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    I was diagnosed with Genital HSV1 awhile back In April 2018 I believe and it have been a tough journey, when I first found out about it I thought I had razor burn so when I went to the doctor and got my results I didn’t believe them because I had previously been for a scare and the doctor diagnosed me for Herpes then called back and said she made a mistake I was emotionally broken and couldn’t believe I contracted something incurable second time with a std I was devastated I did have a partner who I told and luckily he was on my side still is I only have him and my mother in my corner and I still become extremely lonely and do find myself in isolation I have had several outbreaks since I believe it’s because of my diet I’ve started to pay attention to that and take it a lot more serious after my most recent outbreak lasted for a month and days I talked to my mother and decided to take it head on let the leasions dry on there own and heal the pain was so excruciating I found myself crying a river became very depressed and isolated I couldn’t walk I had to call out of work for a week so the outbreak is clearing up wonderfully now I try to stay away from arginine and consume lots of lysine I have lysine vitamins vitamins b 12 stress complex and valtrex I was in a desperate search for a support group here in Baltimore we don’t have any I told my mother If I was suicidal I would have tried to kill myself (but I’m not) I’m a Warrior and I’m going to take control of my situation I try to stay in good spirits I don’t give this situation negative energy but sometimes I do feel defeated and that I’ll never win the battle my doctor is extremely nonchalant and broke me down even more but I’m very happy to have found this page and this support group sorry for this long post but I have been waiting to interact with people like me for so long it feels refreshing to tell my story so if any tips on how to manage naturally (teas essential oils etc ) please enlighten me I’m also going to purchase the book dr kelly has



    I was diagnosed and dumped on Christmas Eve. I get it. Everything is going around like crazy in your head. I decided to talk with Dr. Kelly on her free consultation. However, before talking with her I joined blogs, positive singles and I joined a meetup group in the area I am from. Not ready to date but I found that it was a great place to be open and unashamed. I told everyone because I needed to I think. It helped me. I have one friend that needs more time with the the information. She could tell I was upset so when she asked how I was doing I said not great. We had a great open talk. Remember a lot of people have it they just haven’t been diagnosed. Lots of misinformation out there. Someone from postive singles told me to come here. I got her book and it’s helping. We are a small tribe but we will get through it together.



    So I was just diagnosed with HSV-1 today. I’ve been researching online to see how this will affect my life now and I have several questions I’m hoping someone here can help me answer.

    1) My initial outbreak was a tiny ulcer on my genitals. I went into the clinic the day after my initial symptoms and got anti-virals and it subsided after a few days. I haven’t had any signs of herpes in my mouth…I don’t think. I had a small bump on the inside of my lower lip but it didn’t hurt in the slightest and went away after a day or so and these bumps are something I have had waaaay before my initial outbreak. Could these bumps in my mouth be from HSV-1 all this time and I just had no idea until it reached my genitals? I guess my first question is, how obvious are oral herpes outbreaks? Could that have been one? And since I have the HSV-1 virus does that mean I will inevitably have an oral outbreak?

    2) My second question (the one that originally brought me here) is about how to have sex now. I’m not gonna lie, this diagnosis has probably stopped me from having sex for quite a while just because of the mental component, but I want to be well educated on this topic. In my research I came across the information that non-spermicidal lubricant often has nonoxynol-9 (N-9) which irritates the vagina and can cause outbreaks. I was incredibly irritated to find that its nearly impossible to find information about what products I can use that DO NOT have N-9. I found a certain lubricant that is recommended for people with herpes but I’m more curious about condoms, or condom brands that don’t use N-9. What does “natural” condom mean? Will I always have to use non-lubricated condoms? I know these questions might be dumb but I’m just having a hard time coping with this and I’m finding it stressful that a virus this common is so hard to study 🙁

    3) I think one of the hardest most stressful parts about this diagnosis is how to tell my friends and family. I told my twin sister who was very supportive and awesome about it, but I have no idea how to approach it with my friends. I don’t want to share drinks or lipstick or any of that with them anymore to avoid the risk of passing the virus onto them. I realize that this is low risk but I’m trying to be careful. Have any of you told your friends? If so, how? And are there any tips you can give me? I love my friends and I think they’d be supportive but I’m just terrified that they’re going to look at me differently, even though they’re well aware of my sexual history (girl talk and all that). I’m just worried about the social stigma surrounding the virus and I don’t want my friends to see me as “dirty” or a risk to them in any way.

    Sorry I know this post is long and I didn’t even realize I had this much to say until I started typing. Thanks for sticking with me this long. Any advice will help! I’m so glad I’ve been able to join this community and read your guys’s stories. It really helps knowing I’m not alone in this. Thanks!


