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  • WynneSmith

    I didn’t know much about herpes, as no one I knew had it. I had not ever been tested for it even though I got tested for other STD’s fairly regularly. My doctor said if I never had symptoms or had a partner who had it, I didn’t need to get tested.
    About 7 weeks ago some crazy stuff happened at work and they laid off most of my department without warning. There were only three of us left and suddenly we were doing (and still are) the work of all the others who had been let go. The stress was unexpected and heavy. I couldn’t sleep, I ate terrible foods and I cried all the time. I was in front of the computer way too much and didn’t get regular exercise. I broke out in blisters on my genitals. I had no idea what was going on so I Googled it and decided that I better have a herpes test. Just to rule that out, as my boyfriend didn’t have it and I had never known any of my past boyfriends to have it. Well, the blood test was positive. My world changed right then and there. I told my current boyfriend (9 monthsdating) and he thought he must have had it unknowingly and gave it to me. He had a blood test. Well, his test was negative. I asked my doctor how that could be and he said I could have caught it as many as 20 years ago and never had an outbreak until now. I then remembered someone who I dated in 2003 right after I got divorced. I found his prescription for Valtrex in his bathroom and asked him what the hell he was keeping from me. He swore it was for “lip sores”. We broke up soon after, and then I never got any outbreaks after that so I didn’t think I had it. Well, now I know I do, maybe I have had it all this time and didn’t know, and my boyfriend does NOT, so the world has stopped for us. He won’t kiss me, hold my hand, or of course, have sex with me now. I’m on daily Valtrex but he is very scared of catching it. I don’t have a current outbreak but I still feel like I am u unlovable.


    I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. I am not handling it well I spent decades married to someone who wouldn’t touch me before I had this. When we separated my ex took my home my animals and let me have my clothes. He didnt help with bills in my name and I was granted enough support to barely cover the bills he stuck me with while he kept all the items. We split up I found a relationship with a much younger man who was exciting and handsome. I felt so happy and confident for the first time in my life had sex without protection after we became official. I thought I was happy but he hasn’t turned out to be the person I thought he was. He isn’t very supportive after I tested positive and I find myself incredibly angry it all. Somedays I wish I had never left my ex husband if this is the end result. I have the same sexless existence as before but without my home my animals or any of the things my family gave me. I lost my job because this and have felt so depressed waking up is difficult.


    Newly diagnosed too around December, but am scaling through. Stay strong, don’t look yourself less and just see it as part of life.


    Hi all,
    Ever since I was diagnosed with herpes in October, I have been going through terrible breakouts on my face. I can’t tell if it is acne or related to the herpes. Anyone else experience this? I’ve tried everything and it won’t go away. Red bumps all over the bridge of my nose and corners of my nose. I never struggled with acne before, it is so bad!! I have also been going through a huge life change and stress so it could be that but looking for any and all advice. What can I do??


    I am so sorry. I am newly diagnosed too. Stay strong. I am glad we have this place to communicate.


    I am newly diagnosed and really struggling. But I am empowering myself by taking legal action against the man who infected me. He lied about being divorced (and many other things) and I worry that if he isn’t called out, he will continue to spread HSV to others. Has anyone here engaged in legal action over this? I welcome any positive or negative feedback you are willing to share.


    Hi –

    I received test results last night. Not what I wanted to see!! But…

    This does not alter who I am. I am the same person now as I was last week and the week before. I merely have a new obstacle to overcome.

    I will not feel shame. I did nothing to deserve this. I chose to have sex and that’s ok. I’m a human being. Reading about this condition awakened a sense that it is all chance. A roll of the dice. Since 80% of people don’t know they have it and it can be transmitted without an obvious outbreak, no one can ever be sure they are safe.

    This is a medical condition. It is not a moral judgment of my character. I am not dirty. I am not gross. I am not a slut. I am not less than others without it. It does not define me. But it will give me the opportunity to be a better person.

