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    Hi Natalie, I’m sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. This virus is so strange to how it attacks everyone so differently and sometimes does nothing to others. And your story is like many I’ve seen on other forums. You’ve been with your boyfriend for 13 years and just now contracted the virus. You would think it would have happened right in the beginning of your relationship. Have you been taking medications for this or letting your immune system do it’s thing? I’m very interested to see how your outbreaks are. According to a lot of research I’ve been doing, people rarely experience recurring HSV 1 genital outbreaks.



    This is all very new, and still very shocking and confusing for me. I believe I contracted HSV 1 genitally 10 months ago. I felt weird zapping/shooting pains down below, but no sores. The pains lasted all but a day and went away. Time to time I experienced weird stomach sensations similar to a UTI, but did not have a UTI. Long story short, I have not had a typical outbreak. Just very mild irritation is all. 6 months after the initial contact with the person who has HSV 1 orally, I had two IGG blood test that said negative for both HSV 1 and 2. I finally went in and had my irritated spot swabbed which confirmed HSV 1. How could the blood tests not have picked this up? Why are my symptoms mild and not of typical herpes lesions. I feel like I have had symptoms every month since June. But again, my symptoms are strange and not the typical tingling, etc. are swab tests ever wrong? Could this be something else? My physician has put me on valeted, and honestly, I feel no different. I thought HSV 1 genitally rarely had recurring outbreaks. Needing as much information/advice possible. Thank you.



    I have been diagnosed with HSV2 and I am currently experiencing my first outbreak. I was praying that whatever I was experiencing was not HSV2. I feel so broken. My nieces are over (ages 5 & 4) and I trying not to cry in front of them, because as I watch them so innocent, I pray that no one ever puts them through this. I told the guy I am dating and he still says he loves me, but I don’t even know when we can be intimate again. I feel like he doesn’t deserve a girl with a disease. I plan to take medicine everyday…the thought of doing this for the rest of my life (I’m 31) makes me want to cry a river of tears. I am broken. I can never tell my friends and family.


    Hey everyone, I’m 22 years old and I recently found that I have genital herpes symptoms. I have been dating my current boyfriend for about several months now and I had him checked for STD’s before we did anything sexual. 6 days ago we were grinding, no intercourse, and a few days later I had the symptoms. I know for sure he gave it to me and it hurts to think that the guy I care about gave me an incurable illness. He denies having it and I haven’t told him. I’m scared. I’ve only slept with one person my whole life as I’m so scared of getting STD’s and now I’ve got this to worry about. I’m in complete shock! I haven’t told anyone about this, and I don’t want to because I know I will be looked down on. I just had my first outbreak and I’ve heard it’s supposed to be the worst so here’s hoping it gets better here on out. I’m scared about having to deal with these symptoms for the rest of my life, and I’m so young as it is. I’m just praying that it gets better, I don’t know what to do. Has anyone on here tried antiviral drugs? Do they help at all? Also, can anyone please tell me how to deal with the symptoms? Thanks!



    I’m a single mother two time divorcee, five years single but still had a few partners in my single years (all men). My last partner (a man) was more than 8 months ago. I hadn’t had insurance for 5 years – due to it not being offered in any of my full time jobs, but this time, I was able to receive health insurance. I decided to go for a check up and get tested. I requested for the complete run down. Herpes included. Fast forward a week later and my doctor called me in for a “consultation”. I immediately thought my HPV had come back and I needed to get my pre-cancer cells zapped out again. But the news was far worse than that. Turns out I was right about having HPV again, this time not cancerous, but I was also diagnosed with HSV-2. I was DEVASTATED. I hadn’t experienced any major outbreaks, but I sort of had a gut feeling based on having a small blister on my genitals. I didn’t want to think about it, so I quickly wrote the thought off. After all, I was told in the past, the effects of Herpes 2 comes rather quickly. Boy, was I wrong. Anyway, I treated it, but then another appeared and I treated that as well.

    I asked my doctor if the blister was caused by Herpes 2, he said no. In fact, any question I had about this virus, he quickly brushed me off and told me to live life “as I have” before quickly ushering me out of the door. I was angry, I was sad, I was confused. I hadn’t had sex in over 8 months and it was someone I’d known and had been dating for over three years. I’d finally dumped him and this was his parting gift? I was so numb I couldn’t even cry. I was a ball of mixed emotions.

