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    In reply to: Partners


    I am right there with you. I’m in a polyamorous relationship with 2 people (thrupple) and I also have a casual partner outside of that relationship (with him I always use protection).

    I was just diagnosed 3 days ago and I haven’t told any of them yet. I’ve just been isolating and avoiding everyone while I try to process.

    As hard as it is to not wonder where or when you got it, it’s probably best to let that go. At the end of the day either of them could have infected you without knowing, or you could have had it for years and given it to them (or not).

    As I prepare to have the conversation with one of my partners tonight, I will stay away from playing the blame game and hope he will too. He’s the one I’m most worried about since he and I have been having unprotected sex for almost a year now. I’m not going to lie, I’ve considered keeping it to myself because I’m really worried about his reaction but I care about him and his health too much to do this. I hope he can help me figure out how to break the news to our girlfriend next week 😞


    I was talking to two different people when I was diagnosed with herpes .. I don’t know how to tell them cause I don’t know which of the two have it to me . Neither one has mentioned anything I don’t know what to do I’m so sad and feel so alone! Any positive notes would be heatedly appreciated thanks in advance ! I’m glad I was able to find this group of women !


    Hi Jas , I was diagnosed Genital Herpes 1 2016. When I was diagnosed, they gave me acyclovir and after that I only had 3 outbreaks for the first year. After that year I notice my outbreaks been coming every month. I went back to the doctor , she dose it up but still it wasn’t working had a lot of sores every month no days off. Again went back, she didn’t know why it wasn’t working so she gave me stronger one called Valacyclovir 1 gram, now I don’t get a lot of outbreaks and if I do I get less sores than back than.
    Stress plays huge role too well for me and negativity.


    Hi there,

    I posted a few months ago after having my first genital outbreak. My gynecologist almost immediately diagnosed me with genital herpes and I went through the next few weeks feeling depressed, confused and upset. However when I got my blood test results back, I was informed that I tested positive for HSV-1 but negative for HSV-2. My gynecologist said that I may never have another genital outbreak again and I was extremely relieved. However, a few months later I had a second smaller outbreak. Now that I am with a new parter(who is very understanding and supportive) I want to know more about how this is transmitted and how to protect him without affecting our sex life. I have never had a cold sore on my mouth but from what I understand that is where HSV-1 should be showing up. There is not much information online about genital HSV-1 outbreaks so I was hoping someone on here would know more about it… Can my partner contract HSV-1 from giving me oral sex? Or from having vaginal intercourse? From what I understand, it would most likely be from me giving him oral sex. I also recently started taking a daily dose of valacyclovir which is supposed to suppress the virus. If you have any more information on this type of HSV-1 I would really appreciate it! I feel like there are no resources out there to help.


    In reply to: Introduction


    The good news is, yes, hour skim should return back to normal once the outbreak is over. No scars. No signs of an outbreak.

    But mentally coping is another story. It is going to take a lot of patience, self-love, and acceptance to cope with this new diagnosis. I was diagnosed a year ago and I’m still not 100% ok. I often feel stupid, and broken, and just not happy with myself for getting this infection. But I’m coming around. The disease doesn’t define you.


    Hi everyone,
    Thank you to everyone who is on this forum. This is priceless for me.
    I was recently diagnosed (last week Tuesday) and to summarize how I feel in one word is numb. I had all the typical symptoms and was doing my research and thought it may be HSV2. I went to gyn, who really didn’t say anything- took cultures and I didn’t hear back. There motto is no news is good news but what I didn’t realize is that the traditional sti/STD test doesn’t include hsv testing so I opted for to find my own way to get tested. Used an online company that gives you a requisition for urine and blood work and my igg was positive being greater than 5. Fortunately, that some company allows you to use their physicians to call in prescriptions. I immediately started valtrex with some relief. My question for you all is willy skin return to normal after the outbreak ends? Currently I feel like a lizard with how my skin looks.
    Also if anyone could give me pointers to mentally manage this. I ordered Dr Kelly s book, received it yesterday and started as well as been listening to various interviews.
    Any suggestions would be more than welcome
    Thank you all again


    Sorry you are going through this stay strong! I was recently diagnosed and am having my first OUtbreak currently, which started as a small not too bothersome rash between my buttcheeks. That’s when I went in and got diagnosed. I got medication and the rash went away but since i have tears in my perineum area and it burns if urine goes on it. It’s awful! I’ve taken some baths with apple cider vinegar and used coconut oil on it. Both seem to ease the discomfort but it’s not healing or going away. I recently started trying some baby healing ointment, like aquaphor, hoping it helps. Maybe these ideas will help you. Do share if you find any solutions!


    Hi all,

    I’m 27 this month and I’m in a relationship. I did not know and still have yet to be diagnosed but I have had unprotected sex. I have unknowingly infected people if I do have it and I’m not sure how to feel about it.

