I’m a single mother two time divorcee, five years single but still had a few partners in my single years (all men). My last partner (a man) was more than 8 months ago. I hadn’t had insurance for 5 years – due to it not being offered in any of my full time jobs, but this time, I was able to receive health insurance. I decided to go for a check up and get tested. I requested for the complete run down. Herpes included. Fast forward a week later and my doctor called me in for a “consultation”. I immediately thought my HPV had come back and I needed to get my pre-cancer cells zapped out again. But the news was far worse than that. Turns out I was right about having HPV again, this time not cancerous, but I was also diagnosed with HSV-2. I was DEVASTATED. I hadn’t experienced any major outbreaks, but I sort of had a gut feeling based on having a small blister on my genitals. I didn’t want to think about it, so I quickly wrote the thought off. After all, I was told in the past, the effects of Herpes 2 comes rather quickly. Boy, was I wrong. Anyway, I treated it, but then another appeared and I treated that as well.
I asked my doctor if the blister was caused by Herpes 2, he said no. In fact, any question I had about this virus, he quickly brushed me off and told me to live life “as I have” before quickly ushering me out of the door. I was angry, I was sad, I was confused. I hadn’t had sex in over 8 months and it was someone I’d known and had been dating for over three years. I’d finally dumped him and this was his parting gift? I was so numb I couldn’t even cry. I was a ball of mixed emotions.
I have a huge crush on a woman at my job and she feels the same for me. The moment I saw her, I zinged. Long story short about us, I’m open about my sexuality and she isn’t, so there have been several talks about risking it all for love. I was more than willing to wait for her to open up, I was following my heart and allowing my true feelings to take over. She changed a lot of things for me and I for her. But… My immediate thought process once the diagnosis had sunk in was, “welp it’s over.” “Any future with her is done. All bets are off. I’m not worth the risk of her coming out, let alone being with. I’m damaged goods. She’ll never understand or accept this.” And that’s when I cried. Since then, I have avoided her. We still keep in touch but there’s zero flirtation and talks about going out on a date. I don’t entertain her statements about being in a relationship with a woman. Things are just not the same. I don’t feel the need to disclose my status to her as we are nothing more than work buddies and to be honest I would really like to be private with my journey.
But I am still so confused about dating someone of the same sex when I actually do find that person. I’ve done so much research since finding out about my status, and I couldn’t find much information about the likelihood of passing it on to a woman. I’m still trying to cope with having the virus. And now I have to be extra careful because of my HPV. I did learn that stress causes outbreaks and I noticed that every time I think about having it, I can feel my skin flaring up and my buttocks itching. I’m happy about being in the know about my status, as I also learned that doctors don’t normally check for it unless it’s requested, I learned that more people have it then we care to think about. And more than likely still won’t get tested. I’m slowly building my confidence back up and working up the nerve to share it on my diary blog. I’m taking it one day at a time. But I’m here to give and receive support. There are days I feel fine and there are days I feel defeated. I keep a smile on my face either way, but the thought is still buried in the back of my mind, quickly surfacing to the front. I’m now in no rush to date, again, but any information on transmitting the disease to a woman would be helpful. Thanks so much for reading my entry, and an even bigger thank you for allowing me to read your personal stories.
Topic: MY TRUTH-my diagnoses
I will start by saying I have NEVER told anyone my truth and have never shared with anyone other than my gynecologist. I am hoping that by telling my story here I will find the confidence to share it with a potential partner. My reason for not sharing has been embarrassment and fear of being looked at differently or rejected. Also, I don’t want “friends” telling other “friends” or anyone else knowing my personal business. For example one of my best friends who I usually confide in made me aware years ago of another mutual friend who was devastated by a diagnoses. I am pretty sure it was herpes and I wanted to reach out when I was diagnosed but I couldn’t because I wasn’t supposed to know she had it. (crazy huh) She has since been in an amazing long term relationship and I want guidance on how to share with a potential partner and what her ups and downs were but I can’t ask.
