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  • #45022
    kat
    Participant

    I’m new here. I was diagnosed yesterday and I’m terrified. I have never had an outbreak and my reasoning for getting tested was due to a messy breakup. Long and complicated story short..after I broke up with him he called a week later claiming I gave him HSV-2, thinking it was scare tactic to keep me in his clutch I didn’t think anything of it (as he was pulling out all the stops for me to stay with him), I get tested regularly and I’ve always been in the all clear. I started to think about his accusations constantly and decided to go get tested. Sure enough it was positive, I’m devastated, naturally. I’m trying to stay very matter of fact about it. I could question everything and probably will start having an emotional breakdown soon but for now I need suggestions on what my next steps are bc the NP literally said “why are you so upset?” What do I do from here?? Help.

    #45021

    In reply to: Advice Needed

    sugar
    Participant

    i would get retested if there was any doubt about your test results for peace of mind. If you never had an outbreak then i wouldn’t worry or think about taking medications, just keep yourself healthy.

    #45020
    Kass
    Participant

    I recently got a std panel which included hsv 1 & 2. I am positive for hsv1 and relatively can come to terms with this, as it’s super common. My results for hsv2 are what confuse me. My result being 2.6 – sometimes considered a “low positive”. Any literature or article I’ve read about low positives (below 3.5) claims that there is a possibility (or even 1/2 chance) that it is a false positive. The professional that called me insists that anything about a 1 is a true positive. Should I be concerned? I’m thinking of possibly requesting a retesting. Also I’d like to say that I would hate to come off as insensitive to anyone who may have hsv2 – there is no shame in having any type of STI. I’m just still young and don’t want to put myself through any medications if unnecessary. I would also like to note that I’ve never had an outbreak. Any advice is very appreciated!

    #45010

    In reply to: Recently diagnosed

    Chaz
    Participant

    Hi Bree, from personal experience as someone who is still waiting to disclose to a partner of 7yrs I would say be kind to yourself. Initial diagnosis is very scary! Disclosing this kind of information is also terrifying and although it is cowardly of him to not tell you if you do genuinely really like this man then you could possibly work through it. Or see where it goes. I think it’s very important that you ask him as many questions as you need to feel comfortable and from his answers you will probably be able to gauge what kind of person he is. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this, but the outbreaks get easier, shorter and less frequent with time. Sending love and support your way!

    #45006
    Bree
    Participant

    Hello everyone…my name is Bree. This last week I was recently diagnosed with Herpes. I have so many mixed emotions right now. I have been talking with the guy I am now dating for about four months. We decided to take the next step after visits, constant communication and planning that he move to my area and we would be together. That was a HUGE step for me because I have not been in a relationship for almost five years. I thought I was doing all the right things…I even waited until after he was here to sleep with him. Well about 6 days after we had sex, I began to have horrible pain and decided to go to the doctor. That day she confirmed what became my worst nightmare. I went back to the house and talked to him. He told me he had herpes. He began saying he has never given it to anyone and has had it for 8 years. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I still don’t. I have cried…a lot. I am mad and I am angry. I am not this girl…I have always been careful and I thought I was doing it all the right way. Why?!? There are thoughts that go through my mind like did he do this on purpose? To trap me in a sense?! But then I think like ..no he’s a good guy he wouldn’t do that. I don’t know what to do or how to control my racing thoughts. I have thought about ending it with him, but then again here I am with it so I feel like why wouldn’t I stay now. I’m so confused and lost in this whole situation. I feel like what I have prided myself on my whole life of “not being that type of girl” is over. How do I carry on. What from here?
    Also any advice for the breakouts would be helpful. Mine are painful and using the bathroom is a nightmare sat this point. I am now on day three of my medication and I’m hoping this outbreak goes away soon.

