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    I was diagnosed with Genital HSV1 awhile back In April 2018 I believe and it have been a tough journey, when I first found out about it I thought I had razor burn so when I went to the doctor and got my results I didn’t believe them because I had previously been for a scare and the doctor diagnosed me for Herpes then called back and said she made a mistake I was emotionally broken and couldn’t believe I contracted something incurable second time with a std I was devastated I did have a partner who I told and luckily he was on my side still is I only have him and my mother in my corner and I still become extremely lonely and do find myself in isolation I have had several outbreaks since I believe it’s because of my diet I’ve started to pay attention to that and take it a lot more serious after my most recent outbreak lasted for a month and days I talked to my mother and decided to take it head on let the leasions dry on there own and heal the pain was so excruciating I found myself crying a river became very depressed and isolated I couldn’t walk I had to call out of work for a week so the outbreak is clearing up wonderfully now I try to stay away from arginine and consume lots of lysine I have lysine vitamins vitamins b 12 stress complex and valtrex I was in a desperate search for a support group here in Baltimore we don’t have any I told my mother If I was suicidal I would have tried to kill myself (but I’m not) I’m a Warrior and I’m going to take control of my situation I try to stay in good spirits I don’t give this situation negative energy but sometimes I do feel defeated and that I’ll never win the battle my doctor is extremely nonchalant and broke me down even more but I’m very happy to have found this page and this support group sorry for this long post but I have been waiting to interact with people like me for so long it feels refreshing to tell my story so if any tips on how to manage naturally (teas essential oils etc ) please enlighten me I’m also going to purchase the book dr kelly has



    So I was just diagnosed with HSV-1 today. I’ve been researching online to see how this will affect my life now and I have several questions I’m hoping someone here can help me answer.

    1) My initial outbreak was a tiny ulcer on my genitals. I went into the clinic the day after my initial symptoms and got anti-virals and it subsided after a few days. I haven’t had any signs of herpes in my mouth…I don’t think. I had a small bump on the inside of my lower lip but it didn’t hurt in the slightest and went away after a day or so and these bumps are something I have had waaaay before my initial outbreak. Could these bumps in my mouth be from HSV-1 all this time and I just had no idea until it reached my genitals? I guess my first question is, how obvious are oral herpes outbreaks? Could that have been one? And since I have the HSV-1 virus does that mean I will inevitably have an oral outbreak?

    2) My second question (the one that originally brought me here) is about how to have sex now. I’m not gonna lie, this diagnosis has probably stopped me from having sex for quite a while just because of the mental component, but I want to be well educated on this topic. In my research I came across the information that non-spermicidal lubricant often has nonoxynol-9 (N-9) which irritates the vagina and can cause outbreaks. I was incredibly irritated to find that its nearly impossible to find information about what products I can use that DO NOT have N-9. I found a certain lubricant that is recommended for people with herpes but I’m more curious about condoms, or condom brands that don’t use N-9. What does “natural” condom mean? Will I always have to use non-lubricated condoms? I know these questions might be dumb but I’m just having a hard time coping with this and I’m finding it stressful that a virus this common is so hard to study 🙁

    3) I think one of the hardest most stressful parts about this diagnosis is how to tell my friends and family. I told my twin sister who was very supportive and awesome about it, but I have no idea how to approach it with my friends. I don’t want to share drinks or lipstick or any of that with them anymore to avoid the risk of passing the virus onto them. I realize that this is low risk but I’m trying to be careful. Have any of you told your friends? If so, how? And are there any tips you can give me? I love my friends and I think they’d be supportive but I’m just terrified that they’re going to look at me differently, even though they’re well aware of my sexual history (girl talk and all that). I’m just worried about the social stigma surrounding the virus and I don’t want my friends to see me as “dirty” or a risk to them in any way.

    Sorry I know this post is long and I didn’t even realize I had this much to say until I started typing. Thanks for sticking with me this long. Any advice will help! I’m so glad I’ve been able to join this community and read your guys’s stories. It really helps knowing I’m not alone in this. Thanks!