I have probably had herpes well over 25 years but was diagnosed almost 4 years ago. As Dr. Kelly states in her book, Drs. sometimes brush it off for various reasons. I remember telling my gynecologist in my late 20’s (I’m early 50s now) that I had the strangest symptoms. Whenever I got my period I would get a rash on my right hip. He lightly said “Oh it’s probably just herpes” and moved on. I now know that it was the symptoms of herpes. Honestly I am glad I wasn’t made aware then because I don’t know how my life would have turned out or how I would have handled it but I often wonder if I have exposed anyone else unknowingly.
Originally I diagnosed myself. I have always been conscious of my health, getting yearly exams including checks for STDs. I ended up getting a cold sore under my nose and went to the pharmacy to get an ointment. Because I am also indecisive I couldn’t figure out what to get so I asked the pharmacist. He informed me it was a virus that was internal and I should try the Abreva. What…. an internal virus! I turned to google when I got home and realized the images staring at me on the screen looked very familiar to what I experienced monthly on my thigh. Yes I said monthly! The blessing is I don’t have vaginal issues, my symptoms are sacral meaning I “only” get a small patch of bumps on my thigh or on my buttocks.
My marriage was causing severe stress for unrelated reasons and my symptoms were out of control. Fast and frequent when one would leave, another would come. I had to confide in someone so on my next visit to a new gynecologist I stated “I need to tell you something….I think I have herpes” His reply was ….is that all? What? Long story short I had a blood test done to find out I have HSV types 1 and 2.
The original plan was to take Valtrex only when I had an outbreak but they were too frequent. My doctor couldn’t believe that I experienced them once or more a month. I have been on suppressive therapy for almost 3 years and it has been a God send.
I have been following a cleanse that has helped me to lose weight ONLY to find out that the foods required cause outbreaks! Protein bars, meal replacement shakes, protein powder, and nuts. I have been eating this way DAILY almost 2 years. By reading Dr. Kelly’s book I know this is a definite no no. I am so lost at this point I don’t know what to do or eat. Strenous exercise…..what? I am now on a journey to heal from within and following Dr. Kelly’s book. I do know my emotions trigger outbreaks. I can feel the tension in my back when something or someone gets on my nerves or I get stressed. I have found solace in the PinkTent website and am Optimistic that I can eliminate my symptoms altogether.
I have met a man that I am quite interested in. We have similar marital situations and have been communicating well over a year and have a chemistry that you know sex is forthcoming. We’ve even talked about it. I have to tell him of my issue but I don’t know how, where to begin, or what to even say. The caveat is we work together. I am terrified of how he will respond. My fear is having a coworker knowing something so personal about me if it doesn’t work out.
Any suggestions or guidance is appreciated!
Topic: Genital HSV1
I was diagnosed with Genital HSV1 awhile back In April 2018 I believe and it have been a tough journey, when I first found out about it I thought I had razor burn so when I went to the doctor and got my results I didn’t believe them because I had previously been for a scare and the doctor diagnosed me for Herpes then called back and said she made a mistake I was emotionally broken and couldn’t believe I contracted something incurable second time with a std I was devastated I did have a partner who I told and luckily he was on my side still is I only have him and my mother in my corner and I still become extremely lonely and do find myself in isolation I have had several outbreaks since I believe it’s because of my diet I’ve started to pay attention to that and take it a lot more serious after my most recent outbreak lasted for a month and days I talked to my mother and decided to take it head on let the leasions dry on there own and heal the pain was so excruciating I found myself crying a river became very depressed and isolated I couldn’t walk I had to call out of work for a week so the outbreak is clearing up wonderfully now I try to stay away from arginine and consume lots of lysine I have lysine vitamins vitamins b 12 stress complex and valtrex I was in a desperate search for a support group here in Baltimore we don’t have any I told my mother If I was suicidal I would have tried to kill myself (but I’m not) I’m a Warrior and I’m going to take control of my situation I try to stay in good spirits I don’t give this situation negative energy but sometimes I do feel defeated and that I’ll never win the battle my doctor is extremely nonchalant and broke me down even more but I’m very happy to have found this page and this support group sorry for this long post but I have been waiting to interact with people like me for so long it feels refreshing to tell my story so if any tips on how to manage naturally (teas essential oils etc ) please enlighten me I’m also going to purchase the book dr kelly has
Topic: hsv1- looking for answers
So I was just diagnosed with HSV-1 today. I’ve been researching online to see how this will affect my life now and I have several questions I’m hoping someone here can help me answer.
