Search Results for 'Transmission'

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  • #22492

    Happyhopeful
    Participant

    Hi, Miss Delilah!

    I believe it is always worthwhile to get a blood test so that you know what is going on in your body. Knowledge is power!

    I would say, now that you do know you have either HSV 1, 2 or both erring on the side of integrity and full disclosure is always best.

    Many of the cases of HSV transmission happens without the giver knowing they have herpes (85% of the population who has herpes does not know it) because they are in the category of ‘asymptomatic carrier’and have no signs or symptom.

    I always think that it is best to disclose so that potential partners have know the risk and can make a decision for their own health and wellness.

    I love this link. Watch the video, the doc is very thorough – super informative. http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/stdsstis/herpes/fast-facts-and-faqs/

    Also, check out the facts about herpes on this website. Under the ‘Herpes’ tab.

    I hope this helps.

    • This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  Happyhopeful.
    • This reply was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  Happyhopeful.
    #22253

    Dr. Kelly
    Keymaster

    I totally understand where you are coming from and I know this is all new to you. The first thing I notice here is the assumption that you will be rejected or that it’s not worth his time. The real question you should be answering is “is he worth your time?” You are worthy of a fantastic partner! Many guys are ready to jump in the sack immediately and there are many women that are willing to do that even if they aren’t ready. I encourage you to take your time getting to know this guy. If HE is worthy of the talk, then we at Pink Tent can help you to disclose. If you take valtrex daily and he uses a condom and you have no symptoms, then the chances are about 1% risk of transmission. You are most contagious at the site of where your symptoms are if you do in fact get symptoms. What I want you to think about is also, what might he have or what might be a deal breaker for you? Use herpes as a great screening tool to determine if a guy is even worthy of YOUR time and affection, not the other way around.

    #18711

    Dr. Kelly
    Keymaster

    It is true that HSV 2 was most likely contracted sexually. Even if you two were virgins, any kind of sexual contact can lead to transmission. Intercourse is not a requirement for transmission. Unfortunately, you will probably never learn where you contracted the virus since there is no way to tell. What you want to do is start moving in the direction of healing and peace. This is possible for you and is my wish for you.

    #15430

    In reply to:


    EJFM

    The reason for my seeking support and knowledge now is that I feel like I was in a bit of denial or nonchalance for so many years – I was diagnosed with HSV2 after having sex with a guy using a condom one time. The next year, I got married and didn’t disclose – I have other chronic diseases (type 1 diabetes and thyroiditis) and had had HPV / abnormal pap in college. Perhaps I thought this wasn’t as serious or required so much attention or didn’t want to admit that I could infect others, not sure now. But anyway, I very rarely had outbreaks and treated them much like the rest of my vaginal health – with T1D, I have frequent Bacterial and Yeast infections, and so was super aware of changes, would treat appropriately, and abstain from sex during treatment and outbreaks alike. And as I stated, never had frequent outbreaks. At one point during my marriage, I talked to my husband about it, he also had symptoms and we agreed that we didn’t have much information about who infected whom, although in retrospect, I probably was afraid to own up to it. He was probably cheating on me anyway, so he avoided the topic and we went about our lives.

    Fast forward I divorced my husband about 5 years ago, while pregnant with our second child. I started a wonderful relationship with a man a year after and still did not think about disclosing until I had symptoms, told him, and treated it. He took it very well, we had protected sex, we were diligent about checking each other for symptoms and outbreaks and we carried on. That relationship ended for other reasons after 3 years. To my knowledge, he did not contract HSV from me at all.

    Starting last summer, I began dating again, and definitely taking advantage of my 40-something sex drive, and was casually seeing a couple of men at the same time, mostly using protection until committing to one person about 4 or 5 months ago. I STILL DID NOT have ‘the talk!’ I guess I believed that because outbreaks were so infrequent, and I was so aware, that my risk of transmitting to him was very low – at least as low as him or I just being out and having sex socially would be. Meaning that the level of risk was equivalent to our previous sex lives experience.