    • This topic was modified 2 weeks, 2 days ago by  cowgirl222.


    Just diagnosed yesterday, I have been with my partner about 4 months and we have been having sex unprotected.. I’ve never had an outbreak until last week, my normal STD testing has been normal . He does not know yet because I wanted to wait to find out for sure before making him panic. One night we had sex, he gave me oral with whipped cream and literally two days later, I am having what my doctor has told me is an outbreak . What the chances that he has this considering we’ve been having unprotected sex for months ? What’s the chances he has given this to me? Since being with him unprotected I’ve had two uti’s and now this, however my std testing all was negative but i was Not tested for herpes considering I’ve never had an outbreak or sores. I havent seen anything on him orally . But i feel There is no way he doesn’t have it we’ve been having unprotected sex four months and this is the first time I’ve ever experienced anything like this. He still has no symptom or idea of this but after i follow Up with my doctor i want to tell him . I want To tell him now but I think I should wait til I know more.



    Sweet Faela–

    Thank you for your willingness to share your story. You are right, dear one– you are not alone. However, if can feel that way when we have our first outbreak when we get the diagnosis and move forward.

    I am glad you have your fiancee to help you through the pains.

    Typically, the first outbreak is by far the very worst. That has been the case for most people. The emotions you expressed above are very reminiscent of how I and others I know have felt. So, I hope you are comforted to learn that in that regard you are not alone, either.

    There are many things you can do to help decrease the number of outbreaks and it all revolves around boosting your immune system and keeping it on an optimal level, stress management, knowing what your personal triggers are ( foods, stress, hormone change, etc).

    Read The Herpes drop down section of this website for a lot of great info.

    I hope your pains and worry has subsided.

    Sending love


    In reply to: HSV1 and disclosure


    Hi Renata-

    All great questions. Sadly, there is not a ton of valid info about herpes because it is very common and not terribly worrisome.

    The only way to tell where you have HSV1 is by having an outbreak. From the sounds of it, you are an asymptomatic carrier of HSV, which means you carry the virus but do not experience symptoms. 85% of the population who has herpes are asymptomatic carriers and the majority of the population has the virus. So, you’re not alone.

    HSV1 can be oral, oral and genital or just genital.

    My best advice would be to tell partners what you have had a blood test and HSV1, most commonly ‘cold sores’ showed positive but that you’ve never experienced an outbreak. This does not mean that you can’t pass it along, unfortunately, but the risk is lower.

    Check out The Facts on the Herpes drop down on this website, it’s very informative (if you haven’t already). Also, I really like this video. It’s helpful, too.

    I hope this helps.

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 3 days ago by  Happyhopeful.


    I can’t tell you the comfort it brings me seeing that I’m not by myself. It started out with what I thought was a run of the mill yeast infection, and a weird burning lesion on my anus that has since become my most painful issue.
    I was in so much pain last night I ended up at the hospital, there was cramping, bloating stabbing, burning, dizziness, nausea.Pretty much you name it and it was happening to my vagina. I can’t even sit in the bath tub or let water hit my vagina, it’s too painful and it forces this response that makes it feel like I’m being kicked over and over again.
    The wait at the ER last night was the worst pain of my life, the worst moment and I didn’t even get to see a doctor. My beloved fiancée held me for six hours as I cried in crippling pain, begging for help. I felt so alone and isolated and like no one cared about me.
    We have an amazing local std clinic, and they see people quickly. So I went there and after some assessment the nurse said that she thought I had genital herpes and prescribed me with valtrax just to be safe. After all the research I’ve done since getting home, I agree with her diagnosis and hope it’s correct so that this medicine will take my pain.
    I’ve been with my partner exclusively for five years, and no one else so this diagnosis is coming out of no where. It’s a huge surprise.
    He’s incredibly supportive and would love and care for me no matter what, but I still feel terrible. Frightened that these outbreaks won’t ever stop, frightened that it’s going to hurt forever and that the valtrax is always going to make me feel tired and nauseous…..
    I’m scared….
    I’m scared that it’s always going to be like this and that I’ll lose everything, my future husband, my career that I’ve worked so hard to build, my sex life, my physical capabilities.
    I know in reality that won’t happen, but it just feels so frightening right now.