1) My initial outbreak was a tiny ulcer on my genitals. I went into the clinic the day after my initial symptoms and got anti-virals and it subsided after a few days. I haven’t had any signs of herpes in my mouth…I don’t think. I had a small bump on the inside of my lower lip but it didn’t hurt in the slightest and went away after a day or so and these bumps are something I have had waaaay before my initial outbreak. Could these bumps in my mouth be from HSV-1 all this time and I just had no idea until it reached my genitals? I guess my first question is, how obvious are oral herpes outbreaks? Could that have been one? And since I have the HSV-1 virus does that mean I will inevitably have an oral outbreak?
2) My second question (the one that originally brought me here) is about how to have sex now. I’m not gonna lie, this diagnosis has probably stopped me from having sex for quite a while just because of the mental component, but I want to be well educated on this topic. In my research I came across the information that non-spermicidal lubricant often has nonoxynol-9 (N-9) which irritates the vagina and can cause outbreaks. I was incredibly irritated to find that its nearly impossible to find information about what products I can use that DO NOT have N-9. I found a certain lubricant that is recommended for people with herpes but I’m more curious about condoms, or condom brands that don’t use N-9. What does “natural” condom mean? Will I always have to use non-lubricated condoms? I know these questions might be dumb but I’m just having a hard time coping with this and I’m finding it stressful that a virus this common is so hard to study 🙁
3) I think one of the hardest most stressful parts about this diagnosis is how to tell my friends and family. I told my twin sister who was very supportive and awesome about it, but I have no idea how to approach it with my friends. I don’t want to share drinks or lipstick or any of that with them anymore to avoid the risk of passing the virus onto them. I realize that this is low risk but I’m trying to be careful. Have any of you told your friends? If so, how? And are there any tips you can give me? I love my friends and I think they’d be supportive but I’m just terrified that they’re going to look at me differently, even though they’re well aware of my sexual history (girl talk and all that). I’m just worried about the social stigma surrounding the virus and I don’t want my friends to see me as “dirty” or a risk to them in any way.
Sorry I know this post is long and I didn’t even realize I had this much to say until I started typing. Thanks for sticking with me this long. Any advice will help! I’m so glad I’ve been able to join this community and read your guys’s stories. It really helps knowing I’m not alone in this. Thanks!
- This topic was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by cowgirl222.
Topic: Just diagnosed hsv 1
Just diagnosed yesterday, I have been with my partner about 4 months and we have been having sex unprotected.. I’ve never had an outbreak until last week, my normal STD testing has been normal . He does not know yet because I wanted to wait to find out for sure before making him panic. One night we had sex, he gave me oral with whipped cream and literally two days later, I am having what my doctor has told me is an outbreak . What the chances that he has this considering we’ve been having unprotected sex for months ? What’s the chances he has given this to me? Since being with him unprotected I’ve had two uti’s and now this, however my std testing all was negative but i was Not tested for herpes considering I’ve never had an outbreak or sores. I havent seen anything on him orally . But i feel There is no way he doesn’t have it we’ve been having unprotected sex four months and this is the first time I’ve ever experienced anything like this. He still has no symptom or idea of this but after i follow Up with my doctor i want to tell him . I want To tell him now but I think I should wait til I know more.
Topic: I’m glad I’m not alone
I can’t tell you the comfort it brings me seeing that I’m not by myself. It started out with what I thought was a run of the mill yeast infection, and a weird burning lesion on my anus that has since become my most painful issue.
I was in so much pain last night I ended up at the hospital, there was cramping, bloating stabbing, burning, dizziness, nausea.Pretty much you name it and it was happening to my vagina. I can’t even sit in the bath tub or let water hit my vagina, it’s too painful and it forces this response that makes it feel like I’m being kicked over and over again.
