Topic: Casual Sex
I am currently in college, and I am interested in a more casual sex/hook up lifestyle. I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 last March. I broke up with my ex in May (for reasons besides getting a herpes diagnosis), but now I am wanting something more casual. I am from a small college where word gets around easily, so disclosing this information to a potential (and possibly talkative – sometimes it’s hard to tell) one night stand or hook up is daunting. If I am not having an outbreak, am on antivirals, and always use condoms would it be necessary to disclose the information? I am a very educated woman. I have read up on HSV to a great extent. One of the reasons why I question it is that people with cold sores kiss their partners all the time when no cold sore is present. Is this the same risk as having sex with no outbreaks genitally? The person I am hooking up with may not even ask if I have been tested, so are they are putting themselves at risk too? I do not want to seem immoral with this reasoning, but I guess I just do not know how easily transmitted this virus is even in terms of asymptomatic shedding. I do not want to feel like my sex life is completely changed now that I am single and do not want anything serious with anyone. I know having an STI is a big responsibility for myself and others, but any advice would be great.
I went to my local clinic thinking it was a UTI because of the pain, and it turns out it was genital herpes. I have been in so much pain. I can barely walk, and it is such intense pain when I pee. I’ve been crying non stop for the last 72 hours and I really want the pain to go away. It legit is making me feel like I want to die. Does it get any better? Is there anything I can do to help deal with the pain?
I was just diagnosed with genital HV1 yesterday. I was in a two year relationship up until August 2019, and in October had sex with a new partner. From my understanding, this means I contracted herpes from him. However, there is a complication. I have had oral herpes since I was 13 but have never given it to someone and have not had an outbreak in almost a year. Is it possible that I somehow gave myself genital herpes?
If it’s unlikely I somehow gave myself genital HV1, then I am unsure if he knows he has herpes and I don’t know how to tell him.
Does anyone have advice for this?
Topic: Herpes smell
So I’m newly diagnosed with herpes type 2 since September and recently I’ve been experiencing a foul smell from my discharge and I don’t know why. I haven’t been getting any outbreaks since starting my meds. But I haven’t been able to figure out how to fight this smell. Please I’ll appreciate any suggestions I just can’t find anything online at all.
Okay, hello everyone. This is my first post on here, but I’ve been diagnosed for 3 years. I’ve already went though the “no one will ever love me again” stage and even though it took a trip to the psych ward (because it made me suicidal when I found out) I made my way though the murky waters and found someone who truly does love me. We’ve been dating for about a year and a half and it started out amazing (as most relationships do). I was very up front with him about it brining it up in our very first conversation about our feelings for each other and everything. He was very kind and understanding about it and after a while of deliberating on his part, he told me it wasn’t a deal breaker and that I was too amazing to pass up on (the butterflies were so real.) We were very cautious about sex in our first few months. Always using condoms and never doing oral. But after a while he told me that he was tired of using condoms and not getting head and didn’t care anymore. He wants to spend the rest of his life with me and was willing to become infected himself for the sake of better intimacy. As you could imagine I was very uncomfortable with this idea. I loved him very much at the time but wasn’t and didn’t want to deal with the kind of guilt that would bring on in me. I told him no, and he was fine about it at first. But then he kept pushing. It took months to wear me down but I finally gave in. If he really did want to spend the rest of his life with me and have kids it was probably going to happen eventually (mind you this whole time I was far to poor to afford the antivirals, so I was just letting out breaks run their course, not fun.) But I think I made the worst mistake of my life. I let him convince me to have raw sex. And he contracted it almost instantly. I felt horrible and he assured me that it wasn’t my fault and I wasn’t to feel guilty. He loves me and didn’t care, it was his choice and he wouldn’t of done it if he wasn’t certain. Well now I’m in a big ol’ pickle because I find myself very unhappy and unfulfilled in the relationship. I want to leave, and would have left long ago if it wasn’t for the guilt. I can’t get over it. It’s making me hate myself all over again for being so stupid. For giving in. I don’t know what to do. This is something I haven’t told anyone about him contracting it, and typing it out is actually making me cry. So I sought out this forum. I need a support group. I just want someone to talk it out with. I’ve told him how unhappy I am and he’ll try for a week or two and then fall right back into his old patterns. I have no idea what to do and feel trapped in a sea of my own self loathing and guilt. I’m drowning again and am having a really hard time pulling myself out of it. I just really need someone to talk to. Please help. I’m so lost.
Topic: the first time knowing
I was 20 when I first found out that I was diagnosed with Herpes simplex 2. I was dating an awful guy. He did heroin, stole my car and totaled it, stole thousands of dollars from me and cheated on me, but the hardest one that I had to deal with was he gave me an infection that will be with me for a lifetime.
I was laying in his bed with him as we started, I told him he needed to use a condom, he neglected my wishes and forced himself inside of me anyway. I was upset beyond belief, but time went on and thought nothing of it. a few months down the road, we were having sex and I started crying it hurt so bad, he didn’t care about how I felt and continued. I went home and tried to urinate and it was the worst pain I have felt. I thought maybe he was just too rough and had torn me, a few days went by and it was getting worse. I was afraid to pee anymore, so I went to the dr. She looked at me and told me that it was herpes. She sent in a test and I got a call a week later telling me infact it was herpes simplex 2. I sat and cried for weeks about it, my best friend was the only one who was there for me. I told my boyfriend at the time and was “sorry”. I stayed with him for months because he was the one who gave it to me, he was the only one who was going to accept me for it, since he was the one who had given it to me. In January of 2018, we finally ended it because he had cheated on me again.
