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    I was diagnosed just over 6 months ago after a second outbreak in about 6 weeks.

    I thought the first outbreak was ringworm or something & quickly put medicine on it that made it never looked like what it was.

    The second outbreak I didn’t treat and went to the doctor to confirm (was hoping it was shingles or something else). It wasn’t. I old my doctor I’d been with the same person 2 years and she said I could have gotten it 30 years ago.

    A little background – I was a single mother more than 20 years ago and so busy and overwhelmed for so long I gave up on dating at all until a few years ago after my kid started college.

    Then I dated a few people, nothing serious,
    but kept thinking about the relationship before the one when I got pregnant 20+ years before.

    We have a mutual friend and turns out his marriage was over and we rekindled that relationship.

    Before we were back together this time we talked on the phone for 6 weeks or so.

    Initially. it was just an old friends catching up kind of thing and he told me the only person
    In his life he’d really think about dating was a friend of his. He asked, if I knew it was”the one” would I be with someone who had a non-fatal, but incurable disease. I knew what I was referring to and told him he better be sure because he’d never have a chance with a lot of women.. one of them being me.

    He dropped the subject and mentioned that friend’s status a few times in other context.

    Fast forward almost 2 years to my first outbreak, told him I thought it might be ringworm and he sort of jokingly told me to stay away.

    Second outbreak, I told him after medically confirmed and I asked him if he ever had any indication he might have it. He said no.
    I was breaking up with him because I didn’t
    want him to get it. He said it didn’t matter, he loved me, he might already have it anyway & 25% of people have it, etc.

    A few months later, I went out of town with my kid and had lots of time to think and remembered that early conversation about his friend he’d been interested in and became convinced he knew all along and didn’t tell me.

    I broke up as soon as I got back & told him why.
    He seemed completely stunned & devastated, but said okay.

    I was devastated, too, lost my best friend, as well as my boyfriend, etc., and texted him. We started talking and he said he had been tempted be tested & send me the negative result without a word. I felt like a monster & a fool & we got back together.

    I have to admit, I think about this often and wonder what the truth is.

    He’s generally very forthcoming about things, but I know he has lied to me about less important things.

    It’s otherwise a good relationship, not perfect, and I wonder how I’d ever date again anyway.

    I wouldn’t want to go out with someone who is negative per I’m at the point in my life where I’m not just dating around & I don’t want to give it to someone else.

    I feel like I can’t get perspective on this to see things clearly and there is no one I can or will tell.

    Candid thoughts, please.

    This reply has been marked as private.

    I was so sure I had an autoimmune disease because my joints hurt and felt inflamed. All tests came back negative. I was diagnosed 2 years ago with herpes. I had a bad first breakout and then 2 more but only had a couple I sore with those. I can’t go one day without taking valtrex or I get the pins and needles feeling in legs and down below. If I miss a couple days I feel like I’m getting the flu. Anyone else feel this way? I am also taking monolaurnen 3x a day and l-lysine defense 3x a day. Why don’t I feel better!


    Just been diagnosed 3wks ago, initial outbreak in 2018 which when I got tested came back negative??? The angry talk with my now ex at the time he insisted he was clean Dr said he had pimples on his shaft? No symptoms since but mid June I got blisters on my fingers really stung and wouldn’t heal so went to Dr and was given steroid cream as they said it was eczema. 2wks later constipated, burning down there and pain passing urine and bruise like pain down backs if thighs, went to Dr and was given internal exam, urine test and she swabbed me and it came back as hsv2, luckily I’ve not been sexualy active since my ex and I split up in 2020 (lockdown, changed jobs and then had pre cancerous cells removed from cervix). Ive had tingling and burning for around 6wks and waiting on blood results to see if antiviral meds are appropriate. I’m worried sick I feel like this is all consuming for me I feel disgusting and angry because I believe my ex either knew and lied or lied to me about getting tested before we stopped using protection, can’t ever imagine a scenario where I’d be comfortable to disclose this to friends family or a potential partner but I also couldn’t live with myself if I passed it on because I know how it’s making me feel. Here to chat if you want


    I’ve just been diagnosed few weeks ago but it’s looking like I was misdiagnosis and have had it since 2018 (3 tests since the outbreak in 2018 were negative, was told it was HPV and pre cancerous cells in cervix and I’ve been HPV negative since July 2020 haven’t been sexualy active since my surgery in January 2020, feel I can’t date because I know I’m too ashamed to tell anyone I have this and I can’t risk passing it onto anyone either.


    In reply to: Feeling Ashamed


    Just joined today, I’d been seeing this guy for going on 10 months he seemed so open and honest we were making plans for future, moving in, kids etc then I find out he has a girlfriend and I was technically his other woman, stopped seeing him got tested right away all negative no symptoms, started seeing someone else few months later and one night after 1 to many drinks we slept together and he said the condom slipped off because it was too big? Then ghosted me. Went back got tested again all negative by this time I stupidly got back with my ex who had cheated on me, had my first outbreak about 6wks later he denied having anything but wouldn’t get tested, I got tested and told everything was clear but I had thrush which they gave me a pessary for. Fast forward to January 2020 I’m diagnosed with HPV and pre cancerous cells are removed, got the all clear 6 months later and haven’t been sexualy active since. Mid June had pain and stinging but no sign of blisters, Dr diagnosed me with genital herpes few weeks ago and said it’s in my fingers as well. I’ve no idea which 1 of them gave it to me, why it’s taken so long to have an outbreak or why I’ve had 3 negative tests but I feel disgusting really struggling mentally and feel like my dating life is over. I’ve finally met the most lovely guy and he’s asked me out and I’ve totally pushed him away I’m so ashamed to tell him but I don’t want to start anything with him and risk inflecting him too


    In reply to: Herpe outbreak?