The wait at the ER last night was the worst pain of my life, the worst moment and I didn’t even get to see a doctor. My beloved fiancée held me for six hours as I cried in crippling pain, begging for help. I felt so alone and isolated and like no one cared about me.
We have an amazing local std clinic, and they see people quickly. So I went there and after some assessment the nurse said that she thought I had genital herpes and prescribed me with valtrax just to be safe. After all the research I’ve done since getting home, I agree with her diagnosis and hope it’s correct so that this medicine will take my pain.
I’ve been with my partner exclusively for five years, and no one else so this diagnosis is coming out of no where. It’s a huge surprise.
He’s incredibly supportive and would love and care for me no matter what, but I still feel terrible. Frightened that these outbreaks won’t ever stop, frightened that it’s going to hurt forever and that the valtrax is always going to make me feel tired and nauseous…..
I’m scared that it’s always going to be like this and that I’ll lose everything, my future husband, my career that I’ve worked so hard to build, my sex life, my physical capabilities.
I know in reality that won’t happen, but it just feels so frightening right now.
Topic: A new beginning
Yesterday I was diagnosed with genital herpes and here is my story. I am a 19 year old student at Bloomsburg University of PA. I have become quite a drinker since high school and have been permiscuous and negligent. I slept with someone I trusted, and he told me he was recently checked and is clean. Two days later I started getting painful symptoms. For some reason my initial outbreak was so severe that I went to the hospital. I have sores on my anus, butt, and inside/outside of vagina. I also feel sick and can’t get rid of this awful headache. The headache is like the worst I’ve ever had. I can’t even use the bathroom without crying from the pain of urine and wiping. The part that bothers me is that the man who gave me this disease was my “friend” and he was super nice and caring and I felt like he was genuine. But I’m reality, he was just trying to get into my pants. I feel violated. And dirty. And scared. The love of my life & I are in an open relationship and we have been together since high school. Idk how I’m going to tell him. I hate this. I’m scared of medicine and illnesses so it makes it even worse. I’m gonna try to look at it in a different light as time goes on. I want to learn from my mistake and hopefully get forgiveness from the man I love and have a monogamous relationship. I really hope he will look past the herpes and still be with me. I also will need to quite drinking so much. I feel like I deserved this. But idek what to think or feel yet.
Back in the beginning of August I was diagnosed with Herpes type two. The way in which I was diagnosed was extremely difficult.
Prior to meeting my partner who I received HSV2 from I had not been out on a date/relationship in close to a year. Wanted to get back out there again. We met and talked for close to three weeks before becoming intimate.
A week later I became very ill. High fever, body aches and chills and my lower abdomen hurt. I was send to the hospital after five days of symptoms not subsiding.
The doctors wanted to keep me over the weekend, do to an Ovarian cyst or and infection in my fallopian tube. They ran me for the most common STD ; trig, clap and gino. all came back negative.
The reason they kept me over night is that my white blood count was not at the right level. Night two of being in the hospital my throat began to throb and my lymphnos on my neck were extremely swollen.
Right before leaving the hospital (a totally of 4 days) they ran a viral culture on my throat. With 48hours i received results that my test on my throat came back as herpes.
Of course once I started reading about Herpes I wanted to know which kind. I took a blood test and it stated in the IgG test was that my index was 7.42 which suggested I had a early infection of HSV 2.
Two days later I received more results stating that I recently tested positive for HSV 1 and 2 in the IGM phase of the reaction. Also stating both HSV1 and 2 share many cross reacting antigens. Elevated titers to both HSV1 and 2 may represent cross reactive HSV antibodies rather than exposure to both HSV 1 and 2.
What does that mean? Do I have both? I have no idea. Its been over a month and I have had no vaginal outbreak and no sore throat. My only outbreak was in my throat. Can i pass it orally and vaginally? Or just orally because thats where my only outbreak was.
I am considering going back to the doctors for more test and more answers. I am just still so confused and frustrated.
Thank you for reading, i know i was long. Any advise would be greatly appreciated!
- This topic was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by Elizabeth.
Viewing 15 results - 1 through 15 (of 998 total)
Viewing 15 results - 1 through 15 (of 998 total)