    I have a huge crush on a woman at my job and she feels the same for me. The moment I saw her, I zinged. Long story short about us, I’m open about my sexuality and she isn’t, so there have been several talks about risking it all for love. I was more than willing to wait for her to open up, I was following my heart and allowing my true feelings to take over. She changed a lot of things for me and I for her. But… My immediate thought process once the diagnosis had sunk in was, “welp it’s over.” “Any future with her is done. All bets are off. I’m not worth the risk of her coming out, let alone being with. I’m damaged goods. She’ll never understand or accept this.” And that’s when I cried. Since then, I have avoided her. We still keep in touch but there’s zero flirtation and talks about going out on a date. I don’t entertain her statements about being in a relationship with a woman. Things are just not the same. I don’t feel the need to disclose my status to her as we are nothing more than work buddies and to be honest I would really like to be private with my journey.

    But I am still so confused about dating someone of the same sex when I actually do find that person. I’ve done so much research since finding out about my status, and I couldn’t find much information about the likelihood of passing it on to a woman. I’m still trying to cope with having the virus. And now I have to be extra careful because of my HPV. I did learn that stress causes outbreaks and I noticed that every time I think about having it, I can feel my skin flaring up and my buttocks itching. I’m happy about being in the know about my status, as I also learned that doctors don’t normally check for it unless it’s requested, I learned that more people have it then we care to think about. And more than likely still won’t get tested. I’m slowly building my confidence back up and working up the nerve to share it on my diary blog. I’m taking it one day at a time. But I’m here to give and receive support. There are days I feel fine and there are days I feel defeated. I keep a smile on my face either way, but the thought is still buried in the back of my mind, quickly surfacing to the front. I’m now in no rush to date, again, but any information on transmitting the disease to a woman would be helpful. Thanks so much for reading my entry, and an even bigger thank you for allowing me to read your personal stories.



    Hi Natalie, I’m so sorry to read about your diagnosis. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 about two weeks ago and since then I’ve done a ton of reading. My doctor wasn’t much help to me when I asked him questions. But one of the things I learned is that once you and your partner have it, it’s in your blood and you can’t pass it to each other. I’m not sure how true that is, and I am still trying to understand it all myself. I also read that it’s extremely important to be abstinent from sex during an outbreak because you can develop sores in other places if exposed to the already open sores. I hope I am explaining it right. For me this is all still so confusing, and I’m trying to take it one day at a time, with the coping stage. I also learned that stress can cause outbreaks as well. It’s a hard thing to do, avoid stress but once we know something, that information makes it harder for us not to stress. I hope everything gets better for you however. I feel like this is a time for you and your boyfriend to really bond and get through this journey together. You both can learn about the virus more and support each other. I hope it all works out for you Natalie, if you need anyone to talk to, you can always reach out to me here. Thanks so much for sharing your story.



    I will start by saying I have NEVER told anyone my truth and have never shared with anyone other than my gynecologist. I am hoping that by telling my story here I will find the confidence to share it with a potential partner. My reason for not sharing has been embarrassment and fear of being looked at differently or rejected. Also, I don’t want “friends” telling other “friends” or anyone else knowing my personal business. For example one of my best friends who I usually confide in made me aware years ago of another mutual friend who was devastated by a diagnoses. I am pretty sure it was herpes and I wanted to reach out when I was diagnosed but I couldn’t because I wasn’t supposed to know she had it. (crazy huh) She has since been in an amazing long term relationship and I want guidance on how to share with a potential partner and what her ups and downs were but I can’t ask.