    I had a recent outbreak following sex, just before he left to visit family on a vacation. I contacted him right away and told him that I had a HSV outbreak and he should keep an eye out for any symptoms. I again, took it seriously, but from a quite clinical point of view, and didn’t consider his possible range of reactions. He completely freaked out. Many angst-filled text messages (he refused to take my calls) it was CLEAR that he was operating from a place of fear and ignorance and I was completely oblivious of the impact that my blunt honesty would have on him. I still haven’t seen him in person, we plan to on Sunday, because following his trip, I am now on a work trip abroad. I feel like on Sunday I have to explain myself, my rationale, admit my mistake in not disclosing sooner, AND do some serious evidence based education with him. I feel pretty awful about hurting him and betraying him. I really would never have intended that, and that has been really tough on me, not that I expect any sympathy from him.

    His reaction made me dig deeper and seek more knowledge than I ever have on HSV. I asked the dr. for a culture, confirmed I have HSV2. I feel like the shaming, the unworthiness, the stigma, has all just come to a head with me, 18 years after initial diagnosis. I also read up a lot more on risk of transmission and prevention of symptoms, and am more educated so that I can talk to him about it. I still have many questions though.

    I’ve also realized, in this experience, that I seek a more informed, communicative, and loving partner, than he has ever been able to exhibit. Its a new relationship, and I had had some reservations about him in these areas, but whats super clear now, in how this whole thing has been handled, is that in his current state of being, he is not the right partner for me. Of course I feel terrible for having exposed him (although truthfully, he admitted to having HSV1) but I don’t believe he really knows his status, and will ask him to be tested.

    So, I’m here to learn from your experiences, and figure out where to go from here with my new attitude and information. And wish me luck, on Sunday, when I finally have ‘the talk’ that I should have had many months ago. Although, I bet I wouldn’t have even been in this relationship if I had disclosed before. I think he would have chosen fear and stigma over getting to know me. And that says a lot, I guess.

    Sorry for long intro.
    Peace & light & health

    #16342

    In reply to:


    EJFM

    The reason for my seeking support and knowledge now is that I feel like I was in a bit of denial or nonchalance for so many years – I was diagnosed with HSV2 after having sex with a guy using a condom one time. The next year, I got married and didn’t disclose – I have other chronic diseases (type 1 diabetes and thyroiditis) and had had HPV / abnormal pap in college. Perhaps I thought this wasn’t as serious or required so much attention or didn’t want to admit that I could infect others, not sure now. But anyway, I very rarely had outbreaks and treated them much like the rest of my vaginal health – with T1D, I have frequent Bacterial and Yeast infections, and so was super aware of changes, would treat appropriately, and abstain from sex during treatment and outbreaks alike. And as I stated, never had frequent outbreaks. At one point during my marriage, I talked to my husband about it, he also had symptoms and we agreed that we didn’t have much information about who infected whom, although in retrospect, I probably was afraid to own up to it. He was probably cheating on me anyway, so he avoided the topic and we went about our lives.

    Fast forward I divorced my husband about 5 years ago, while pregnant with our second child. I started a wonderful relationship with a man a year after and still did not think about disclosing until I had symptoms, told him, and treated it. He took it very well, we had protected sex, we were diligent about checking each other for symptoms and outbreaks and we carried on. That relationship ended for other reasons after 3 years. To my knowledge, he did not contract HSV from me at all.

    Starting last summer, I began dating again, and definitely taking advantage of my 40-something sex drive, and was casually seeing a couple of men at the same time, mostly using protection until committing to one person about 4 or 5 months ago. I STILL DID NOT have ‘the talk!’ I guess I believed that because outbreaks were so infrequent, and I was so aware, that my risk of transmitting to him was very low – at least as low as him or I just being out and having sex socially would be. Meaning that the level of risk was equivalent to our previous sex lives experience.