I felt worthless, disgusting and humiliated. I would never find love again. due to this, I fell into a deep depression. I have yet to get out of the depression but I am trying my best. I met someone and have been talking for a year now and he seems amazing. tonight I finally told him everything. he has told me that he will learn about everything he can and that he still wants to be with me, and that is great. I still feel like this unloveable person. someone that cannot have a normal life ever. I take the pills as I should, to decrease the chances of an outbreak happening but I know there is still a chance that he could get it.
Somedays I wish I wasn’t alive. other days I wish the man that had given it to me wasn’t either. I have been living with this for 2 years and it feels like a nightmare that doesn’t end. I question how having children will work or if I will ever have children. This is not the life I wanted or asked for. I have not seen a counselor to help me cope with this, I know I should and I am sure they can help me get over the anger that I have built-in me and help with the depression. Finding help seems a lot harder than just keeping it building inside of me.
I started this with an open mind on talking about this, and the more I write the more I feel flowing out of me and what needs to be said for my own mental health. I know things do get better and there are so many people living with it, that have an amazing life but it is a hard thing to wrap my mind around even to this day.
I was just diagnosed with herpes about a month ago. I’m married for 28 years and I went out to catch up with a friend and he made a move on me and kissed me. I didn’t push him back which I regret. 4 to 5 days later I started to feel sick. Tired and dull pain in genital area, thigh pain and felt like I had to pee all the time.
It took a month for gynecologist and family doctor to figure out it was herpes. Newly exposed about 2 to 3 weeks ago. Only physical contact I had in couple months was that kiss. I asked the guy and he said he has genital herpes and didn’t know that kiss can transmit the virus. I’m angry at him and myself. I blame myself so much and couldn’t eat or sleep. I lost 10lb in one month. My husband was angry first but he said he wants us to heal and move on. I started to eat and sleep a little after that but still struggling with so much emotions.
I started taking antibiotics and one Acyclovir per day for a week now. But my condition hadn’t been improved completely. I haven’t had any outbreaks but I’ve been having a genital aching pain, thigh pain, lower back pain and feels like I need to pee sometimes. Those pains takes turns and comes and goes. My doctor said it’s taking a long time for me to heal because I’m weak and under so much stress. I would like to know if any of you are having a same symptoms. I also get tingle sensations in my mouth and arms time to time.
I want to heal and move on but it’s hard to do so with pain and discomfort.
Topic: NEW AND ASHAMED
Hey everyone, I am very new here and just need to get all of this off my chest. I am a sophomore in college and was recently diagnosed with genital herpes. I know exactly who I got it from because he is the only guy I see, but apparently it isn’t the same way around. I knew that we weren’t exclusive but I never gave it much thought. After I found out that I had herpes I was devastated. I cried for an hour in the clinic alone. I know its something a lot of people face but I never thought I would be one of those people. I still catch myself googling about it 24/7. I need advice though… I still see the guy and he has no clue that I know he has, and that I have it as well. I just really don’t want to have this conversation with him. At the beginning I avoided him but I couldn’t do that for long, because let’s face it I REALLY REALLY like him. I have tried being with other guys but now I’m scared that I will give it to them. What if I do? honestly, I’m not the best with condoms (bad I know) but its because I never slept around but now its something I have to be extra cautious about. What if I slip up? What’s the likelihood of me giving it to someone else. My friends don’t know and occasionally they make jokes because they do indeed sleep around, but yet I’m the one who got it. I need help guys. Im lost and angry and don’t know what else to do. on top of herpes I got another std from the same got. Got it taken care of, slept with him again (no condom) stupid right… then recently slept with a new guy (trying to move on) and (drunken mistake) and didn’t use a condom and he called me and said that he had gotten tested and had an std.. I panicked, did I just give this new guy herpes. No. it was the other std. but wait I thought I fixed that. Nope I guess I have it again so I will be going to the doctor tomorrow. the new guy now hates me and I’m panicked that I might have gave him herpes. he said he got tested he was only positive for that one std but I din’t tell him I had herpes. wouldn’t it had been positive to if he had it. should I tell him? he already hates me I just kinda want to leave it alone. well if y’all have any advice for this lost and confused college girl please let me know. I know I made some mistakes…
So I’ve been diagnosed with hsv 2 since 2014,a junior in college. I thought I had dealt with the motions of being diagnosed and even went to the darkest areas of my mind that I had to claw my way back. I thought I was doing well but recently in the last year all of these feelings have emerged and I’ve had to figure a way through them again and I am struggling. The other I might I just broke down and kept screaming why me?!?! I tried so hard to be care duke and then out of the blue this happened and I hate the fear I get when someone mentions anything about an std. the pitting in my stomach and the innate fear someone will find out and shame me!
How can I deal with all this again? I’m scared and it’s affecting my happiness
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