (who is currently in meltdown mode because I cut his sandwich in half, the inhumanity!). So yea, that’s my story. When my H outbreaks became BAD a few months ago, I read Dr. Kelly’s book, and now am trying very hard to accept herpes, forgive my husband (he didn’t know better) and break the association between my son’s birth and my physical and mental struggles. Phew, that was a lot. On a lighter note, I have awesome job I love and amazing coworkers, most of them have/had their own tiny tyrant tots and can relate, or at the very least drink wine and ignore the screaming.

    #19801

    In reply to: Menstruation

    Calm
    Participant

    Hi Rose,

    Good to hear from someone else in this situation!

    I am now about 8 weeks pregnant and I haven’t noticed anything different really. No outbreaks (although (apologies for graphic info) my pubic hair seems to be rather sensitive but I am not even sure if this is related to herpes at all – this virus confuses me!).

    So thus far I would say that being pregnant doesn’t bring on outbreaks the way menstruation did for me. I’ll let you know how I get on if you are interested.

    Wishing you so much luck! From what I’ve read around the topic giving birth with herpes is fairly low risk – especially if you know you have it and have had it for some time, and make your midwife etc aware. So I am hopeful that it won’t make a jot of difference.

    I am taking the maximum strength Pregnacare multivitamin, which has all sorts and comes with a separate daily omega 3 capsule. It includes all sorts…vitamin D, folic acid and others. Incidentally I noticed it also includes arginine which I have read is a trigger, but I figured my baby getting the best vitamins was more important than me potentially having an outbreak (and my outbreaks are so mild that they aren’t really clinically recognisable as herpes – although that comment reminds me how hopeless most doctors are at recognising and diagnosing herpes, in my experience).

    If you meant am I taking any sort of acyclovir or repressive medication, then the answer is no. I never have done and I wouldn’t want to whilst pregnant. I think they suggest taking it towards the end of pregnancy to prevent outbreaks near delivery, and if it makes sense I might do that.

    Hope this helps!

    #19795
    anonymous
    Participant

    Hi Birdie,

    How long have you been on suppressants? I just started two weeks ago when I had an outbreak. I decided to start taking the medicine daily, but am still getting outbreaks. Just curious how long it takes to kick in.

    I think the medicine suppresses the outbreak but doesn’t stop the recurrence. So you still might get an outbreak. That’s what I have read at least.

    #19892
    anonymous
    Participant

    Hi Ladies,

    I was recently diagnosed a year ago and have been going through all the emotions. Although I still struggle, I am trying to look forward and find a way to live with the virus. I have bought Dr Kelly’s book and am trying to incorporate meditation, etc in my life.

    I went to see a therapist when first diagnosed as I was very upset. In our meeting she mentioned a few of her patients also suffered from the virus for many years and tried this cleanse. They used to have outbreaks very often and after the cleanse they haven’t had any outbreaks.

    I realize there isn’t a cure, but wanted to see if anyone else has heard of this cleanse and had positive experience. Any thoughts?

    http://www.mineraldetox.com/faqs

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