    I had a recent outbreak following sex, just before he left to visit family on a vacation. I contacted him right away and told him that I had a HSV outbreak and he should keep an eye out for any symptoms. I again, took it seriously, but from a quite clinical point of view, and didn’t consider his possible range of reactions. He completely freaked out. Many angst-filled text messages (he refused to take my calls) it was CLEAR that he was operating from a place of fear and ignorance and I was completely oblivious of the impact that my blunt honesty would have on him. I still haven’t seen him in person, we plan to on Sunday, because following his trip, I am now on a work trip abroad. I feel like on Sunday I have to explain myself, my rationale, admit my mistake in not disclosing sooner, AND do some serious evidence based education with him. I feel pretty awful about hurting him and betraying him. I really would never have intended that, and that has been really tough on me, not that I expect any sympathy from him.

    His reaction made me dig deeper and seek more knowledge than I ever have on HSV. I asked the dr. for a culture, confirmed I have HSV2. I feel like the shaming, the unworthiness, the stigma, has all just come to a head with me, 18 years after initial diagnosis. I also read up a lot more on risk of transmission and prevention of symptoms, and am more educated so that I can talk to him about it. I still have many questions though.

    I’ve also realized, in this experience, that I seek a more informed, communicative, and loving partner, than he has ever been able to exhibit. Its a new relationship, and I had had some reservations about him in these areas, but whats super clear now, in how this whole thing has been handled, is that in his current state of being, he is not the right partner for me. Of course I feel terrible for having exposed him (although truthfully, he admitted to having HSV1) but I don’t believe he really knows his status, and will ask him to be tested.

    So, I’m here to learn from your experiences, and figure out where to go from here with my new attitude and information. And wish me luck, on Sunday, when I finally have ‘the talk’ that I should have had many months ago. Although, I bet I wouldn’t have even been in this relationship if I had disclosed before. I think he would have chosen fear and stigma over getting to know me. And that says a lot, I guess.

    Sorry for long intro.
    Peace & light & health

    #18657

    EJFM

    The reason for my seeking support and knowledge now is that I feel like I was in a bit of denial or nonchalance for so many years – I was diagnosed with HSV2 after having sex with a guy using a condom one time. The next year, I got married and didn’t disclose – I have other chronic diseases (type 1 diabetes and thyroiditis) and had had HPV / abnormal pap in college. Perhaps I thought this wasn’t as serious or required so much attention or didn’t want to admit that I could infect others, not sure now. But anyway, I very rarely had outbreaks and treated them much like the rest of my vaginal health – with T1D, I have frequent Bacterial and Yeast infections, and so was super aware of changes, would treat appropriately, and abstain from sex during treatment and outbreaks alike. And as I stated, never had frequent outbreaks. At one point during my marriage, I talked to my husband about it, he also had symptoms and we agreed that we didn’t have much information about who infected whom, although in retrospect, I probably was afraid to own up to it. He was probably cheating on me anyway, so he avoided the topic and we went about our lives.

    Fast forward I divorced my husband about 5 years ago, while pregnant with our second child. I started a wonderful relationship with a man a year after and still did not think about disclosing until I had symptoms, told him, and treated it. He took it very well, we had protected sex, we were diligent about checking each other for symptoms and outbreaks and we carried on. That relationship ended for other reasons after 3 years. To my knowledge, he did not contract HSV from me at all.

    Starting last summer, I began dating again, and definitely taking advantage of my 40-something sex drive, and was casually seeing a couple of men at the same time, mostly using protection until committing to one person about 4 or 5 months ago. I STILL DID NOT have ‘the talk!’ I guess I believed that because outbreaks were so infrequent, and I was so aware, that my risk of transmitting to him was very low – at least as low as him or I just being out and having sex socially would be. Meaning that the level of risk was equivalent to our previous sex lives experience.

    I had a recent outbreak following sex, just before he left to visit family on a vacation. I contacted him right away and told him that I had a HSV outbreak and he should keep an eye out for any symptoms. I again, took it seriously, but from a quite clinical point of view, and didn’t consider his possible range of reactions. He completely freaked out. Many angst-filled text messages (he refused to take my calls) it was CLEAR that he was operating from a place of fear and ignorance and I was completely oblivious of the impact that my blunt honesty would have on him. I still haven’t seen him in person, we plan to on Sunday, because following his trip, I am now on a work trip abroad. I feel like on Sunday I have to explain myself, my rationale, admit my mistake in not disclosing sooner, AND do some serious evidence based education with him. I feel pretty awful about hurting him and betraying him. I really would never have intended that, and that has been really tough on me, not that I expect any sympathy from him.

