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  • #39551

    In reply to: Exposed?


    Hi Kristy, I’m sure that’s a very hard decision to make for your future. I would say if you love him and want to be with him the future, then maybe it’d be worth it to expose yourself to possible transmission. However, I truly hope you don’t contract it. It’s hell, especially the first outbreak. If you feel any tingling or bumps coming on, go to the doctor right away and get some meds for it because I don’t want you to experience the burning pee feeling. I’m sorry I don’t have better advice, but I hope I can put it into a little outside perspective for you. Good luck!


    In reply to: Transmission to eye


    Gosh transmission sounds unlikely but I’d consult with an ophthalmologist to set your mind at rest.


    Summer S.

    Hello ladies, thank you for taking the time to read my post. About a week ago I was having an outbreak, I believe, and accidentally touched the sore. I washed my hands with body soap immediately and followed by hand soap once I got out of the showered. I took my eye contacts out after and instantly had a horrible gut feeling.

    It had now been 9 days and my eye feels a bit strange. It feels uncomfortable and I am worried I may have transmitted to my eye.

    I have been harboring this alone and I am in need of some support and guidance.

    Love and light.


    In reply to: Just diagnosed.


    Has he been tested? He may be positive. My understanding as a layperson is that the female transmission rate to a male with antivirals and a condom is 1% per year. So you can likely keep him safe if he is negative. I kind of imagine he’s positive if you are. Just a guess. Remember that it’s a skin rash, not a moral indictment of your character as a person. People get eczema and we don’t excoriate them.



    I’m not an expert so I defer to Dr. Kelly but here is what I understand statistically. For asymptomatic people, due to viral shedding, with no protection there’s a 4% risk per year of transmission. With condoms the risk is 2%. With anti-virals and condoms the risk is 1%. Seems unlikely you infected him but… it’s possible. I’d let him know the situation so he can be tested so he doesn’t, worst case, become an asymptomatic carrier who infects someone in the future.


    when i was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 3 months ago i was out of the country. the doctor at the sexual health clinic told me that a lot of people have HSV 1 anyway, and that it can only be passed on during an outbreak.

    i recently had sex with a partner (one time unprotected, one time protected) and didn’t disclose my HSV-1 status because i wasn’t having an outbreak. (FYI my first ever outbreak was very mild, and maybe lasted 4 days with antiviral medication – no flu symptoms just sores).

    after the sex i felt worried, and low and behold saw through some of my own research that it can be transmitted even when there is no outbreak. what is the likelihood of those two occasions transmitting something? i’m stressing about the situation quite a lot.



    I’m also quite new to this, so I’ll just share my experience and hope it helps you.
    I’ve been diagnosed with genital HSV1 in October 2018. Since my first outbreak I have had 5 months of total peace (without the medication), and then my life turned super stressful, so I had kind of a continuous outbreak for 3 months. Valtrex only made my symptoms milder, but nothing fully stopped that da*n herpes. I must confess though, I had very very few blisters altogether, mostly just prodromal symptoms of burning and pain, so I was not able to sit properly or wear underwear for about 1 month – I used my boyfriends boxer panties instead. Anyway, I have seen all the doctors about it and all they could offer me was continuous Valtrex use of 1000mg per day for a few months, and later 500mg… and waiting. Of course, I understand that it takes time and mine gradually got better. Although I still experience some burning and “cuts” for a few days every month.

    Regarding transmission… I’d say try to avoid genital sex at the time of prodromes or outbreak (though I know it’s hard), but at the time of no symptoms, I guess you/your partner would be fine.

    I’d like to ask the “veterans” of this – how long did it take for you for the outbreaks to get less frequent? To about 4-6 per year?



    I’m really new to all of this so I don’t know how much help I can be, but I’ve been testing the waters by telling my friends. I’ve come to find that a lot of people don’t react negatively toward the information, but are supportive. It also isn’t guaranteed that sexual partners will get the virus, I think it’s important to keep doing your research and see how you can diminish the risk of transmission.

    Good luck, and you’re not alone



    Hello everyone,

    For the ladies who have had herpes for a while , what has your experience been with recurrence? I have had HSV2 for over a year and experience outbreaks about once a month at most and more often then not I experience nerve/leg/back pain that indicates the virus is active. This is with use of supplements and suppressive therapy with antivirals. I know the statistics say chance of transmission is 4-1% but That cannot possibly be accurate for those with frequent Outbreaks. I’ve not tried dating yet, but when I do I’m not sure what to say about the likelihood of
    Transmission. I almost feel like I have to say if you sleep with me you will most likely get the virus 😟. Has anyone who has experienced such recurrent outbreaks had luck not spreading it to their partner ?



    I honestly would see another doctor. Transmission prevention is very important especially in your first year because of your recent exposure. You can spread the virus even without a breakout present, It is a skin to skin transmission and even just a slight itch every now and then can be the infection.



    When i asked my gynecologist about taking suppressive therapy he told me it was only for people with constant outbreaks. but i wanted to get on it to reduce the possibility of transmission in case i ever had a partner in the future. i’m sure it would put their mind at ease knowing i was less contagious. when i also told the doctor that my partner didn’t have HSV2 he kind of brushed me off and said “well let’s not worry about that because you already have it”. he didn’t answer any of my questions or put my mind at ease.

    • This reply was modified 1 month ago by  shey.

    In reply to: TTC with HSV

    Dr. Kelly

    Great question Tay!
    If you are wanting to get pregnant, then you will need to remove the condom. It doesn’t sound like your symptoms are frequent, which is great. Unfortunately, there is not a way to protect your husband 100%, but transmission rates are still single digits as long as you don’t have intercourse with any symptoms.
    Good luck and keep us posted.
    BTW, we just had a women give birth naturally in our community and baby and Mamma are doing great. This is quote common.
    If you need more support, let’s get on the phone and explore 1:1 coaching. I have helped many couples move through this, get pregnant and ease their fears.
    Dr. Kelly


    In reply to: New Diagnosis


    Oh yes that does very much! I have been terrified of how I am going to tell someone in the future. But knowing the likelihood of transmission is less than 3% is wonderful! I will talk to my gyno about the daily valtrex! Thank you so much!


    In reply to: New Diagnosis


    Hello. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I am newly diagnosed as well but he knew he was infected and coerced me into thinking that it was an infected scratch and not a herpes sore. I ended up getting it. For me, the morning after, I woke up with the worst fever and headache. Then the sores started and boy were they painful. They are some blood tests that supposedly test if you were infected long term or short term, but when I did it both were negative. When i had gotten another outbreak I went to my gyno and she swabbed the sores and got a good sample for testing. It came back positive. But yes, you’re right, whether he has it or not shouldn’t be a concern for you anymore. Focus on yourself and your health because that’s what matters most. 🙂

    The best test is swabbing the sores for culture. The virus lives in the nerve root in the area that you were infected and it is very difficult to detect sometimes with testing. It is also important that you don’t have sex while you have an outbreak until you’re fully healed. I take daily 500mg valtrex and sometimes take vitamin c and zinc as well. I have not been intimate with anyone since my diagnosis but I was told by my gyno that with daily valtrex use and using condoms, the transmission rate is less than 3%. Hope this helps!


    Dr. Kelly

    Having someone need distance after this is a common response.
    Do you know some of the facts about transmission to help him through this?
    If not, be sure to download our free “The Facts” download from our website by going to resources>the Facts

    Keep us posted.

    Live. Love. Thrive.
    Dr. Kelly

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