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  • #45028

    In reply to: New diagnosis

    senoradiamond
    Participant

    I was just recently diagnosed as well. My doctor said that I can take Valtrex if I ever get back into a relationship. That’s assuming whoever it is wouldn’t mind. I don’t have a lot of hope. But I do know that there is the physical healing process but there is also the emotional. Don’t give up on yourself. We can get through this. We are just as valuable and worthwhile as anyone else

    #45027

    In reply to: Freaking out

    senoradiamond
    Participant

    Me!! I was in a loveless marriage for 17 years. I left him one year ago. I started dating someone in July and slept with him early September. One week later diagnosed. I am 52 years old and I can’t believe how unbelievably unfair this is. Page I’m right there with you. I go from crying to screaming, and I can’t tell a soul. It helps me to know I’m not alone. But my therapist tomorrow is going to have a whole new subject to work on with me. This has crushed my self-esteem and any hope of having a relationship this late in life.

    #45022
    kat
    Participant

    I’m new here. I was diagnosed yesterday and I’m terrified. I have never had an outbreak and my reasoning for getting tested was due to a messy breakup. Long and complicated story short..after I broke up with him he called a week later claiming I gave him HSV-2, thinking it was scare tactic to keep me in his clutch I didn’t think anything of it (as he was pulling out all the stops for me to stay with him), I get tested regularly and I’ve always been in the all clear. I started to think about his accusations constantly and decided to go get tested. Sure enough it was positive, I’m devastated, naturally. I’m trying to stay very matter of fact about it. I could question everything and probably will start having an emotional breakdown soon but for now I need suggestions on what my next steps are bc the NP literally said “why are you so upset?” What do I do from here?? Help.

    #45019

    In reply to: Recently Diagnosed

    Applelover
    Participant

    Hey,

    I just got diagnosed today and have been in tears since.

    It’s so hard to accept it and believe that the test results are right!

    I’m not from LA, I’m based in London but am happy to connect and talk about things as my diagnosis is fresh too.

    #45017
    Capqueen17
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    I recently got diagnosed with HSV-2 in July, and it has been a process to accept my new reality. At first, I felt numb and could not believe it. My first thought, like many of you, was who was going to love me now? It has been two weeks and I am coming to terms with it and no longer crying as much.Many reassure me that I will find love and that everything will be okay.I am thankful to have supportive loved ones, but want people who understand. Seeing everybody on this forum helps me feel not so alone.

    I am still trying to figure out what things trigger me and how to take care of myself.
    I did have 2 questions for yall.I am sure I will have more in the future haha.

    How do you shower with HSV-2? I am so scared to touch my area below because I do not want to spread it anywhere else.

    Also, do you know of any good support groups in the LA area?

    A little bit about me:
    I am 26 years old! I live in Southern CA and I work in education. I love to workout and watch reality TV.

    #45012
    mrbulldog9
    Participant

    Hi. I was diagnosed with herpes two months ago. My boyfriend gets cold sores (HSV1) but did not have any noticeable symptoms at the time. He performed oral sex and I was diagnosed a few days later, around the same time the tell tale blisters appeared on his lip. Thankfully I’ve only had one recurrence since then and was extremely mild. Ever since my diagnosis I’ve felt dirty and unlovable. I’m worried that even though he says I’m not dirty; he believes it and he won’t want to be with me anymore. I can’t help but feel like my diagnosis was my fault and that if I had just remained celibate nothing would have happened to me. I feel like I have all these negative thoughts surrounding sex all of a sudden and I’m afraid to do it. I want to be with him like we were but I’m so afraid and I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking that maybe I should leave him and be on my own so I don’t have to deal with it but I don’t want that at all. I love him I’m just worried he won’t love me anymore. What can I do to help get rid of these feelings and be ready to have sex again?

    #45009
    Chaz
    Participant

    I got diagnosed a few months ago, my swab couldn’t be tested because it was out of date and when they tried to swab again there wasn’t any point. I tried to ask for a blood test but my GP refused so I am still in denial. At the beginning Of this year I felt an impending doom as my 30th birthday would approach in 3 yrs. I felt scared and wasn’t sure if I wanted to be with my partner still. My mistake was that I told him this and started partying and going to see my friends every weekend to try and find my new lease of life again. This has lead him to believe that I have possibly cheated on him but that is not the case. Anyway fast forward 6 months and I have been diagnosed with herpes, I want to tell him, I have recently realised that actually he is an amazing man and what I was going through was something personal to me – but I am scared of losing him and our life. My kid’s are only 2 & 3 and our life is perfect. A little bland but I like it and it works for us. I know pretty he hasn’t strayed and if he has it hasn’t been recently. I very highly doubt this is from him and at the beginning of our relationship just before I met him I had ghonorrea. He found out and was fine with it but I am assuming it is from the same person. Obviously when I had the kids I had a full STD screen and also had one when I had gonorrhea so I am really confused. I am so scared about telling him because I feel like he will instantly think I have cheated and will kick me out. How can I live with this and protect him and our life together at the same time?