    His reaction made me dig deeper and seek more knowledge than I ever have on HSV. I asked the dr. for a culture, confirmed I have HSV2. I feel like the shaming, the unworthiness, the stigma, has all just come to a head with me, 18 years after initial diagnosis. I also read up a lot more on risk of transmission and prevention of symptoms, and am more educated so that I can talk to him about it. I still have many questions though.

    I’ve also realized, in this experience, that I seek a more informed, communicative, and loving partner, than he has ever been able to exhibit. Its a new relationship, and I had had some reservations about him in these areas, but whats super clear now, in how this whole thing has been handled, is that in his current state of being, he is not the right partner for me. Of course I feel terrible for having exposed him (although truthfully, he admitted to having HSV1) but I don’t believe he really knows his status, and will ask him to be tested.

    So, I’m here to learn from your experiences, and figure out where to go from here with my new attitude and information. And wish me luck, on Sunday, when I finally have ‘the talk’ that I should have had many months ago. Although, I bet I wouldn’t have even been in this relationship if I had disclosed before. I think he would have chosen fear and stigma over getting to know me. And that says a lot, I guess.

    Sorry for long intro.
    Peace & light & health

    #20696

    EJFM

    The reason for my seeking support and knowledge now is that I feel like I was in a bit of denial or nonchalance for so many years – I was diagnosed with HSV2 after having sex with a guy using a condom one time. The next year, I got married and didn’t disclose – I have other chronic diseases (type 1 diabetes and thyroiditis) and had had HPV / abnormal pap in college. Perhaps I thought this wasn’t as serious or required so much attention or didn’t want to admit that I could infect others, not sure now. But anyway, I very rarely had outbreaks and treated them much like the rest of my vaginal health – with T1D, I have frequent Bacterial and Yeast infections, and so was super aware of changes, would treat appropriately, and abstain from sex during treatment and outbreaks alike. And as I stated, never had frequent outbreaks. At one point during my marriage, I talked to my husband about it, he also had symptoms and we agreed that we didn’t have much information about who infected whom, although in retrospect, I probably was afraid to own up to it. He was probably cheating on me anyway, so he avoided the topic and we went about our lives.

    Fast forward I divorced my husband about 5 years ago, while pregnant with our second child. I started a wonderful relationship with a man a year after and still did not think about disclosing until I had symptoms, told him, and treated it. He took it very well, we had protected sex, we were diligent about checking each other for symptoms and outbreaks and we carried on. That relationship ended for other reasons after 3 years. To my knowledge, he did not contract HSV from me at all.

    Starting last summer, I began dating again, and definitely taking advantage of my 40-something sex drive, and was casually seeing a couple of men at the same time, mostly using protection until committing to one person about 4 or 5 months ago. I STILL DID NOT have ‘the talk!’ I guess I believed that because outbreaks were so infrequent, and I was so aware, that my risk of transmitting to him was very low – at least as low as him or I just being out and having sex socially would be. Meaning that the level of risk was equivalent to our previous sex lives experience.

    I had a recent outbreak following sex, just before he left to visit family on a vacation. I contacted him right away and told him that I had a HSV outbreak and he should keep an eye out for any symptoms. I again, took it seriously, but from a quite clinical point of view, and didn’t consider his possible range of reactions. He completely freaked out. Many angst-filled text messages (he refused to take my calls) it was CLEAR that he was operating from a place of fear and ignorance and I was completely oblivious of the impact that my blunt honesty would have on him. I still haven’t seen him in person, we plan to on Sunday, because following his trip, I am now on a work trip abroad. I feel like on Sunday I have to explain myself, my rationale, admit my mistake in not disclosing sooner, AND do some serious evidence based education with him. I feel pretty awful about hurting him and betraying him. I really would never have intended that, and that has been really tough on me, not that I expect any sympathy from him.