    • This topic was modified 2 weeks, 2 days ago by  cowgirl222.


    Just diagnosed yesterday, I have been with my partner about 4 months and we have been having sex unprotected.. I’ve never had an outbreak until last week, my normal STD testing has been normal . He does not know yet because I wanted to wait to find out for sure before making him panic. One night we had sex, he gave me oral with whipped cream and literally two days later, I am having what my doctor has told me is an outbreak . What the chances that he has this considering we’ve been having unprotected sex for months ? What’s the chances he has given this to me? Since being with him unprotected I’ve had two uti’s and now this, however my std testing all was negative but i was Not tested for herpes considering I’ve never had an outbreak or sores. I havent seen anything on him orally . But i feel There is no way he doesn’t have it we’ve been having unprotected sex four months and this is the first time I’ve ever experienced anything like this. He still has no symptom or idea of this but after i follow Up with my doctor i want to tell him . I want To tell him now but I think I should wait til I know more.



    Well here I am. Never thought I would be here. I am so happy to have support for what feels like the longest week of my life. The past six months has been the happiest and saddest I have ever been. Let me start with I was always a chubby girl. In June I decided to take my life back. Started eating clean and lost 75lbs. I was so excited about my new body I decided to join a online dating app. I met the man of my dreams and everything finally started to piece together. This is what I had been working so hard for. As the relationship continued we decided to take it to the next level. We both had told each other we loved each other and wanted to start a life. My crazy work life took a toll on a very new relationship. Eventually sadly we parted. I was devastated. I felt so sick that my mother eventually had to take me to the doctor. She did a pelvic exam and three days later the tests results where in. I had two std’s luckily both antibiotics would fix. I notified him and at first he was so supportive and we actually got back together. I said we would have to wait to be romantic until my recheck. Just to make sure we where both ok. Last Friday was the recheck. Christmas Eve I got the call from the doctor HSV-2. I was angry, sad, hurt, ashamed, scared, and sadly not surprised. I texted him to call over and over with no answer. Finally I had to text him the news. This made him call me. Only to hear anger and contempt on the line when I was at the most vulnerable. He said he was going to his own doctor how this was my doing and it’s pretty funny how I just keep calling up with one more thing. Now I can’t help thinking that my losing the weight put me in the arms of someone that never would have looked at me before. The only thing getting me through is this forum and of course Cher, “ Do you believe in life after Love?” The answer is HELL YES


    In reply to: A new beginning


    Oh sweet girl. Let me just say that all of this resonates with me. I was diagnosed in March of 2018 after I started dating an ex (whom I knew was really controlling and had some seriously dark energy), and I too felt very overwhelmed, angry, violated, etc. And my initial outbreak was very painful as well, it was everything I could do to even make it off the couch to get the kids to daycare in the mornings, and it was extremely painful to do anything. BUT….and I want you to hear this….in this diagnosis I have found so much SOUL HEALING. I am learning how to honor my body, and respect and love myself. I have learned how to listen to my body as I learn to identify my triggers. I too rarely doctor for anything (because I don’t need to) and to receive this diagnosis and start on the anti-virals (and find a dosage that was helpful to me) was very overwhelming. But you will learn how to manage symptoms, and you will find wisdom in the wounding in this. It is a journey deep into self love, self forgiveness, and self care. I’m so glad that you found this place to land where we can love on, encourage and come alongside of you. Sending so much love, healing and light your way today. XOXOXO



    Yesterday I was diagnosed with genital herpes and here is my story. I am a 19 year old student at Bloomsburg University of PA. I have become quite a drinker since high school and have been permiscuous and negligent. I slept with someone I trusted, and he told me he was recently checked and is clean. Two days later I started getting painful symptoms. For some reason my initial outbreak was so severe that I went to the hospital. I have sores on my anus, butt, and inside/outside of vagina. I also feel sick and can’t get rid of this awful headache. The headache is like the worst I’ve ever had. I can’t even use the bathroom without crying from the pain of urine and wiping. The part that bothers me is that the man who gave me this disease was my “friend” and he was super nice and caring and I felt like he was genuine. But I’m reality, he was just trying to get into my pants. I feel violated. And dirty. And scared. The love of my life & I are in an open relationship and we have been together since high school. Idk how I’m going to tell him. I hate this. I’m scared of medicine and illnesses so it makes it even worse. I’m gonna try to look at it in a different light as time goes on. I want to learn from my mistake and hopefully get forgiveness from the man I love and have a monogamous relationship. I really hope he will look past the herpes and still be with me. I also will need to quite drinking so much. I feel like I deserved this. But idek what to think or feel yet.



