I’ve been seeing this guy casually for a couple of months and we started really liking each other. I just got diagnosed with hsv by someone else I was just hooking up with. He said he got std tests every 6 months but he wasn’t tested for hsv so he didn’t know he had it. The guy I’ve started to like told me he wanted to be exclusive and the same day I found out I had hsv. He was kind about it and said he was sorry I had to go through this. But he also said he was scared to have sex with me and afraid of getting hsv. I understand him not wanting to get it. It just hurt so much to hear someone say that. Does anyone have any tips for dating or what to do in this situation?
Topic: New diagnosis
I was diagnosed with GHSV1 last Thursday and have been struggling on and off. I know the only thing I can do is focus on feeling better and moving on, but it is hard to imagine my future having this when I have been completely healthy my whole life (I’m 27). I also am intimidated by the huge stigma around this, and how guys are going to react when I feel confident enough to start dating again.
I know that it is completely manageable so I’m not as worried about the physical aspects, but I am really nervous about the stereotyping and narrow-mindedness I am going to come across. Any advice/love would be appreciated right now.
This is mostly a vent post, I feel betrayed by men and I hate them too because those jerks barely get symptoms and throw their penises around like it’s nothing without the bad affects. They rarely get tested, because ….. MEN…..
I was diagnosed about 3 weeks ago.
I was obstaining from sex for about 7-8 months and got tested two weeks before I decided to have sex with this guy I was talking to. Unprotected of course. (Biggest mistake of my life)
My tests came back negative, as it always has the in the past. (I used to be a sex worker so safety is a huge thing for me)
Anyways, a couple days later I got itching, over a period of 12 weeks my symptoms got worse, from burning,It turns out he gave me Trich, Yeast infection and HSV1 and also a severe bladder infection AND UTI. I had to go to the hospital because of the pain and sickness.
Being an ex-sex worker I already felt that I had no worth left, now I feel that I’m utterly worthless and disgusting. My best friend had it and was helping me through it but she passed away a mere 4 days before I got the official results.
I don’t ever want to date or have sex every again. I feel like no one will ever love me or want me. I don’t want kids because what if I infect my child? Who would want a kid with me anyways ?
How does everyone else feel about dating after being diagnosed? How have you gone about telling the other person?
I’m bisexual and with women it’s such direct sexual contact that I can’t have anymore, unlike men if I really wanted to a condom would be used but doesn’t work for a woman.
I lost the person that was my support, and I’ve been wondering who out there had things like this to share. I’m truly thankful for this forum.
Topic: Stuck in shame cycle
Hi all. New here. Diagnosed 8 years ago, never had a breakout since that first time. Thought I could just remain single and never have to talk about it again. Then I met someone, and before getting to the point of having sex, had the conversation. After processing the information and educating himself, he has alot of anger and resentment (understandable), but he’s afraid that he could have infected his child, because the information he’s read thus far leads him to believe that kissing and holding hands is enough to transmit HSV2. I want to re-assure him, but published research indicates that you can transmit HSV2 without active symptoms. Anyone have any literature that I can share that might ease his (and my mind) at all?
Hi everyone. I was diagnosed with herpes 1 many years ago. The outbreak was swelling and pimples that broke open and pain. I never got an episodes that bad again. My question is have you ever got an outbreak like the first one again? Years later I’m have a really bad one and I’m wondering if I have been exposed maybe to herpes 2 since I recently started dating again after a divorce. Thanks
I was just diagnosed a week ago. I am in a stable relationship, but I feel like he is going to leave me because of this. He had told me that he won’t, but I fear it. I feel so alone right now. I don’t understand why this has happened to me. I am still trying to figure out how I am going to work through this. We get married a year from now. I don’t know what our relationship is going to look like because of this.
Hello. Today I got my results from the IGG test, showing a 1.30 for HSV-1. The IGM dropped a negative result for both. The doctor was very sarcastic and cynical. He didn’t give me information on how to prevent transmission or treatment. I felt judged. I feel devastated, lonely, disgusting and that my life is over. Please, share as much information as you have. I’m feeling like I shouldn’t love anymore.
Hi everyone, I was recent diagnosed with hsv1 (gential) over a month ago. I had a really bad outbreak that lasted over 2 weeks which made me discover the virus. Just a little back story I’ve only been with 2 men my ex and my current partner. I got the virus from my ex about 5 years ago and it’s pretty much been dormant in my body until now. The person I’m with now has test negative for the virus which I am happy about. My current partner of over 2 years has been really supportive and loving which has honestly helped a lot and has not looked at me differently. But I am really struggling with depression and trying to be happy. Since everything I’ve been having panic attacks, over sleeping, and losing weight (unintentionally). I have lost 10 pounds within in 4 weeks. I really am trying to be positive and move past this but I still can’t come to terms with how this has happened to me. I constantly feel shame everyday about my situation. I’m constantly having the thought of why is this happening to me and did I do something to deserve this. Since my outbreak I haven’t had another but my doctor has put me on suppressive therapy for year with valtrex. I just feel hopeless and confused and I don’t know how I’m going to move past this
Topic: Recently diagnosed HSV2
I’m Melissa, I’m 23 years old and I was diagnosed with HSV2 yesterday. For some odd reason, the only thing I’m afraid of is experiencing an outbreak since I’m pretty sure I’ve had this for a while and have been asymptomatic. Here’s my story:
My partner and I have been together for 4 years. When him and I started to get serious, he told me that he has HSV-2, way before we were even intimate. When he told me about it, I wasn’t scared or phased by it. He educated me and I did my own research and spoke with my doctor and what not obviously I wanted to continue to pursue the relationship. Fast forward to today, we’ve been engaged since July of this year (I GET TO MARRY MY BEST FRIEND!!!!)
ANYWHO. This week, I went to the doctor’s office to get myself checked because I had abdomen pain, which turned out to be middleschmertz. I also did some blood work too because I told my doctor that my fiancé and I are talking about having kids next year and whatnot. Yesterday my bloodwork came back, and I came back positive for HSV-2. It took me a little bit of surprise but I was prepared for this to happen (as weird as that sounds). When he and I first started dating, he told me that he has HSV2 and it was given to him by his ex-girlfriend. I wasn’t scared or phased because I had surface knowledge and I know there wasn’t any information that I wouldn’t be able to obtain because all I had to do was talk to my doctor.
When, I got the results, I told him right away. He was really really sad and upset that he gave it to me. I validated how he felt and I reassured him that nothing is changing for us because of this. because the truth is, I could’ve had this 3-4 years ago and only found out now that I have this with the bloodwork. Not only that, I’ve never had an HSV2 outbreak at all since him and I have been together for 4 years. At this time, I personally don’t feel like much has changed for me. I don’t love him any less, I don’t have any anger, and resentment. I truly don’t have any negative feelings because
1. It’s not a burden. It’s never affected our relationship, and I’m confident that it won’t affect us. We just need to continue to remain healthy and symptom-free (he hasn’t had an outbreak since 2018 and I haven’t had anything yet!)
2. I know it’s more common than people think. More common than I even think!
The only negative feeling I have is knowing that my fiancé is being so hard on himself and it hurts me to see him like that. But other than that, I think part of me is sharing this because of the stigma around it, the “societal punishment”. But I feel okay and I just needed to get this off of my chest but I’m also in need of some encouragement!
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