    His reaction made me dig deeper and seek more knowledge than I ever have on HSV. I asked the dr. for a culture, confirmed I have HSV2. I feel like the shaming, the unworthiness, the stigma, has all just come to a head with me, 18 years after initial diagnosis. I also read up a lot more on risk of transmission and prevention of symptoms, and am more educated so that I can talk to him about it. I still have many questions though.

    I’ve also realized, in this experience, that I seek a more informed, communicative, and loving partner, than he has ever been able to exhibit. Its a new relationship, and I had had some reservations about him in these areas, but whats super clear now, in how this whole thing has been handled, is that in his current state of being, he is not the right partner for me. Of course I feel terrible for having exposed him (although truthfully, he admitted to having HSV1) but I don’t believe he really knows his status, and will ask him to be tested.

    So, I’m here to learn from your experiences, and figure out where to go from here with my new attitude and information. And wish me luck, on Sunday, when I finally have ‘the talk’ that I should have had many months ago. Although, I bet I wouldn’t have even been in this relationship if I had disclosed before. I think he would have chosen fear and stigma over getting to know me. And that says a lot, I guess.

    Sorry for long intro.
    Peace & light & health

    #18613

    Kerry

    I’m a divorced sixty-one year old woman who was surprisingly diagnosed about a month ago with HSV2. I don’t know how or when I was initially infected but the diagnosis was the result of recent sexual activity. I started dating a widower about 9 months ago. We eventually became sexually active with a good bit of oral sex. The day after sex I noticed a discomfort in my lady parts to find a swollen sore area that was actually a lesion. I also felt swollen lymph nodes on that side and made an appointment to see my gyn. She did a culture and sent me for blood work that came back positive for HSV2 and negative for HSV1. As it turns out earlier this year my partner developed a lesion on his lip from HSV1, which he admitted to having most of his life and as we know this is very common.

    I have never had such a lesion in my life – so I’m now left wondering if it was a transmission of oral to genital to me which caused the lesion but by coincidence the blood test did prove that I already carried HSV2. I waited until we were able to see each other that week-end and told him what I was going through. It was so uncomfortable because I felt guilty that I may have transmitted the virus to him and also that he trusted me enough to know that I was completely unaware that I carried the virus. I’m usually on top of things and just wonder how I could have had this virus without even knowing it, perhaps I confused any prior outbreak to something else – and clearly I’ve never had a bad outbreak as I’ve read about others and all the discomfort and pain. Mine was quite simple, a bit uncomfortable, but not painful at all. My partner was very very good about it. He was tested and came back positive for HSV1 and negative for HSV2, but I’m still concerned that I may have transmitted HSV2 to him, so I’m going to suggest that he get tested again in another 2-3 months.

    But the other part of my life is wonderful – I have two grown children, four grandchildren, great family, I’m still employed and am looking forward to retiring in 2-3 years. I hope I can be of help to others on this site

    #20652

    Kerry

    I’m a divorced sixty-one year old woman who was surprisingly diagnosed about a month ago with HSV2. I don’t know how or when I was initially infected but the diagnosis was the result of recent sexual activity. I started dating a widower about 9 months ago. We eventually became sexually active with a good bit of oral sex. The day after sex I noticed a discomfort in my lady parts to find a swollen sore area that was actually a lesion. I also felt swollen lymph nodes on that side and made an appointment to see my gyn. She did a culture and sent me for blood work that came back positive for HSV2 and negative for HSV1. As it turns out earlier this year my partner developed a lesion on his lip from HSV1, which he admitted to having most of his life and as we know this is very common.

    I have never had such a lesion in my life – so I’m now left wondering if it was a transmission of oral to genital to me which caused the lesion but by coincidence the blood test did prove that I already carried HSV2. I waited until we were able to see each other that week-end and told him what I was going through. It was so uncomfortable because I felt guilty that I may have transmitted the virus to him and also that he trusted me enough to know that I was completely unaware that I carried the virus. I’m usually on top of things and just wonder how I could have had this virus without even knowing it, perhaps I confused any prior outbreak to something else – and clearly I’ve never had a bad outbreak as I’ve read about others and all the discomfort and pain. Mine was quite simple, a bit uncomfortable, but not painful at all. My partner was very very good about it. He was tested and came back positive for HSV1 and negative for HSV2, but I’m still concerned that I may have transmitted HSV2 to him, so I’m going to suggest that he get tested again in another 2-3 months.