    Hi All,

    Back in the beginning of August I was diagnosed with Herpes type two. The way in which I was diagnosed was extremely difficult.
    Prior to meeting my partner who I received HSV2 from I had not been out on a date/relationship in close to a year. Wanted to get back out there again. We met and talked for close to three weeks before becoming intimate.
    A week later I became very ill. High fever, body aches and chills and my lower abdomen hurt. I was send to the hospital after five days of symptoms not subsiding.
    The doctors wanted to keep me over the weekend, do to an Ovarian cyst or and infection in my fallopian tube. They ran me for the most common STD ; trig, clap and gino. all came back negative.
    The reason they kept me over night is that my white blood count was not at the right level. Night two of being in the hospital my throat began to throb and my lymphnos on my neck were extremely swollen.
    Right before leaving the hospital (a totally of 4 days) they ran a viral culture on my throat. With 48hours i received results that my test on my throat came back as herpes.
    Of course once I started reading about Herpes I wanted to know which kind. I took a blood test and it stated in the IgG test was that my index was 7.42 which suggested I had a early infection of HSV 2.
    Two days later I received more results stating that I recently tested positive for HSV 1 and 2 in the IGM phase of the reaction. Also stating both HSV1 and 2 share many cross reacting antigens. Elevated titers to both HSV1 and 2 may represent cross reactive HSV antibodies rather than exposure to both HSV 1 and 2.
    What does that mean? Do I have both? I have no idea. Its been over a month and I have had no vaginal outbreak and no sore throat. My only outbreak was in my throat. Can i pass it orally and vaginally? Or just orally because thats where my only outbreak was.
    I am considering going back to the doctors for more test and more answers. I am just still so confused and frustrated.

    Thank you for reading, i know i was long. Any advise would be greatly appreciated!

    • This topic was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by  Elizabeth.

    In reply to: Newly diagnosed hsv2


    Thanks for your response. I’m still struggling with minor outbreaks since my initial episode and am managing the discomfort with tea tree oil. I contacted a naturopathic doctor who told me to give it 3 months and experiment with food, supplements etc. and then he can help prescribe a homeopathic remedy if I need some more support. I told a friend and also speak with the PA who initially diagnosed me. I agree that not thinking about it helps since the largest part of our struggle will be managing outbreaks. Take care.


    In reply to: Newly diagnosed hsv2


    Hey! I was also diagnosed 2 weeks ago and had a major outbreak then took the antibiotics. I have a very small outbreak of one sore currently and I was wondering if this is to be expected. I have reading about the nutrition and supplements out there and have started paying attention to those. Also I’m experimenting with treating this sore naturally without pharmaceuticals. I’m nervous to find out how my virus will manifest but that figure that may take several months to figure out. I’m trying to keep stress low, pay attention to nutrition and not worry about it too much. Let me know if you want to chat. Nicola



    Hi. I was diagnosed with HSV2 two weeks ago after I took a trip to Mexico with a man who I thought had real dating potential for me. There is not much worse than getting your first herpes outbreak on vacation in Mexico where access to modern medicine is slim. I am not sure if I got HSV from him and am trying not to focus on who I got it from. I’m 39 and luckily went to a very supportive health care professional. Needless to say he has vanished from my life (probably not entirely due to me having herpes). My first outbreak was awful and prolonged due to the length of time it took me to get antibiotics. I’m nervous to have this condition and how to manage it, and am not sure what to expect. Two weeks after my first outbreak I feel like I have one blister again so am not sure if I can expect a constant outbreak for a while until my body adjusts to the condition, or I learn how to better manage it. Hence why I am seeking support.


    In reply to: Newly diagnosed hsv2


    Hi, NursieDx-

    I am so sorry you have been dealing with frequent OBs. You came to the right place to get support and credible answers from other women who are on this journey with you. You are not alone.

    I am not a doctor but I have researched a lot about herpes since my diagnosis. Here are the straightforward answers to your questions based on my experience and learning from Dr. Kelly.

    Is it normal to have OB’s so close together? Everyone is different. The short answer is, yes. When you get your first OB it takes time for some people to decrease the frequency. The best way to control OBs to pay attention to possible triggers; foods, stress, physical trauma (sex, shaving/waxing/yoni steaming/heat, etc), a compromised immune system. The best way to know if your OBs are triggered by something is trial and error and also listening to your body. If your gut is saying ‘hold off on waxing for a bit, listen.

    Here is a great resource created by Dr. Kelly about triggers, statistics, self-care, etc. It’s packed with great info!

    My advice would be to take up a meditation/ yoga practice as a first step towards self-care. The most beautiful silver lining of this diagnosis is realizing ways to love ourselves more deeply. Meditation, dancing, yoga, singing, creativity and feel good activities helps to lower stress and amp up our JOY and self-love. Check out youtube for guided meditations. Choose something for mood, relaxation, joy.