    Thanks for listening


    Topic: Hope


    I was so depressed and sad when I was diagnosed with HSV2, I thought that was the end of the world. I wen lost my job and a few more friends. I was at home trying to end it all one day when a friend called me and ask me to try a certain Dr. I actually did since I had noting to loose. I contacted him, he asked me a few questions and ten prepared and sent the medicine to me. I want to let you know that right now, I have been free from herpes for the past two years. I haven’t been really telling people about him cos I don’t like answering questions, but was moved to help my fellow ladies that are here. You can reach him on Instagram @dreldersegunjohn or through mail at make sure you answer him correctly when he askes you any question.


    Topic: Help


    I was diagnosed with HSV-1 on my genitals several years ago.
    My first outbreak was painful, but any since then I have barely noticed. But I now have the worst outbreak of my life.
    I noticed mild symptoms a couple of weeks ago but this happens on occasion and resolves without anti-virals needed. The symptoms got severely worse a few days ago and I saw the doctor today. I am now on Valaciclovir 500mg 3 times a day and antibiotics for a subsequent pseudomonas infection. My doctor also gave me lignocaine ointment.
    My problem is that I am in constant agony, I cannot touch the area or even put anything on it without screaming in pain. Water on the area is also agony. I am unable to urinate without crying for at least half an hour after, the peeing in water trick is no less pain.
    Has anyone got any ideas on how to reduce the pain?


    I was diagnosed 10 months ago. Nothing has gotten easier. I haven’t been able to date since. I feel disgusting and don’t know what to do. The stigma around it is so bad that nobody understands. I don’t get outbreaks that often but all anybody wants to hear is the word “herpes” and they want nothing to do with you. I just feel like my life is ruined at 23.

    • This topic was modified 1 week, 5 days ago by Bre.

    My story…I’m a supervisor and had to recently terminate one of my employees. This employee in return was able to log into company email and send out mass email stating I have herpes. Hurt, confused, and embarrassed was an understatement. I set up an appointment with my doctor. He asked the normal questions as to why I wanted to get tested. I lied and said he missed my yearly testing when I went for check up. Results came back and everything was negative but for HSV1 and HSV2. My igg numbers were 50.8 for HSV1 and 18.1 for HSV2. No comments or nothing from my doctor. I’ve been doing my own research and I’m guessing I have genital herpes. But the question I couldn’t keep asking myself was how did this employee know my status before I did. I investigated a little more and found out she has a friend that’s a nurse that works at the hospital I got tested at several years ago. She stated that she had her friend look into my medical records. I was dating a guy who was also seeing someone else. He called me up one day and said I needed to go get tested because he thought he had something. I went and got tested and the nurse that took my bloodwork told me that they would call if my test came back abnormal. I never got a call so I went on like with my life like nothing was wrong. Now I feel like my life is over and don’t want to leave my bed. How do I suppose to handle the nurse that violated my rights? How do I suppose to live a normal life although I feel dirty and damaged? My head has been hurting since getting the news, I barely eat, and haven’t talked to my boyfriend since I got the news, actually thinking about breaking up with him because I feel like he will look at me differently now. Just need answers


    I just received the phone call today to tell me the news that I already knew. I have HSV 2. I had a mild outbreak for the first time about two weeks ago that had me questioning what was going on so I went to get tested for all STIs. I had heard no news for a week but today I got the call from a NoCallerID and I already knew what was going to be said on the other end. I feel depressed and ashamed. All I can keep thinking is how will this change my future. I know how I would feel if someone I was about to be intimate with told me they had herpes. It has such a negative stigma and I can already feel that regardless of how common it is, I am going to struggle in the dating scene. My friends and family are trying to comfort me but I feel like none of them understand. I am thankful that other women are sharing their stories on this site to help newly diagnosed women like me. Any advice is appreciated.


    Was diagnosed over a year ago and never told anyone which was really lonely. I recently met someone naturally and was so nervous to tell him. By some miracle he was amazing and said he didn’t care and it was worth it to see me. We have had a sexual relationship for about a month now and are using condoms but I’m so scared I’m going to pass it on to him and he will blame me. He says he wouldn’t and he’s so nice I’m sure that true but we haven’t been together long and if it doesn’t work out I don’t want to be the persons that gave him herpes. I feel really lucky to have found someone so understanding but I feel like he deserve so much better than me.


    I’m seeking info to help me walk through this journey with my college aged niece. She was recently diagnosed but was told she needs to return in 2 weeks to be retested. She tested positive via a blood test after having several different female issues including what was originally diagnosed as an UTI but it kept returning. The last doctors visit they did a vaginal examination as well as the blood test, at that visit they told her it did not look like a UTI (her urine was good) but a bacterial infection of some sort. Gave her a prescription to take and then called back two weeks later to tell her she tested positive for HSV but they didn’t know if it was type 1 or type 2. She’s devastated. I’ve read a lot about false positives and I wonder if that might be the case here. Any help that you can offer me in how to support her, calm her down, walk with her through this would be greatly appreciated. She lost her mom a little over a year ago and that makes me the one she has to turn to for help.

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