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    hi, i was never suggested to go on suppressive meds and i didnt know they were even a thing. Can someone tell me how effective they are and what they do in terms of transmission chances and outbreaks? also what sort of suppressive meds are available, i really want to start taking them but i want some background info first. Thank you:)


    I’ve had this for a few years now. I recently hung out with a guy that I’m into. In the heat of the moment, he touched my genitals. I’m not 100% positive, but I believe he touched his after. I’ve done research trying to determine the possibility of transmission. I’m not having an outbreak, but I am nervous for him. I’m also not ready to disclose. I’m not sure if I want to take things that far. Should I be worried?


    Dear both <3
    First off all, this is not the end of the world, it was a shock to me when diagnosed in January, but now I am feeling totally normal again.

    Second, there are so many out there carrying the Herpes Simplex virus, because this is what it is. Herpes Simplex. And they dont know. I got it from a new boyfriend that did not show any typical symptoms, at least what he told me, but I am convinced it was transmitted orally as I only got a few blister outside inner labia.

    Anyway, depending on how you are breaking out, it can transmit via sex during an outbreak. My doctor told me that the chance of transmission (shedding) is almost ZERO when I am not breaking out.

    It will only transmit skin to skin, so you should not worry about transmission to other than sexual partners, but make sure to obtain normal hygiene and always have a Valtrex in hand in case of new outbreaks. So far I have only had the one. XO


    Also I would like to add that suppressive therapy lowers your chances of passing it on to your partner but it doesn’t prevent transmission 100%. It also doesn’t prevent outbreaks. It only shortens the amount of time you have the outbreak and the severity of it.


    I was diagnosed around 18 months ago..

    I have had constant outbreaks since then. No oozing blisters just red rashes and constant tingling on genital area. During this time my glands around my neck become swollen on and off which I’m guessing is a sign of lymph nodes trying to fight virus.

    I have tried Valtrex and Famvir. Valtrex makes symptoms more bearable but doesn’t completely make virus dormant again. I have changed diet to plant based diet, I don’t drink alcohol, I take lysine and immune boosting supps everyday. None of these measure are heaping at all and I constantly have this outbreak which is causing me to become mentally exhausted and toward breaking point. My partner and I havnt had for 6 months due to the fact I’m scared of transmission and we are looking at having children at the end of the year.

    I have booked in to see an infectious disease doctor to see if there are alternate measures in become ik ng station free and bring my quality of life back. I can exercise due to symptoms flaring up and causing issues to get worse

    Is anyone out there having a similar experience and if so what measures are you taking to control symptoms.? To date I have spent $$$ on a ridiculous amount of remedies.

    Please help!


    Hello! I was wondering how casual sex would work? If I’m not ready for a relationship then I’m certainly ready to disclose my HSV2 diagnosis with someone I’m having casual sex with. I am on a gram of valtrex a day and take it on time each day. I know that transmission rates are low with condoms and the suppressive therapy so is there really a reason to disclose my status with someone?


    Hello, the same thing happens to me with a guy I really like. I believe what we are experiencing is psychological. Although it may not be in our forethought, I believe there is a hidden anxiety we are experiencing…whether it’s about transmission, about how he will respond when you are intimate, about how you will be, it could be any number of things. So, I believe he could be a trigger (an unconscious stressor) to your outbreaks.


    In reply to: Dating with HSV-2


    I sort of had success. The guy I told was really nice about it, but said he wanted certain boundaries. We’re non monogamous and he has been seeing a couple of other women who say they’ve been tested and are negative for everything. Apparently when he told them about my status, they each said they don’t want him having sex with me, even with protection. He didn’t tell me this until today and well it really hurt. It made me feel like he was choosing them over me, because he said that if they weren’t in the picture, he would want to sleep with me. I’m feeling very low self worth and like I’ve been discarded by someone I feel a connection with. I think he feels it too, he seemed really conflicted when we talked. We’ve left it at being just friends for now but I don’t know if I can do it. I want to say I can but I’m hurting.

    My past experience dating with herpes hasn’t been so bad. This guy is actually the first one who has been apprehensive and it seems like just because he has other partners. I believe if it was just us, he would. My past partners have made the calculated risk. With most, we used protection but some didn’t mind since there’s still a chance of transmission with condoms. They decided I was worth the risk. (Which feels so wonderful after time spent feeling less than after my diagnosis). I have never transmitted to anyone either. I’ve kept myself on suppressant drugs and am lucky to only have one outbreak a year at most.