    Sex is a trigger for many women. Try to avoid rough sex and… invite coconut oil into your life as your NEW BFF! Pure, organic coconut oil can be used as a lubricant during sex, for soothing (add a few drops of pure lavender or tea tree oil).

    ARGININE ALERT! Arginine is an amino acid that is in many protein powders, all nuts, and many seeds, condoms, lubricants. Pay close attention to this amino acid as it helps herpes to flare up. It is a major trigger for many.

    LYSINE is your friend! Lysine, on the contrary, is an amino acid that helps suppress the herpes virus and other viruses too. It is magic! I would suggest getting a Lysine supplement and a health food store ASAP and start taking it in the mornings as part of your self-care regimen.

    ZINC! Zinc is a game changer for many people with herpes because having a lowered immune system is a trigger for many. Start taking zinc to kick-start your immune system back into high gear.

    I hope these items help.

    As for your docs acting like it’s no biggie…. grrr… I get that. It’s hurtful and frustrating because it feels devastating and confusing when we are going through it and trying to get our bearings after diagnosis. However, relatively speaking, once the dust settles and you learn your bodies rhythm with your OBs it really is something that is manageable, I promise. Docs are nonchalant about it because it is SO incredibly common and poses no real medical threat. It’s biggest medical upset is the mental stress, shame and sadness we feel when we are diagnosed… but that all softens, I promise.

    You have asked some really important questions, darling and you might want to consider scheduling a call with Dr. Kelly (first call is free) to see if you might be a good fit to join her community and course to learn all of the facts you’ll want to know. There is also a secret FB group. And/or talk to her about her one-on-one coaching program. It is really empowering and helpful. It was a life-changer for many of us.

    Hang in there. You will be OK.



    Hi 🙂
    I have been recently diagnoised with hsv2 in August! I was shocked but with the pain I was in I definitely knew something wasn’t right down there! Ive so many questions since my diagnosis!! I’ve had a small outbreak now every few weeks since. Not painful, very small and cleared up once I started valtrex! Is this normal? To have outbreaks so close? Will they calm down?
    I am starting to try look out for myself more and stop getting so stressed!
    Can I do all the normal things like wax? Will sex always cause a flair up and how long after the fever blister is gone do you have to wait to have sex ..Ect? There is no or conflicting information were I am living and doctors have been so laid back with a “it’s a no big deal” attitude when it is for me! I really don’t want to be searching google anymore because that has made my stress so much worse!!

    Thanks in advance for the replies <3


    Hope for the future

    I have just been diagnosed with HSV2 and have a 1 year old baby who I am breastfeeding. I am feeling a bit down because I don’t want to infect my baby and wanted to know if infection is possible through everyday interactions holding, kissing, bathing etc. Or if she scratches me could she be infected? Or if she bites my breasts. I just want to make sure I am doing everything to protect her but I don’t want to feel like an alien around her 🙁 please help

    Also at every outbreak am I going to have sores turn up on different parts of my body or it always be in my genitals?


    In reply to: HSV & HPV


    Hello, Learningtogrow!

    I love your username by the way. It exemplifies your desire and willingness to love yourself because of, despite your diagnoses and all around. Loving ourselves deeply is most important when facing all issues around our sexual health and journey as a woman.

    Brava. 🙂

    My thoughts on your questions are… FIRST, you are not alone. According to the American Sexual Health Association, 80 percent of sexually active people contract HPV it at some point in their lives. And, an estimated 1 in 6 adults has genital herpes, with around 300,000 new infections diagnosed each year.

    This all said both diagnoses can feel very lonely, I understand. I’ve been there.

    I love your question; “How do you build yourself back up to be a confident woman?”

    For me, when I am doing the things I love to do I feel sexy, confident and vibrant. What do you love to do? Paint, dance, write, travel? Also, after my HSV diagnosis, I researched credible sources to educate myself on the triggers (foods, stress, illness) and I made it my goal to keep myself in the most healthy state of mind and body I could. This includes cutting toxic people, jobs and situations out of my life. I can tell you that since my diagnosis I have been the happiest I have ever been in my life after the dust and shame settled and I started allowing only good vibes, foods and people into my life.

    For myself and some of the women who I am now friends with who also have been diagnosed, we found our deepest self-love, confidence and clarity as a result of being ‘gifted’ this little infection.

    If you have thought at all about working with Dr. Kelly or exploring any of the programs she offers I would say, DO IT! She offers many great ways to feel your best, eliminate shame, control outbreaks and live a confident and wonderful life!

    I am sending you a virtual hug!

    You are not alone.

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