    This will not kill me. It might be painful or annoying. But so are the chronic migraines I’ve been living with for over 20 years. And over these last 20 years, I’ve experienced so many wonderful things. No, life is not over. Rather, a new chapter is beginning and I am intrigued by what it will bring.

    The man I’ve been with is a complete dream boat. He’s 6’10”, looks like a GQ model, owns 3 businesses, is a wonderful father, is compassionate, very funny, wicked smart, emotionally available and aware, and has held my hand over the past week as I waited for results. I will tell him the results in the next two hours. I can’t expect him to stay with me and if he does leave, I will have to deal with heartache and the feeling that my dreams slipped through my fingers. But…I can be grateful for the time I’ve had with him.

    I can and will forgive the person, who gave this to me. I will come to a peaceful acceptance that allows me to move comfortably in this world. I will not regret. I will not focus on the past.

    I will use this experience to remind myself of how strong I am. How fragile health can be. How quickly life can change. How precious our relationships are.

    I will dive back into life with full enthusiasm. I will go on. I will be happy. I will be at peace. I just know it.


    I was diagnosed just over 6 months ago after a second outbreak in about 6 weeks.

    I thought the first outbreak was ringworm or something & quickly put medicine on it that made it never looked like what it was.

    The second outbreak I didn’t treat and went to the doctor to confirm (was hoping it was shingles or something else). It wasn’t. I old my doctor I’d been with the same person 2 years and she said I could have gotten it 30 years ago.

    A little background – I was a single mother more than 20 years ago and so busy and overwhelmed for so long I gave up on dating at all until a few years ago after my kid started college.

    Then I dated a few people, nothing serious,
    but kept thinking about the relationship before the one when I got pregnant 20+ years before.

    We have a mutual friend and turns out his marriage was over and we rekindled that relationship.

    Before we were back together this time we talked on the phone for 6 weeks or so.

    Initially. it was just an old friends catching up kind of thing and he told me the only person
    In his life he’d really think about dating was a friend of his. He asked, if I knew it was”the one” would I be with someone who had a non-fatal, but incurable disease. I knew what I was referring to and told him he better be sure because he’d never have a chance with a lot of women.. one of them being me.

    He dropped the subject and mentioned that friend’s status a few times in other context.

    Fast forward almost 2 years to my first outbreak, told him I thought it might be ringworm and he sort of jokingly told me to stay away.

    Second outbreak, I told him after medically confirmed and I asked him if he ever had any indication he might have it. He said no.
    I was breaking up with him because I didn’t
    want him to get it. He said it didn’t matter, he loved me, he might already have it anyway & 25% of people have it, etc.

    A few months later, I went out of town with my kid and had lots of time to think and remembered that early conversation about his friend he’d been interested in and became convinced he knew all along and didn’t tell me.

    I broke up as soon as I got back & told him why.
    He seemed completely stunned & devastated, but said okay.

    I was devastated, too, lost my best friend, as well as my boyfriend, etc., and texted him. We started talking and he said he had been tempted be tested & send me the negative result without a word. I felt like a monster & a fool & we got back together.

    I have to admit, I think about this often and wonder what the truth is.

    He’s generally very forthcoming about things, but I know he has lied to me about less important things.

    It’s otherwise a good relationship, not perfect, and I wonder how I’d ever date again anyway.

    I wouldn’t want to go out with someone who is negative per I’m at the point in my life where I’m not just dating around & I don’t want to give it to someone else.

    I feel like I can’t get perspective on this to see things clearly and there is no one I can or will tell.

    Candid thoughts, please.

    This reply has been marked as private.

    I was so sure I had an autoimmune disease because my joints hurt and felt inflamed. All tests came back negative. I was diagnosed 2 years ago with herpes. I had a bad first breakout and then 2 more but only had a couple I sore with those. I can’t go one day without taking valtrex or I get the pins and needles feeling in legs and down below. If I miss a couple days I feel like I’m getting the flu. Anyone else feel this way? I am also taking monolaurnen 3x a day and l-lysine defense 3x a day. Why don’t I feel better!