    My Truth…
    I have probably had herpes well over 25 years but was diagnosed almost 4 years ago. As Dr. Kelly states in her book, Drs. sometimes brush it off for various reasons. I remember telling my gynecologist in my late 20’s (I’m early 50s now) that I had the strangest symptoms. Whenever I got my period I would get a rash on my right hip. He lightly said “Oh it’s probably just herpes” and moved on. I now know that it was the symptoms of herpes. Honestly I am glad I wasn’t made aware then because I don’t know how my life would have turned out or how I would have handled it but I often wonder if I have exposed anyone else unknowingly.
    Originally I diagnosed myself. I have always been conscious of my health, getting yearly exams including checks for STDs. I ended up getting a cold sore under my nose and went to the pharmacy to get an ointment. Because I am also indecisive I couldn’t figure out what to get so I asked the pharmacist. He informed me it was a virus that was internal and I should try the Abreva. What…. an internal virus! I turned to google when I got home and realized the images staring at me on the screen looked very familiar to what I experienced monthly on my thigh. Yes I said monthly! The blessing is I don’t have vaginal issues, my symptoms are sacral meaning I “only” get a small patch of bumps on my thigh or on my buttocks.
    My marriage was causing severe stress for unrelated reasons and my symptoms were out of control. Fast and frequent when one would leave, another would come. I had to confide in someone so on my next visit to a new gynecologist I stated “I need to tell you something….I think I have herpes” His reply was ….is that all? What? Long story short I had a blood test done to find out I have HSV types 1 and 2.
    The original plan was to take Valtrex only when I had an outbreak but they were too frequent. My doctor couldn’t believe that I experienced them once or more a month. I have been on suppressive therapy for almost 3 years and it has been a God send.
    I have been following a cleanse that has helped me to lose weight ONLY to find out that the foods required cause outbreaks! Protein bars, meal replacement shakes, protein powder, and nuts. I have been eating this way DAILY almost 2 years. By reading Dr. Kelly’s book I know this is a definite no no. I am so lost at this point I don’t know what to do or eat. Strenous exercise…..what? I am now on a journey to heal from within and following Dr. Kelly’s book. I do know my emotions trigger outbreaks. I can feel the tension in my back when something or someone gets on my nerves or I get stressed. I have found solace in the PinkTent website and am Optimistic that I can eliminate my symptoms altogether.

    I have met a man that I am quite interested in. We have similar marital situations and have been communicating well over a year and have a chemistry that you know sex is forthcoming. We’ve even talked about it. I have to tell him of my issue but I don’t know how, where to begin, or what to even say. The caveat is we work together. I am terrified of how he will respond. My fear is having a coworker knowing something so personal about me if it doesn’t work out.

    Any suggestions or guidance is appreciated!



    I know your anger, shame, embarrassment, injustice and defeat. I once was right there. I did not live a life of abstinence and stayed std free, but I allowed my thoughts to overcome me for about 6 years of marriage and I stayed stressed to the max, angry at where we live and how we were living in debt that my immune system caved and my husband who had zero idea he had the virus, passed it to me. I freaked! What began to change my mind and my thoughts about this disease was having a phone conversation with Dr. Kelly. She was awesome and I began to see that I was making every outbreak worse by my angry thoughts. I began to change my thoughts about the outbreaks and toward my husband and toward myself, I began to eat according to Dr. Kelly’s book (A GODSEND) and I stay outbreak free 97% of the year with acupuncture and chiropractic care. I do not use medications at all. I’ve forgiven my husband and I’ve forgiven myself. I am not happy I have it, but I stopped hating it and hating my life for having it. MUCH LOVE to you!



    I was diagnosed with Genital HSV1 awhile back In April 2018 I believe and it have been a tough journey, when I first found out about it I thought I had razor burn so when I went to the doctor and got my results I didn’t believe them because I had previously been for a scare and the doctor diagnosed me for Herpes then called back and said she made a mistake I was emotionally broken and couldn’t believe I contracted something incurable second time with a std I was devastated I did have a partner who I told and luckily he was on my side still is I only have him and my mother in my corner and I still become extremely lonely and do find myself in isolation I have had several outbreaks since I believe it’s because of my diet I’ve started to pay attention to that and take it a lot more serious after my most recent outbreak lasted for a month and days I talked to my mother and decided to take it head on let the leasions dry on there own and heal the pain was so excruciating I found myself crying a river became very depressed and isolated I couldn’t walk I had to call out of work for a week so the outbreak is clearing up wonderfully now I try to stay away from arginine and consume lots of lysine I have lysine vitamins vitamins b 12 stress complex and valtrex I was in a desperate search for a support group here in Baltimore we don’t have any I told my mother If I was suicidal I would have tried to kill myself (but I’m not) I’m a Warrior and I’m going to take control of my situation I try to stay in good spirits I don’t give this situation negative energy but sometimes I do feel defeated and that I’ll never win the battle my doctor is extremely nonchalant and broke me down even more but I’m very happy to have found this page and this support group sorry for this long post but I have been waiting to interact with people like me for so long it feels refreshing to tell my story so if any tips on how to manage naturally (teas essential oils etc ) please enlighten me I’m also going to purchase the book dr kelly has