    Bree

    #45003
    Diane
    Participant

    I’ve had HSV2 for 12 years and apart from the initial outbreak never had one at all until now and in the last 6 months I’ve had about 5. No idea why all of a sudden 🙁

    #44995
    spiritbird444
    Participant

    I just had an outbreak, the 3rd one I’ve had since I was diagnosed in 2017. I have genital HSV1. I got it from an ex who had a coldsore. Since my diagnosis I have slowly and completely changed my entire life. I went from being a sociable outgoing person with a ton of friends to being an introvert who never goes out and has very few close connections. I realised today that I’ve isolated myself over the past five years, subconsciously telling myself I can never get my life back, that I can’t travel, that I’ll never find a relationship. It’s manifested in me just staying in and watching tv all the time and overeating. I realised when I had my outbreak this week that I’m in a much better place about it now than I was in 2017 and the following years. I had a lot of shame. I don’t have the same shame but I still haven’t really told anyone I know. I feel like I won’t be accepted. I’d love to have people to talk to and be myself so I hope I can make some connections in here.

    #44993
    armada_05wheel
    Participant

    I was diagnosed 3 years ago after ending up in A&E unable to pee. I’ve never experienced pain like it. I had an ulcer that split right across my urethra.
    I was on morphine and had to be catheterised.
    They said the first outbreak is the worst and subsequent outbreaks have been mild. I’ve had two in three years.
    Then, last week I had a lump the size of a Brussels sprout appear in my armpit. A week later I had one on the edge of my vulva. Then I just became enveloped in sores from front to back and my mouth has never had so many sores.
    It’s been horrendous. Ended up in A&E with a catheter that I’ve taken home with me for five days and oxycodone for the pain. I’m finally healing but this is the worst outbreak I’ve had.
    I have a new partner and he has been so understanding. He said he’s not going anywhere which is amazing but I still feel so disgusting that his new girlfriend has HSV -1.
    Do any of you have any remedies to cope with the sores so that I don’t keep needing catheters? I can’t keep going to A&E like this it’s destroying my soul. I’m going to try suppression therapy but will I live with these horrendous outbreaks for the rest of my life? Any help will be greatly received.

    #44989
    Skittles123
    Participant

    Hey girly,

    I am in a similar situation and selfishly find your story comforting to know I’m not the only one out there. Having herpes has definitely changed my life and has put me into a depression in the past but trying to look on the bright side with success stories has slightly helped. I was diagnosed in 2020 while in the beginning stages of a relationship who then became a long term boyfriend. We both had outbreaks to later find out it was HSV2. We will never know who gave it to who or where it really came from but I guess it doesn’t matter at this point. He was not the most emotionally intelligent and both having it lead me to not have to deal with it then and burry my emotions which I am now dealing with two years later.

    We broke up a few months ago for other reasons and I am now recently learning how to navigate dating with our condition. I am still confused on how to ever approach the situation and have been advised by doctors that if you are on medication there is barely any chance of passing it on and you can be intimate without disclosing. But the thought of giving it to someone else without telling them makes me feel terrible and I don’t know if I could go through with that.

    I have a friend with HSV2 who was intimate with someone she was dating (while on medication for it) and then told him a couple months after. He was so supportive and comforting and they have been dating for 3 years now.

    I have another girlfriend who has it, she was dating a guy and held off for months to become intimate and then when she decided she was ready she told him and got a positive, supportive response. They just got married last week! It really is a case by case kind of situation.

    I think if you meet someone where you have a connection, try to hold off the intimacy. This is maybe one of the only positives to our situation, it has lead us really evaluate on who you choose to be intimate with. If you can see someone has good intentions and really likes you for you then its time to have the conversation, and if they react negatively then it wasn’t meant to be and I’m sure other issues of them being a shitty, judgemental person would of come up further down the line. I am definitely not a prude and have had a few one night stands but since my diagnosis I have realized sex is kind of a big deal and can’t be having it with just anybody.