    In reply to: A new beginning


    Oh sweet girl. Let me just say that all of this resonates with me. I was diagnosed in March of 2018 after I started dating an ex (whom I knew was really controlling and had some seriously dark energy), and I too felt very overwhelmed, angry, violated, etc. And my initial outbreak was very painful as well, it was everything I could do to even make it off the couch to get the kids to daycare in the mornings, and it was extremely painful to do anything. BUT….and I want you to hear this….in this diagnosis I have found so much SOUL HEALING. I am learning how to honor my body, and respect and love myself. I have learned how to listen to my body as I learn to identify my triggers. I too rarely doctor for anything (because I don’t need to) and to receive this diagnosis and start on the anti-virals (and find a dosage that was helpful to me) was very overwhelming. But you will learn how to manage symptoms, and you will find wisdom in the wounding in this. It is a journey deep into self love, self forgiveness, and self care. I’m so glad that you found this place to land where we can love on, encourage and come alongside of you. Sending so much love, healing and light your way today. XOXOXO



    Yesterday I was diagnosed with genital herpes and here is my story. I am a 19 year old student at Bloomsburg University of PA. I have become quite a drinker since high school and have been permiscuous and negligent. I slept with someone I trusted, and he told me he was recently checked and is clean. Two days later I started getting painful symptoms. For some reason my initial outbreak was so severe that I went to the hospital. I have sores on my anus, butt, and inside/outside of vagina. I also feel sick and can’t get rid of this awful headache. The headache is like the worst I’ve ever had. I can’t even use the bathroom without crying from the pain of urine and wiping. The part that bothers me is that the man who gave me this disease was my “friend” and he was super nice and caring and I felt like he was genuine. But I’m reality, he was just trying to get into my pants. I feel violated. And dirty. And scared. The love of my life & I are in an open relationship and we have been together since high school. Idk how I’m going to tell him. I hate this. I’m scared of medicine and illnesses so it makes it even worse. I’m gonna try to look at it in a different light as time goes on. I want to learn from my mistake and hopefully get forgiveness from the man I love and have a monogamous relationship. I really hope he will look past the herpes and still be with me. I also will need to quite drinking so much. I feel like I deserved this. But idek what to think or feel yet.



    You are definitely not alone. I am sorry your first outbreak was painful. I have had herpes for a few years and had a couple of very uncomfortable break outs.
    You should read Dr Kelly’s book. It is inspirational and includes many good tips.



    Thank you so much happyhopeful for responding, my daughter has not had an outbreak in 2 years. I am having her see my dr. On Friday and getting another blood test done. This is so out of my realm of knowledge, and the internet has confusing information. This is killing her emotionally, because she met someone and he ended the relationship when she told him. I just want and need her to be 100% sure if she has it or not. Again thank you so much for responding. How do I contact Dr. Kelly?