    So I was just diagnosed with HSV-1 today. I’ve been researching online to see how this will affect my life now and I have several questions I’m hoping someone here can help me answer.

    1) My initial outbreak was a tiny ulcer on my genitals. I went into the clinic the day after my initial symptoms and got anti-virals and it subsided after a few days. I haven’t had any signs of herpes in my mouth…I don’t think. I had a small bump on the inside of my lower lip but it didn’t hurt in the slightest and went away after a day or so and these bumps are something I have had waaaay before my initial outbreak. Could these bumps in my mouth be from HSV-1 all this time and I just had no idea until it reached my genitals? I guess my first question is, how obvious are oral herpes outbreaks? Could that have been one? And since I have the HSV-1 virus does that mean I will inevitably have an oral outbreak?

    2) My second question (the one that originally brought me here) is about how to have sex now. I’m not gonna lie, this diagnosis has probably stopped me from having sex for quite a while just because of the mental component, but I want to be well educated on this topic. In my research I came across the information that non-spermicidal lubricant often has nonoxynol-9 (N-9) which irritates the vagina and can cause outbreaks. I was incredibly irritated to find that its nearly impossible to find information about what products I can use that DO NOT have N-9. I found a certain lubricant that is recommended for people with herpes but I’m more curious about condoms, or condom brands that don’t use N-9. What does “natural” condom mean? Will I always have to use non-lubricated condoms? I know these questions might be dumb but I’m just having a hard time coping with this and I’m finding it stressful that a virus this common is so hard to study 🙁

    3) I think one of the hardest most stressful parts about this diagnosis is how to tell my friends and family. I told my twin sister who was very supportive and awesome about it, but I have no idea how to approach it with my friends. I don’t want to share drinks or lipstick or any of that with them anymore to avoid the risk of passing the virus onto them. I realize that this is low risk but I’m trying to be careful. Have any of you told your friends? If so, how? And are there any tips you can give me? I love my friends and I think they’d be supportive but I’m just terrified that they’re going to look at me differently, even though they’re well aware of my sexual history (girl talk and all that). I’m just worried about the social stigma surrounding the virus and I don’t want my friends to see me as “dirty” or a risk to them in any way.

    Sorry I know this post is long and I didn’t even realize I had this much to say until I started typing. Thanks for sticking with me this long. Any advice will help! I’m so glad I’ve been able to join this community and read your guys’s stories. It really helps knowing I’m not alone in this. Thanks!


    • This topic was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by  cowgirl222.


    Just diagnosed yesterday, I have been with my partner about 4 months and we have been having sex unprotected.. I’ve never had an outbreak until last week, my normal STD testing has been normal . He does not know yet because I wanted to wait to find out for sure before making him panic. One night we had sex, he gave me oral with whipped cream and literally two days later, I am having what my doctor has told me is an outbreak . What the chances that he has this considering we’ve been having unprotected sex for months ? What’s the chances he has given this to me? Since being with him unprotected I’ve had two uti’s and now this, however my std testing all was negative but i was Not tested for herpes considering I’ve never had an outbreak or sores. I havent seen anything on him orally . But i feel There is no way he doesn’t have it we’ve been having unprotected sex four months and this is the first time I’ve ever experienced anything like this. He still has no symptom or idea of this but after i follow Up with my doctor i want to tell him . I want To tell him now but I think I should wait til I know more.



    Sweet Faela–

    Thank you for your willingness to share your story. You are right, dear one– you are not alone. However, if can feel that way when we have our first outbreak when we get the diagnosis and move forward.