    Just newly diagnosed myself, so I am also seeking advice. Hang in there!


    I am newly diagnosed — it is Tuesday and I read the diagnosis on my medical portal on Sunday night. In shock even though doctor who did the swab of my blisters told me it might be herpes. I just thought it was the oral herpes (which I know I have and this hasn’t given me shame) that got “down there” through oral sex or something. But it is genital herpes. Blisters started after I had COVID in April, which I guess is not uncommon, although I may have had other symptoms for a long time (nerve tingling). Husband has no symptoms. He is supportive. We talked (ok, I cried, and he talked). Given our histories before we got together over 30 years ago, it is likely that I was the one who contracted herpes and was basically without symptoms throughout our whole relationship. I feel ashamed about this and really alone. I can’t talk to anyone about it except my husband and I don’t want to burden him with being a basket case. Thanks for listening


    Hi everyone I’m newly diagnosed with herpes. Im just trying to figure out my triggers and if I’m having a break out or what could possibly be going on down there?? Any advice


    Hi! I was diagnosed with hsv a few months ago. Like you I have done a lot of research and this is what I am doing. I take lysine, vitamin C with Zinc, a multivitamin with B complex as well as a daily probiotic drink (Amazing Greens). When I stopped it for a few days I got symptoms almost immediately so taking these daily seems to help. I think the key, for me at least, is supporting my immune system. So I’m working on always getting my 8 hours of sleep too. Hope this helps.


    I’ve always been careful with my sexual partners. I also haven’t had many. I started seeing someone and it got serious, quick. We had sex with condoms and eventually stopped using them. I had asked him about testing and he said he was in the clear. I also hadn’t known how many partners and how recently he had had sex. I trusted him. Three months in the relationship I was diagnosed. I was in shock and shut down. He said he didn’t know. I felt beyond betrayed. Eventually I said, “we need to learn how to tell people if we ever break up”. He said, we’re never breaking up. The stress of herpes went away when I realized he was the one. 3 years later we broke up. So hear I am feeling the stress and depression of a breakup with someone I thought I’d marry, along with having a new world of realizing I’m going to have to date with herpes for the first time ever.


    Hi, I was diagnosed with genital herpes 5 or 6 years ago during my first outbreak. I had one small sore fairly far into my vaginal opening. I haven’t ever had another outbreak. I get paranoid every time I ever feel anything uncomfortable in that area, but as far as I know, I have never had an outbreak. Lucky, I know. However, I don’t really know what it feels like and if I would recognize the symptoms. Recently, I felt some discomfort in the area and had a look. At first, I was sure it was an outbreak by the way it looked (one small white-ish looking spot. not really a blister though). But it was gone in less than 2 days. Is that possible? Sometimes I have tears especially after sex, so I’m not sure if it was just that or if it was an outbreak.
    any insight?


    In reply to: 25 years old with hsv1


    Hi Soso,

    I am so sorry you have been diagnosed with HSV-1. You seem to have a lot of worry and concern about the virus and spreaging it.

    I think the more you learn & read about it, the better you will feel! I take acyclovir daily to prevent outbreaks of my HSV(2) & that has definitely helped me a lot.

    You may want to talk to your doctor about a prescription for an anti-viral medecine to prevent outbreaks.

    HSV-1 is extremely common, I found this online:

    How common is herpes simplex?

    ‘Herpes simplex is widespread around the world. About 2 in 3 people worldwide (and up to 80% of Americans) contract HSV-1 by age 50. About 15% of 15- to 49-year-olds contract HSV-2.’

    Hoping those statistics make you feel less alone. You are not alone, it is a very common virus!


    Hello everyone, I’m Soso. I recently been diagnosed with hsv1 and I’ve been very depressed. Although I caught chicken pox in childhood I never knew that it was hsv because no one told me about it. I had my first cold sore ever on Halloween of last year and haven’t had one since (thank god) I have so many questions and concerns that doctors that I’ve been going to have just shrugged off. It’s so depressing to not have anyone to talk to about it because nobody cares. I hope to make friends. I’ve been sitting here going crazy for about a month now and I just want to get to some type of peace.

    Questions I have about it is, am I still contagious without the cold sore? Like can I touch my lips. If I’m eating or drinking something and it spills on my body will it transfer that way? If I’m in the shower and the water runs from my lips down my body can it transfer that way as well? Even if I wash my face? If I drool in my sleep do I have to immediately get up to wash my face?

    Sorry if it’s alot but that’s literally what’s been running though my mind I’m sitting here washing my self with soap and water if I feel like I got my spit anywhere on my face or body. I’ve even started wearing face masks after reading that your saliva is infected. I’m just going crazy and extremely traumatized and don’t know what to do or what not to and some answers and advice would really help. Thanks❤️


    Hi all. I have been recently diagnosed with hsv 2 and i am keen on treating this with natural remedies. I have been doing hours of research since diagnosis and wanted to know of other peoples experience with natural treatments. Whats worked, what hasnt etc.

    I have ordered monolaurin and waiting for it to arrive. My lysine arrived yesterday and i have began taking it as a supplement. I also applied some of the powder straight on to the ulcers. It did hurt a bit but i powered through. When i woke it was the most relief i had felt since the begining of the putbreak. Could be coincidence?

    Anyway.. please reply with your thoughts and experiences. Thanks so much. This is definitely a lot to process.

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