    Hi All,

    Back in the beginning of August I was diagnosed with Herpes type two. The way in which I was diagnosed was extremely difficult.
    Prior to meeting my partner who I received HSV2 from I had not been out on a date/relationship in close to a year. Wanted to get back out there again. We met and talked for close to three weeks before becoming intimate.
    A week later I became very ill. High fever, body aches and chills and my lower abdomen hurt. I was send to the hospital after five days of symptoms not subsiding.
    The doctors wanted to keep me over the weekend, do to an Ovarian cyst or and infection in my fallopian tube. They ran me for the most common STD ; trig, clap and gino. all came back negative.
    The reason they kept me over night is that my white blood count was not at the right level. Night two of being in the hospital my throat began to throb and my lymphnos on my neck were extremely swollen.
    Right before leaving the hospital (a totally of 4 days) they ran a viral culture on my throat. With 48hours i received results that my test on my throat came back as herpes.
    Of course once I started reading about Herpes I wanted to know which kind. I took a blood test and it stated in the IgG test was that my index was 7.42 which suggested I had a early infection of HSV 2.
    Two days later I received more results stating that I recently tested positive for HSV 1 and 2 in the IGM phase of the reaction. Also stating both HSV1 and 2 share many cross reacting antigens. Elevated titers to both HSV1 and 2 may represent cross reactive HSV antibodies rather than exposure to both HSV 1 and 2.
    What does that mean? Do I have both? I have no idea. Its been over a month and I have had no vaginal outbreak and no sore throat. My only outbreak was in my throat. Can i pass it orally and vaginally? Or just orally because thats where my only outbreak was.
    I am considering going back to the doctors for more test and more answers. I am just still so confused and frustrated.

    Thank you for reading, i know i was long. Any advise would be greatly appreciated!

    • This topic was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by  Elizabeth.


    Hi, Hope for the future!

    Your concerns are completely valid. It is really confusing and scary especially when it comes to making sure we don’t infect our loved ones.

    The only way you could pass HSV to your baby is if you have a sore that touches them. If you get oral herpes (cold sores), it’s important that you are careful not to kiss your baby when you feel a sore coming on until when it completely healed and gone.

    The only way it can be passed from one person to the other is if the infected area touches the other person.

    Just wash your hands often if you have an outbreak and keep the area away from loved ones and you should be fine.

    Here is a youtube video from Dr. Kelly that might be helpful.

    You should also consider setting up a complimentary call with her to see if some coaching one on one or joining her secret online community would benefit you to get all of the answers you need and to feel less alone.

    I have done both (coaching with her and I am part of the community, too) and it was a game changer for me and how I love myself, how I can now relax around my loved ones, disclose my status to partners and live a fulfilling and stress from herpes free life!

    I hope this info helps! Let me know if you’d like more info.



    Hi, Jamajofe!

    It sounds like your daughter has really gone through it. It must be difficult to see her in pain like she is.

    HSV is tricky because it can show as a false negative in many people from time to time. However, once someone has it, they have it for life. Swab testing is the most accurate way to determine if the antibodies are present. So, if the swab test she had 4 years ago was positive, I would say she does, in fact, have HSV1. That all said, it is medically harmless. The next time she has an outbreak, suggest she go to the doctor right away to get it swab tested again if what you are determining is if the rash is from her HSV or psoriasis.

    Dr. Kelly, the founder of Pink Tent would be a great resource for you and your daughter to ask more in-depth questions and to determine effective ways to decrease symptoms and boost her immune system. Reach out to her. She is a wealth of knowledge.

    I hope your daughter starts feeling better and that you both find deep peace!


    In reply to: Newly diagnosed hsv2


    Thanks for your response. I’m still struggling with minor outbreaks since my initial episode and am managing the discomfort with tea tree oil. I contacted a naturopathic doctor who told me to give it 3 months and experiment with food, supplements etc. and then he can help prescribe a homeopathic remedy if I need some more support. I told a friend and also speak with the PA who initially diagnosed me. I agree that not thinking about it helps since the largest part of our struggle will be managing outbreaks. Take care.


    My 28 year old daughter just told me that she has hvs1 for the last 4 years. She had a swab ttest done days after 1st signs, that came back positive. 6 months later 1st blood test was negative, 1 year later 2nd blood test negative. My daughter also has psoriasis and was having an outbreak at the same time. She has gone 2 years without any signs. At the end of September she had an IBS bout which is linked to her psoriasis and then had a outbreak of rash, which could be genital psoriasis…so how do we know if she really has hvs1…I suggested another blood test with my dr. Does anyone have a suggestion. Internet is confusing with conflicting information.
    Thanks to you all!

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