    It sounds like you have a good connection with the guy you’re seeing. I say go for it. Tell him. Chances are he will accept you. And if he doesn’t, it’s his loss and not worth your time. We all deserve to be with people who see us for ourselves and not our STI. Good luck!

    Dr. Kelly


    I’m sending you a big hug over the internet to let you know that you are in good hands.

    Unless you have sores on your breasts or on your lips, there is no way you could transfer this to your baby.

    This infection is spread through skin to skin contact, generally at the site of the original infection.

    I highly recommend you read the chapter on herpes and pregnancy in my book. I also outline facts about being a mother of a child and living with herpes.

    Most children contract HSV-1 or herpes type one from a loved one who has a cold sore on their mouth and they transfer the virus through kissing the child.

    If you have never had a cold sore, then you won’t need to worry about this form of transmission.

    Sending Love,
    Dr. Kelly


    In 2011, I had a painful sore on my upper back and it was misdiagnosed as shingles. I changed doctors and got a culture of the area done after a recurrence and it tested positive for HSV; however, I never saw the results and they didn’t type it. Two years later, I had one small bump on my vulva and it was cultured for HSV; however, that was not typed either because the doctor said since it was on my genitals it was “genital herpes” and I was mortified. I had a very bad outbreak on my upper back two years ago and started suppressive therapy because I did not want to go through that pain again. I have been outbreak free for almost two years now and have not transmitted to my partner, although the anxiety is always there. He is aware of my diagnosis. Does anyone have any information on suppressive therapy and transmission rates? Also, has anyone had lesions on the upper part of their body? I’ve only had one sore on my vulva since I 2011 and all of the other outbreaks have been on my upper back. Any information is greatly appreciated!

    Star Love

    With meds like Valtrex, transmission rate is super low and it will keep the worst symptoms at bay. I’m glad I went to a doctor and started the med. I also had a bacterial infection, so it can upset the balance in your body but be proactive and positive. You aren’t alone here!

    Star Love

    There is definitely more stigma with genital herpes, but really you shouldn’t feel ashamed at all. 1 out 4 people have it, it’s very common and you can take suppression medications to minimize your symptoms and likelihood of transmission. You are not broken, or prone to catch anything else as you were before. The right person will not reject you over this, because as soon as you start realizing that this does not define you in any way, you will start to feel better. You can lead a very normal life and just learn about it, talk to a doctor and take it one day at a time.

    Dr. Kelly

    Hello Alex,
    I am so glad that you found this sisterhood of women with herpes so early in your journey. This is a safe place for you to feel supported and uplifted.

    You’ve got some great questions that I can start to address for you.
    1. 99% of the time HSV2 is found genitally. Do you know if you were tested for HSV1? If you are negative for HSV1, then we know that for you, there is less than a 1% chance that you have oral herpes from hsv2. What this would mean for you in this scenario is that your risk factor in transmitting herpes orally is incredibly rare.
    2. There is no way to decrease risk transmission to 0%. Condoms and antivirals decrease transmission rates, but nothing can bring the risk to 0. That said, many committed monogamous couples who know each other’s sti status, are willing to take the risk without using condoms.
    3. Be open and honest with future partners. Go to our resources tab and download our free Do’s and Don’ts fact sheet for disclosing your herpes status.
    4. If you have hsv2 it does not indicate you also have hsv1.
    Hope this helps. For more detailed information and private group support, consider purchasing our course.

    Many Blessings,
    Dr. Kelly


    In reply to: Exposed?


    Hi Kristy, I’m sure that’s a very hard decision to make for your future. I would say if you love him and want to be with him the future, then maybe it’d be worth it to expose yourself to possible transmission. However, I truly hope you don’t contract it. It’s hell, especially the first outbreak. If you feel any tingling or bumps coming on, go to the doctor right away and get some meds for it because I don’t want you to experience the burning pee feeling. I’m sorry I don’t have better advice, but I hope I can put it into a little outside perspective for you. Good luck!


    In reply to: Transmission to eye


    Gosh transmission sounds unlikely but I’d consult with an ophthalmologist to set your mind at rest.

Viewing 15 results - 31 through 45 (of 92 total)