    Just been diagnosed 3wks ago, initial outbreak in 2018 which when I got tested came back negative??? The angry talk with my now ex at the time he insisted he was clean Dr said he had pimples on his shaft? No symptoms since but mid June I got blisters on my fingers really stung and wouldn’t heal so went to Dr and was given steroid cream as they said it was eczema. 2wks later constipated, burning down there and pain passing urine and bruise like pain down backs if thighs, went to Dr and was given internal exam, urine test and she swabbed me and it came back as hsv2, luckily I’ve not been sexualy active since my ex and I split up in 2020 (lockdown, changed jobs and then had pre cancerous cells removed from cervix). Ive had tingling and burning for around 6wks and waiting on blood results to see if antiviral meds are appropriate. I’m worried sick I feel like this is all consuming for me I feel disgusting and angry because I believe my ex either knew and lied or lied to me about getting tested before we stopped using protection, can’t ever imagine a scenario where I’d be comfortable to disclose this to friends family or a potential partner but I also couldn’t live with myself if I passed it on because I know how it’s making me feel. Here to chat if you want


    I’ve just been diagnosed few weeks ago but it’s looking like I was misdiagnosis and have had it since 2018 (3 tests since the outbreak in 2018 were negative, was told it was HPV and pre cancerous cells in cervix and I’ve been HPV negative since July 2020 haven’t been sexualy active since my surgery in January 2020, feel I can’t date because I know I’m too ashamed to tell anyone I have this and I can’t risk passing it onto anyone either.


    In reply to: Feeling Ashamed


    Just joined today, I’d been seeing this guy for going on 10 months he seemed so open and honest we were making plans for future, moving in, kids etc then I find out he has a girlfriend and I was technically his other woman, stopped seeing him got tested right away all negative no symptoms, started seeing someone else few months later and one night after 1 to many drinks we slept together and he said the condom slipped off because it was too big? Then ghosted me. Went back got tested again all negative by this time I stupidly got back with my ex who had cheated on me, had my first outbreak about 6wks later he denied having anything but wouldn’t get tested, I got tested and told everything was clear but I had thrush which they gave me a pessary for. Fast forward to January 2020 I’m diagnosed with HPV and pre cancerous cells are removed, got the all clear 6 months later and haven’t been sexualy active since. Mid June had pain and stinging but no sign of blisters, Dr diagnosed me with genital herpes few weeks ago and said it’s in my fingers as well. I’ve no idea which 1 of them gave it to me, why it’s taken so long to have an outbreak or why I’ve had 3 negative tests but I feel disgusting really struggling mentally and feel like my dating life is over. I’ve finally met the most lovely guy and he’s asked me out and I’ve totally pushed him away I’m so ashamed to tell him but I don’t want to start anything with him and risk inflecting him too


    In reply to: Herpe outbreak?


    Just newly diagnosed myself, so I am also seeking advice. Hang in there!


    I am newly diagnosed — it is Tuesday and I read the diagnosis on my medical portal on Sunday night. In shock even though doctor who did the swab of my blisters told me it might be herpes. I just thought it was the oral herpes (which I know I have and this hasn’t given me shame) that got “down there” through oral sex or something. But it is genital herpes. Blisters started after I had COVID in April, which I guess is not uncommon, although I may have had other symptoms for a long time (nerve tingling). Husband has no symptoms. He is supportive. We talked (ok, I cried, and he talked). Given our histories before we got together over 30 years ago, it is likely that I was the one who contracted herpes and was basically without symptoms throughout our whole relationship. I feel ashamed about this and really alone. I can’t talk to anyone about it except my husband and I don’t want to burden him with being a basket case. Thanks for listening

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