    #45007
    Candysleeper
    Participant

    Recently diagnosed and I haven’t told anyone. Not my parents, my closest friends, literally no one. I dont plan on it either only because I know theyll worry and feel bad and I dont want them to since im fine and they really dont have to know since theyre obviously not at risk of getting it from me. But, this post is about a guy I really like who I know likes me back. The problem is, our parents are friends with eachother. Good friends. So in the case that we do get together I would need to disclose to him. I would just like for everyone here to let me know the best ways to do so (because i also fear rejection from it since im pretty sure hes a virgin so i feel like that definitely comes with stigma), and i would practically beg him not to tell his family cause theyll tell mine and ugh. Our family being friends just makes it harder. Ive finally come to terms with it and would hate for that to come crashing down from getting rejected from a guy i really. Really. Like. Any support helps, thanks all for reading it since it is a bit lengthy.

    #45006
    Bree
    Participant

    Hello everyone…my name is Bree. This last week I was recently diagnosed with Herpes. I have so many mixed emotions right now. I have been talking with the guy I am now dating for about four months. We decided to take the next step after visits, constant communication and planning that he move to my area and we would be together. That was a HUGE step for me because I have not been in a relationship for almost five years. I thought I was doing all the right things…I even waited until after he was here to sleep with him. Well about 6 days after we had sex, I began to have horrible pain and decided to go to the doctor. That day she confirmed what became my worst nightmare. I went back to the house and talked to him. He told me he had herpes. He began saying he has never given it to anyone and has had it for 8 years. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I still don’t. I have cried…a lot. I am mad and I am angry. I am not this girl…I have always been careful and I thought I was doing it all the right way. Why?!? There are thoughts that go through my mind like did he do this on purpose? To trap me in a sense?! But then I think like ..no he’s a good guy he wouldn’t do that. I don’t know what to do or how to control my racing thoughts. I have thought about ending it with him, but then again here I am with it so I feel like why wouldn’t I stay now. I’m so confused and lost in this whole situation. I feel like what I have prided myself on my whole life of “not being that type of girl” is over. How do I carry on. What from here?
    Also any advice for the breakouts would be helpful. Mine are painful and using the bathroom is a nightmare sat this point. I am now on day three of my medication and I’m hoping this outbreak goes away soon.

    Bree

    #44995
    spiritbird444
    Participant

    I just had an outbreak, the 3rd one I’ve had since I was diagnosed in 2017. I have genital HSV1. I got it from an ex who had a coldsore. Since my diagnosis I have slowly and completely changed my entire life. I went from being a sociable outgoing person with a ton of friends to being an introvert who never goes out and has very few close connections. I realised today that I’ve isolated myself over the past five years, subconsciously telling myself I can never get my life back, that I can’t travel, that I’ll never find a relationship. It’s manifested in me just staying in and watching tv all the time and overeating. I realised when I had my outbreak this week that I’m in a much better place about it now than I was in 2017 and the following years. I had a lot of shame. I don’t have the same shame but I still haven’t really told anyone I know. I feel like I won’t be accepted. I’d love to have people to talk to and be myself so I hope I can make some connections in here.

    #44993
    armada_05wheel
    Participant

    I was diagnosed 3 years ago after ending up in A&E unable to pee. I’ve never experienced pain like it. I had an ulcer that split right across my urethra.
    I was on morphine and had to be catheterised.
    They said the first outbreak is the worst and subsequent outbreaks have been mild. I’ve had two in three years.
    Then, last week I had a lump the size of a Brussels sprout appear in my armpit. A week later I had one on the edge of my vulva. Then I just became enveloped in sores from front to back and my mouth has never had so many sores.
    It’s been horrendous. Ended up in A&E with a catheter that I’ve taken home with me for five days and oxycodone for the pain. I’m finally healing but this is the worst outbreak I’ve had.
    I have a new partner and he has been so understanding. He said he’s not going anywhere which is amazing but I still feel so disgusting that his new girlfriend has HSV -1.
    Do any of you have any remedies to cope with the sores so that I don’t keep needing catheters? I can’t keep going to A&E like this it’s destroying my soul. I’m going to try suppression therapy but will I live with these horrendous outbreaks for the rest of my life? Any help will be greatly received.