    But the other part of my life is wonderful – I have two grown children, four grandchildren, great family, I’m still employed and am looking forward to retiring in 2-3 years. I hope I can be of help to others on this site

    #15385

    In reply to:


    Jessa
    Participant

    Hi Safua,

    I’m brand new to this forum- brand new to herpes actually! I really can’t offer you any advice on this matter, but I’d like you to know that I can completely relate to your frustrations with medical practitioners and their lack of knowledge regarding HSV. I still think it’s amazing that after years of Pap smears and STI screenings I was declared “clean” over and over. HSV tests are not included in the standard STI panel and that leaves many of us completely dumbfounded as to when we acquired the virus. How many people have I unknowingly infected? Asymptomatic people still shed. That’s obviously how most people are exposed. And I believe the rates are higher for those with HSV 2- that’s why it’s important to take a type specific igg (say no to igm!!!) blood test. From what I’ve read risk of transmission is reduced considerably when the H positive partner consistently takes an antiviral and condoms are used. There’s still no guarantees, but don’t let that deter you. It’s crazy- I’ve put myself in this hypothetical situation BEFORE I knew I was H and imagined how I’d react to someone I have deep feelings for disclosing to me…I could never throw away an opportunity to be in love, to have a deep connection, a best friend, a true partner- even knowing the risks. Part of me wishes I had acquired this through an act of love- I don’t think I’d be as resentful. But I’m not ruling out love all together. My mind and body are still in the initial shock phase. Anyways, I hope you keep us posted!

    Best wishes,
    Jessa

    #16297

    In reply to:


    Jessa
    Participant

    Hi Safua,

    I’m brand new to this forum- brand new to herpes actually! I really can’t offer you any advice on this matter, but I’d like you to know that I can completely relate to your frustrations with medical practitioners and their lack of knowledge regarding HSV. I still think it’s amazing that after years of Pap smears and STI screenings I was declared “clean” over and over. HSV tests are not included in the standard STI panel and that leaves many of us completely dumbfounded as to when we acquired the virus. How many people have I unknowingly infected? Asymptomatic people still shed. That’s obviously how most people are exposed. And I believe the rates are higher for those with HSV 2- that’s why it’s important to take a type specific igg (say no to igm!!!) blood test. From what I’ve read risk of transmission is reduced considerably when the H positive partner consistently takes an antiviral and condoms are used. There’s still no guarantees, but don’t let that deter you. It’s crazy- I’ve put myself in this hypothetical situation BEFORE I knew I was H and imagined how I’d react to someone I have deep feelings for disclosing to me…I could never throw away an opportunity to be in love, to have a deep connection, a best friend, a true partner- even knowing the risks. Part of me wishes I had acquired this through an act of love- I don’t think I’d be as resentful. But I’m not ruling out love all together. My mind and body are still in the initial shock phase. Anyways, I hope you keep us posted!

    Best wishes,
    Jessa

    #18554

    Jessa
    Participant

    Hi Safua,

    I’m brand new to this forum- brand new to herpes actually! I really can’t offer you any advice on this matter, but I’d like you to know that I can completely relate to your frustrations with medical practitioners and their lack of knowledge regarding HSV. I still think it’s amazing that after years of Pap smears and STI screenings I was declared “clean” over and over. HSV tests are not included in the standard STI panel and that leaves many of us completely dumbfounded as to when we acquired the virus. How many people have I unknowingly infected? Asymptomatic people still shed. That’s obviously how most people are exposed. And I believe the rates are higher for those with HSV 2- that’s why it’s important to take a type specific igg (say no to igm!!!) blood test. From what I’ve read risk of transmission is reduced considerably when the H positive partner consistently takes an antiviral and condoms are used. There’s still no guarantees, but don’t let that deter you. It’s crazy- I’ve put myself in this hypothetical situation BEFORE I knew I was H and imagined how I’d react to someone I have deep feelings for disclosing to me…I could never throw away an opportunity to be in love, to have a deep connection, a best friend, a true partner- even knowing the risks. Part of me wishes I had acquired this through an act of love- I don’t think I’d be as resentful. But I’m not ruling out love all together. My mind and body are still in the initial shock phase. Anyways, I hope you keep us posted!

