Search Results for 'Transmission'

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    In reply to: Dating with HSV-2


    I sort of had success. The guy I told was really nice about it, but said he wanted certain boundaries. We’re non monogamous and he has been seeing a couple of other women who say they’ve been tested and are negative for everything. Apparently when he told them about my status, they each said they don’t want him having sex with me, even with protection. He didn’t tell me this until today and well it really hurt. It made me feel like he was choosing them over me, because he said that if they weren’t in the picture, he would want to sleep with me. I’m feeling very low self worth and like I’ve been discarded by someone I feel a connection with. I think he feels it too, he seemed really conflicted when we talked. We’ve left it at being just friends for now but I don’t know if I can do it. I want to say I can but I’m hurting.

    My past experience dating with herpes hasn’t been so bad. This guy is actually the first one who has been apprehensive and it seems like just because he has other partners. I believe if it was just us, he would. My past partners have made the calculated risk. With most, we used protection but some didn’t mind since there’s still a chance of transmission with condoms. They decided I was worth the risk. (Which feels so wonderful after time spent feeling less than after my diagnosis). I have never transmitted to anyone either. I’ve kept myself on suppressant drugs and am lucky to only have one outbreak a year at most.

    It sounds like you have a good connection with the guy you’re seeing. I say go for it. Tell him. Chances are he will accept you. And if he doesn’t, it’s his loss and not worth your time. We all deserve to be with people who see us for ourselves and not our STI. Good luck!

    Dr. Kelly


    I’m sending you a big hug over the internet to let you know that you are in good hands.

    Unless you have sores on your breasts or on your lips, there is no way you could transfer this to your baby.

    This infection is spread through skin to skin contact, generally at the site of the original infection.

    I highly recommend you read the chapter on herpes and pregnancy in my book. I also outline facts about being a mother of a child and living with herpes.

    Most children contract HSV-1 or herpes type one from a loved one who has a cold sore on their mouth and they transfer the virus through kissing the child.

    If you have never had a cold sore, then you won’t need to worry about this form of transmission.

    Sending Love,
    Dr. Kelly


    In 2011, I had a painful sore on my upper back and it was misdiagnosed as shingles. I changed doctors and got a culture of the area done after a recurrence and it tested positive for HSV; however, I never saw the results and they didn’t type it. Two years later, I had one small bump on my vulva and it was cultured for HSV; however, that was not typed either because the doctor said since it was on my genitals it was “genital herpes” and I was mortified. I had a very bad outbreak on my upper back two years ago and started suppressive therapy because I did not want to go through that pain again. I have been outbreak free for almost two years now and have not transmitted to my partner, although the anxiety is always there. He is aware of my diagnosis. Does anyone have any information on suppressive therapy and transmission rates? Also, has anyone had lesions on the upper part of their body? I’ve only had one sore on my vulva since I 2011 and all of the other outbreaks have been on my upper back. Any information is greatly appreciated!

    Star Love

    With meds like Valtrex, transmission rate is super low and it will keep the worst symptoms at bay. I’m glad I went to a doctor and started the med. I also had a bacterial infection, so it can upset the balance in your body but be proactive and positive. You aren’t alone here!

    Star Love

    There is definitely more stigma with genital herpes, but really you shouldn’t feel ashamed at all. 1 out 4 people have it, it’s very common and you can take suppression medications to minimize your symptoms and likelihood of transmission. You are not broken, or prone to catch anything else as you were before. The right person will not reject you over this, because as soon as you start realizing that this does not define you in any way, you will start to feel better. You can lead a very normal life and just learn about it, talk to a doctor and take it one day at a time.

    Dr. Kelly

    Hello Alex,
    I am so glad that you found this sisterhood of women with herpes so early in your journey. This is a safe place for you to feel supported and uplifted.

    You’ve got some great questions that I can start to address for you.
    1. 99% of the time HSV2 is found genitally. Do you know if you were tested for HSV1? If you are negative for HSV1, then we know that for you, there is less than a 1% chance that you have oral herpes from hsv2. What this would mean for you in this scenario is that your risk factor in transmitting herpes orally is incredibly rare.
    2. There is no way to decrease risk transmission to 0%. Condoms and antivirals decrease transmission rates, but nothing can bring the risk to 0. That said, many committed monogamous couples who know each other’s sti status, are willing to take the risk without using condoms.
    3. Be open and honest with future partners. Go to our resources tab and download our free Do’s and Don’ts fact sheet for disclosing your herpes status.
    4. If you have hsv2 it does not indicate you also have hsv1.
    Hope this helps. For more detailed information and private group support, consider purchasing our course.

    Many Blessings,
    Dr. Kelly


    In reply to: Exposed?