    I am glad you have your fiancee to help you through the pains.

    Typically, the first outbreak is by far the very worst. That has been the case for most people. The emotions you expressed above are very reminiscent of how I and others I know have felt. So, I hope you are comforted to learn that in that regard you are not alone, either.

    There are many things you can do to help decrease the number of outbreaks and it all revolves around boosting your immune system and keeping it on an optimal level, stress management, knowing what your personal triggers are ( foods, stress, hormone change, etc).

    Read The Herpes drop down section of this website for a lot of great info.

    I hope your pains and worry has subsided.

    Sending love


    In reply to: HSV1 and disclosure


    Hi Renata-

    All great questions. Sadly, there is not a ton of valid info about herpes because it is very common and not terribly worrisome.

    The only way to tell where you have HSV1 is by having an outbreak. From the sounds of it, you are an asymptomatic carrier of HSV, which means you carry the virus but do not experience symptoms. 85% of the population who has herpes are asymptomatic carriers and the majority of the population has the virus. So, you’re not alone.

    HSV1 can be oral, oral and genital or just genital.

    My best advice would be to tell partners what you have had a blood test and HSV1, most commonly ‘cold sores’ showed positive but that you’ve never experienced an outbreak. This does not mean that you can’t pass it along, unfortunately, but the risk is lower.

    Check out The Facts on the Herpes drop down on this website, it’s very informative (if you haven’t already). Also, I really like this video. It’s helpful, too.

    I hope this helps.

    • This reply was modified 4 months, 4 weeks ago by  Happyhopeful.


    I can’t tell you the comfort it brings me seeing that I’m not by myself. It started out with what I thought was a run of the mill yeast infection, and a weird burning lesion on my anus that has since become my most painful issue.
    I was in so much pain last night I ended up at the hospital, there was cramping, bloating stabbing, burning, dizziness, nausea.Pretty much you name it and it was happening to my vagina. I can’t even sit in the bath tub or let water hit my vagina, it’s too painful and it forces this response that makes it feel like I’m being kicked over and over again.
    The wait at the ER last night was the worst pain of my life, the worst moment and I didn’t even get to see a doctor. My beloved fiancée held me for six hours as I cried in crippling pain, begging for help. I felt so alone and isolated and like no one cared about me.
    We have an amazing local std clinic, and they see people quickly. So I went there and after some assessment the nurse said that she thought I had genital herpes and prescribed me with valtrax just to be safe. After all the research I’ve done since getting home, I agree with her diagnosis and hope it’s correct so that this medicine will take my pain.
    I’ve been with my partner exclusively for five years, and no one else so this diagnosis is coming out of no where. It’s a huge surprise.
    He’s incredibly supportive and would love and care for me no matter what, but I still feel terrible. Frightened that these outbreaks won’t ever stop, frightened that it’s going to hurt forever and that the valtrax is always going to make me feel tired and nauseous…..
    I’m scared….
    I’m scared that it’s always going to be like this and that I’ll lose everything, my future husband, my career that I’ve worked so hard to build, my sex life, my physical capabilities.
    I know in reality that won’t happen, but it just feels so frightening right now.


    In reply to: A new beginning


    Oh sweet girl. Let me just say that all of this resonates with me. I was diagnosed in March of 2018 after I started dating an ex (whom I knew was really controlling and had some seriously dark energy), and I too felt very overwhelmed, angry, violated, etc. And my initial outbreak was very painful as well, it was everything I could do to even make it off the couch to get the kids to daycare in the mornings, and it was extremely painful to do anything. BUT….and I want you to hear this….in this diagnosis I have found so much SOUL HEALING. I am learning how to honor my body, and respect and love myself. I have learned how to listen to my body as I learn to identify my triggers. I too rarely doctor for anything (because I don’t need to) and to receive this diagnosis and start on the anti-virals (and find a dosage that was helpful to me) was very overwhelming. But you will learn how to manage symptoms, and you will find wisdom in the wounding in this. It is a journey deep into self love, self forgiveness, and self care. I’m so glad that you found this place to land where we can love on, encourage and come alongside of you. Sending so much love, healing and light your way today. XOXOXO

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