    #44991
    Rachel
    Participant

    Hi everyone. I was diagnosed about one year ago after a bad first OB. Sometimes I forgot about it because I haven’t had an OB since the first one and I think that being concerned about hsv is wild because it’s a mild skin condition at worst. A lot of the time it’s no big deal to me but the social stigma surrounding it is so frustrating. I’ve been seeing someone for almost a year now and we’ve never slept together, he’s just too afraid. Sometimes, like tonight, it just gets me down knowing we really have no future together because he’ll never get past it. And sometimes it just makes me feel so small knowing he’s afraid of my body.

    Does anyone have dating tips? It can be such a mild virus but navigating the social stigma can feel like such an uphill battle.

    #44989
    Skittles123
    Participant

    Hey girly,

    I am in a similar situation and selfishly find your story comforting to know I’m not the only one out there. Having herpes has definitely changed my life and has put me into a depression in the past but trying to look on the bright side with success stories has slightly helped. I was diagnosed in 2020 while in the beginning stages of a relationship who then became a long term boyfriend. We both had outbreaks to later find out it was HSV2. We will never know who gave it to who or where it really came from but I guess it doesn’t matter at this point. He was not the most emotionally intelligent and both having it lead me to not have to deal with it then and burry my emotions which I am now dealing with two years later.

    We broke up a few months ago for other reasons and I am now recently learning how to navigate dating with our condition. I am still confused on how to ever approach the situation and have been advised by doctors that if you are on medication there is barely any chance of passing it on and you can be intimate without disclosing. But the thought of giving it to someone else without telling them makes me feel terrible and I don’t know if I could go through with that.

    I have a friend with HSV2 who was intimate with someone she was dating (while on medication for it) and then told him a couple months after. He was so supportive and comforting and they have been dating for 3 years now.

    I have another girlfriend who has it, she was dating a guy and held off for months to become intimate and then when she decided she was ready she told him and got a positive, supportive response. They just got married last week! It really is a case by case kind of situation.

    I think if you meet someone where you have a connection, try to hold off the intimacy. This is maybe one of the only positives to our situation, it has lead us really evaluate on who you choose to be intimate with. If you can see someone has good intentions and really likes you for you then its time to have the conversation, and if they react negatively then it wasn’t meant to be and I’m sure other issues of them being a shitty, judgemental person would of come up further down the line. I am definitely not a prude and have had a few one night stands but since my diagnosis I have realized sex is kind of a big deal and can’t be having it with just anybody.

    Herpes is really just a stupid skin condition like Brooke said. But trust me, it gets better and easier to deal with. Hearing success stories from girls I know has really helped and also helped me normalize it. I am more recently dealing with it and know how dark and lonely it can get. Just know you’re not alone and the right person is out there for you <3

    #44988
    tinypaws930
    Participant

    Hey I was diagnosed about two months ago and the exact same thing happened to me I’m 17 and started talking to a guy he didn’t tell me he had a girlfriend and proceeded to be with me knowing she had herpes and so did I think it’s the worse my health has been during my first outbreak i really thought and hoped it was a uti but it wasn’t I had a 106 fever I couldn’t walk extremely painful I had bad sores I cried when I first saw them my gums also swelled and got very red I also got a cold sore on my younger I didn’t have any appetite for like almost two weeks I lost weight it also hurt to eat because my mouth was in so much pain it was traumatic and the fact that I had to go to planned parenthood hood alone because I didn’t want to tell my parents (they ended up finding out) I was put on antivirals and it went away in about 3 days at first it wasn’t bad but recently I’ve fallen into a dark hole I thought I would be better but I’m not I feel invalid I don’t feel like me and I’ve had breakdowns and suicidal thoughts my mental health is the worse it’s ever been and he’s happy with someone and I feel like he took the opportunity to find love my confidence, me.I still see hope for the future and I’m doing better then I think.I’m pretty sure I have type one and type two because after finals I got like 6 cold sores in my mouth but I since things like a lot of stress can trigger an outbreak (I decided not to be on medicine during this time )have not had any outbreaks at all down there . And I guess it’s not that bad physically but very mentally draining I hope I make it through this I just got on suppressive therapy and I feel normal. It will take alot of time and healing but we got this 🙂

    #44960
    mnfirehorse66
    Participant

    Hello, just letting you know I read your message and that sounds really upsetting. I’m sorry that happened to you. I was just diagnosed yesterday and I’ve been in a monogamous marriage for 18 years. Never got this until now. It’s so upsetting, and just incredibly physically painful. The guys definitely don’t suffer as we do. Hope you are feeling better as time goes by.

Viewing 15 results - 1 through 15 (of 1,606 total)