    Hi Kristy, I’m sure that’s a very hard decision to make for your future. I would say if you love him and want to be with him the future, then maybe it’d be worth it to expose yourself to possible transmission. However, I truly hope you don’t contract it. It’s hell, especially the first outbreak. If you feel any tingling or bumps coming on, go to the doctor right away and get some meds for it because I don’t want you to experience the burning pee feeling. I’m sorry I don’t have better advice, but I hope I can put it into a little outside perspective for you. Good luck!


    In reply to: Transmission to eye


    Gosh transmission sounds unlikely but I’d consult with an ophthalmologist to set your mind at rest.

    Summer S.

    Hello ladies, thank you for taking the time to read my post. About a week ago I was having an outbreak, I believe, and accidentally touched the sore. I washed my hands with body soap immediately and followed by hand soap once I got out of the showered. I took my eye contacts out after and instantly had a horrible gut feeling.

    It had now been 9 days and my eye feels a bit strange. It feels uncomfortable and I am worried I may have transmitted to my eye.

    I have been harboring this alone and I am in need of some support and guidance.

    Love and light.


    In reply to: Just diagnosed.


    Has he been tested? He may be positive. My understanding as a layperson is that the female transmission rate to a male with antivirals and a condom is 1% per year. So you can likely keep him safe if he is negative. I kind of imagine he’s positive if you are. Just a guess. Remember that it’s a skin rash, not a moral indictment of your character as a person. People get eczema and we don’t excoriate them.


    I’m not an expert so I defer to Dr. Kelly but here is what I understand statistically. For asymptomatic people, due to viral shedding, with no protection there’s a 4% risk per year of transmission. With condoms the risk is 2%. With anti-virals and condoms the risk is 1%. Seems unlikely you infected him but… it’s possible. I’d let him know the situation so he can be tested so he doesn’t, worst case, become an asymptomatic carrier who infects someone in the future.


    when i was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 3 months ago i was out of the country. the doctor at the sexual health clinic told me that a lot of people have HSV 1 anyway, and that it can only be passed on during an outbreak.

    i recently had sex with a partner (one time unprotected, one time protected) and didn’t disclose my HSV-1 status because i wasn’t having an outbreak. (FYI my first ever outbreak was very mild, and maybe lasted 4 days with antiviral medication – no flu symptoms just sores).

    after the sex i felt worried, and low and behold saw through some of my own research that it can be transmitted even when there is no outbreak. what is the likelihood of those two occasions transmitting something? i’m stressing about the situation quite a lot.


    I’m also quite new to this, so I’ll just share my experience and hope it helps you.
    I’ve been diagnosed with genital HSV1 in October 2018. Since my first outbreak I have had 5 months of total peace (without the medication), and then my life turned super stressful, so I had kind of a continuous outbreak for 3 months. Valtrex only made my symptoms milder, but nothing fully stopped that da*n herpes. I must confess though, I had very very few blisters altogether, mostly just prodromal symptoms of burning and pain, so I was not able to sit properly or wear underwear for about 1 month – I used my boyfriends boxer panties instead. Anyway, I have seen all the doctors about it and all they could offer me was continuous Valtrex use of 1000mg per day for a few months, and later 500mg… and waiting. Of course, I understand that it takes time and mine gradually got better. Although I still experience some burning and “cuts” for a few days every month.

    Regarding transmission… I’d say try to avoid genital sex at the time of prodromes or outbreak (though I know it’s hard), but at the time of no symptoms, I guess you/your partner would be fine.

    I’d like to ask the “veterans” of this – how long did it take for you for the outbreaks to get less frequent? To about 4-6 per year?


    I’m really new to all of this so I don’t know how much help I can be, but I’ve been testing the waters by telling my friends. I’ve come to find that a lot of people don’t react negatively toward the information, but are supportive. It also isn’t guaranteed that sexual partners will get the virus, I think it’s important to keep doing your research and see how you can diminish the risk of transmission.

    Good luck, and you’re not alone


    Hello everyone,

    For the ladies who have had herpes for a while , what has your experience been with recurrence? I have had HSV2 for over a year and experience outbreaks about once a month at most and more often then not I experience nerve/leg/back pain that indicates the virus is active. This is with use of supplements and suppressive therapy with antivirals. I know the statistics say chance of transmission is 4-1% but That cannot possibly be accurate for those with frequent Outbreaks. I’ve not tried dating yet, but when I do I’m not sure what to say about the likelihood of
    Transmission. I almost feel like I have to say if you sleep with me you will most likely get the virus 😟. Has anyone who has experienced such recurrent outbreaks had luck not spreading it to their partner ?

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