    Best wishes,
    Jessa

    #20593

    Jessa
    Participant

    Hi Safua,

    I’m brand new to this forum- brand new to herpes actually! I really can’t offer you any advice on this matter, but I’d like you to know that I can completely relate to your frustrations with medical practitioners and their lack of knowledge regarding HSV. I still think it’s amazing that after years of Pap smears and STI screenings I was declared “clean” over and over. HSV tests are not included in the standard STI panel and that leaves many of us completely dumbfounded as to when we acquired the virus. How many people have I unknowingly infected? Asymptomatic people still shed. That’s obviously how most people are exposed. And I believe the rates are higher for those with HSV 2- that’s why it’s important to take a type specific igg (say no to igm!!!) blood test. From what I’ve read risk of transmission is reduced considerably when the H positive partner consistently takes an antiviral and condoms are used. There’s still no guarantees, but don’t let that deter you. It’s crazy- I’ve put myself in this hypothetical situation BEFORE I knew I was H and imagined how I’d react to someone I have deep feelings for disclosing to me…I could never throw away an opportunity to be in love, to have a deep connection, a best friend, a true partner- even knowing the risks. Part of me wishes I had acquired this through an act of love- I don’t think I’d be as resentful. But I’m not ruling out love all together. My mind and body are still in the initial shock phase. Anyways, I hope you keep us posted!

    Best wishes,
    Jessa

    #15266

    In reply to:


    Bubbles1
    Participant

    Hannah, your story is so honest and heartfelt. You have gone through quite a bit, and I must say that I feel honored that you would share your story here. I can’t imagine everything you are going through, not just with the herpes diagnosis, but with how the transmission happened. The fact that he forced himself on you is not OK.
    That’s great that *Jeff is there by your side through all of this- his reaction makes him sound like a keeper.
    I think the most important thing to remember is, you can’t change the past, as much as we wish we could. Don’t let dwelling in the past keep you from what could be an amazing relationship. Open up and realize that herpes does not define you, and while you may struggle from time to time, especially during an outbreak, you are worth far more than you are giving yourself credit for.
    I really do hope that you find solace here on this site, reading other women’s stories and seeing that you are not alone, and you certainly are NOT disgusting.
    You are beautiful, you are strong, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.
    There are so many great resources on this site, and Dr. Kelly’s book is a perfect way to get some basic facts and treatments, while also getting some positive life coaching and healing. I would definitely recommend it!

    Much love,
    Chelsie

    #16178

    In reply to:


    Bubbles1
    Participant

    Hannah, your story is so honest and heartfelt. You have gone through quite a bit, and I must say that I feel honored that you would share your story here. I can’t imagine everything you are going through, not just with the herpes diagnosis, but with how the transmission happened. The fact that he forced himself on you is not OK.
    That’s great that *Jeff is there by your side through all of this- his reaction makes him sound like a keeper.
    I think the most important thing to remember is, you can’t change the past, as much as we wish we could. Don’t let dwelling in the past keep you from what could be an amazing relationship. Open up and realize that herpes does not define you, and while you may struggle from time to time, especially during an outbreak, you are worth far more than you are giving yourself credit for.
    I really do hope that you find solace here on this site, reading other women’s stories and seeing that you are not alone, and you certainly are NOT disgusting.
    You are beautiful, you are strong, and there is light at the end of the tunnel.
    There are so many great resources on this site, and Dr. Kelly’s book is a perfect way to get some basic facts and treatments, while also getting some positive life coaching and healing. I would definitely recommend it!

    Much love,
    Chelsie

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