    Herpes is really just a stupid skin condition like Brooke said. But trust me, it gets better and easier to deal with. Hearing success stories from girls I know has really helped and also helped me normalize it. I am more recently dealing with it and know how dark and lonely it can get. Just know you’re not alone and the right person is out there for you <3

    #44988
    tinypaws930
    Participant

    Hey I was diagnosed about two months ago and the exact same thing happened to me I’m 17 and started talking to a guy he didn’t tell me he had a girlfriend and proceeded to be with me knowing she had herpes and so did I think it’s the worse my health has been during my first outbreak i really thought and hoped it was a uti but it wasn’t I had a 106 fever I couldn’t walk extremely painful I had bad sores I cried when I first saw them my gums also swelled and got very red I also got a cold sore on my younger I didn’t have any appetite for like almost two weeks I lost weight it also hurt to eat because my mouth was in so much pain it was traumatic and the fact that I had to go to planned parenthood hood alone because I didn’t want to tell my parents (they ended up finding out) I was put on antivirals and it went away in about 3 days at first it wasn’t bad but recently I’ve fallen into a dark hole I thought I would be better but I’m not I feel invalid I don’t feel like me and I’ve had breakdowns and suicidal thoughts my mental health is the worse it’s ever been and he’s happy with someone and I feel like he took the opportunity to find love my confidence, me.I still see hope for the future and I’m doing better then I think.I’m pretty sure I have type one and type two because after finals I got like 6 cold sores in my mouth but I since things like a lot of stress can trigger an outbreak (I decided not to be on medicine during this time )have not had any outbreaks at all down there . And I guess it’s not that bad physically but very mentally draining I hope I make it through this I just got on suppressive therapy and I feel normal. It will take alot of time and healing but we got this 🙂

    #44965
    Cherry
    Participant

    I am also trying to figure out how to reduce outbreaks. I have had it since 2019 and have outbreaks atleast twice a year. I feel like sex triggers it for me and I also get a white discharge that comes back as BV. I’m also curious if this happens to anyone else?

    mnfirehorse66
    Participant

    Thanks for posting this Rae. I’m new here it would be great to get more tips on how to manage the outbreaks, and to prevent them. I read on an Amazon review of Femiclear, that it burns like hell, but works so the reviewer said to squeeze it into a bottle with a dropper since it’s more like a liquid than an ointment, then mix it with manuka honey for application. Manuka honey itself is also supposed to be very healing and should be eaten as well as applied. So I am doing all of this.

    #44959
    mnfirehorse66
    Participant

    Hi both, I was just diagnosed yesterday and also in shock and enormous physical pain. I’m glad to know you haven’t had more outbreaks- is there anything you are taking, or doing, medication or otherwise to stay healthy?

    #44955

    In reply to: Newly Diagnosed

    mnfirehorse66
    Participant

    Hello everyone, just got diagnosed yesterday. I think I have a pretty severe case of genital herpes. It’s shocking as I’m 55 years old and I’ve been married for 18 years, and just got it from my husband. I knew he had oral herpes, no signs of genital. I’m just joining the forum and will be looking for solutions for the unbelievable agonizing pain, and how to heal and how to prevent outbreaks.

    K
    Participant

    Hi guys, I was recently diagnosed with HSV-1 in November 2021. I had a pretty bad first outbreak but got it sorted with meds. However, since then I have had the typical profile sypmtoms a lot and no sign of any blisters/sores. Basically, I get the shooting nerve pain down my legs, tingling down my legs and butt, a lot of vaginal itchiness and lower back pain. A strange thing that happens when I get these symptoms is I get one small red spot that forms on my butt cheek. It’s only one and they look like pimples and don’t blister or itch or hurt. I’m just concerned because why do they appear every time I get these prodome symptoms? Does anyone else get this? Is this a mini-outbreak? Does this mean I’m shedding/contagious all the time? Also, I feel like my nerve pain gets triggered by alcohol, is this common? I’m really nervous because I’m constantly worried if I’m contagious when the nerve pain hits. Or is this all just post-herpatic nerve pain? Will it go away?

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