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  • #44695
    Maria89
    Participant

    I just copied and pasted something I wrote to another user with the same case.

    Here are some facts you need to know:
    – HSV-1 –> 50%-80% of people have it.
    – Normally, you catch the virus during childhood with the kiss of a relative.
    – When you catch as a kid, you build immunity and won’t get it genitally.
    – What happened to you is that you didn’t get herpes type 1 in your childhood and initiated your sexual life without antibodies. You got it from oral sex. That was your first exposure to the virus.
    – Genital HSV-1 viral shedding (when you shed the virus without symptoms) is 2-5%.
    – It’s super rare to transmit HSV-1 through genital to genital contact, you get it from oral sex.
    – So, if you are not having an outbreak with genital HSV-1, you don’t need to disclose it (scientifically, not morally). Just give your body a year to build antibodies.
    – Since the sacral ganglion is not its’ favourite place, people with HSV-1 have fewer recurrences. The average is 0,7 per year (3-8 when people has HSV-2). Most people with HSV-1 have 1-3 outbreaks in the first 2-3 years, and then no more. (There are people with G-HSV1 that would say that they have more recurrences, but still, it’s rare). I have only had 2 in seven years. The first one was pretty bad, the second one was a rash and a cut 7 months after. After that, not at all. Nothing.
    – Scientifically, disclosure of genital HSV_1 shouldn’t exist since the transmission from genital to genital is extremely low.
    – Since almost everybody has it, you can just tell your new partner to get tested, chances he already has it are high. Since my diagnosis, I always asked my partners to get tested (I wouldn’t like to get HSV-2), from 10 guys I dated, just one didn’t have HSV-1. Three knew they had it because they remember having cold sores when they were kids (confirmed with the test), and 6 had it and didn’t even know it. They just knew it with the test. Fact: I’m in my 30s. So at 30, the stats of HSV-1 are 70% at least.
    – I disclose this by saying, I have the virus that causes cold sores, and it is herpes type 1. And then I explain the differences between type one and two. I say that I was unlucky to get the virus during childhood, and that was unlucky but lucky enough to catch Herpes type one, the nicer one, and that disclosure of genital HSV-1 is more trust than transmission.
    So, if your new partner has it, it’s okay, you don’t ping-pong the virus.
    I have never been rejected (and no, I’m not a hot girl. I consider myself average). I explain all this by looking at their faces, being calm, and I make sure to explain the differences, I also give them the fact sheet from herpesopportunity.com, and I normally ask them to listen to a podcast called “The Big herpes episode with Terri Warren” on youtube. In my experience, it’s really refreshing when my partners listen to this podcast. It answers all their questions.
    – Last thing. Don’t read or try to watch videos about herpes. A lot of people and even doctors don’t know this information and say “herpes is herpes”. I would suggest reading about it with Peter Leone, Terri Warren and Hofdsman. They are researchers dedicated to this virus.

    #44692
    Lorena
    Participant

    Hello. Today I got my results from the IGG test, showing a 1.30 for HSV-1. The IGM dropped a negative result for both. The doctor was very sarcastic and cynical. He didn’t give me information on how to prevent transmission or treatment. I felt judged. I feel devastated, lonely, disgusting and that my life is over. Please, share as much information as you have. I’m feeling like I shouldn’t love anymore.

    #44691
    Maria89
    Participant
    This reply has been marked as private.
    #44675
    pinktentuser
    Participant

    Hi VCRJ

    Thank you for sharing this. I’ve recently been diagnosed with GHSV1 so it’s a fine line on disclosure. Terri Warren (a herpes specialist) says its important to disclose for trust than it is for transmission as GHSV1 is quite a benign infection.

    I find it comforting knowing you said there are plenty of people that will accept you simply for the fact they like you. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

    #44662
    Maria89
    Participant

    Olivia,

    Here are some facts you need to know:
    – HSV-1 –> 50%-80% of people have it.
    – Normally, you catch the virus during childhood with the kiss of a relative.
    – When you catch as a kid, you build immunity and won’t get it genitally.
    – What happened to you is that you didn’t get herpes type 1 in your childhood and initiated your sexual life without antibodies. You got it from oral sex. That was your first exposure to the virus.
    – Genital HSV-1 viral shedding (when you shed the virus without symptoms) is 2-5%.
    – It’s super rare to transmit HSV-1 through genital to genital contact, you get it from oral sex.
    – So, if you are not having an outbreak with genital HSV-1, you don’t need to disclose it (scientifically, not morally). Just give your body a year to build antibodies.
    – Since the sacral ganglion is not its’ favourite place, people with HSV-1 have fewer recurrences. The average is 0,7 per year (3-8 when people has HSV-2). Most people with HSV-1 have 1-3 outbreaks in the first 2-3 years, and then no more. (There are people with G-HSV1 that would say that they have more recurrences, but still, it’s rare). I have only had 2 in seven years. The first one was pretty bad, the second one was a rash and a cut 7 months after. After that, not at all. Nothing.
    – Scientifically, disclosure of genital HSV_1 shouldn’t exist since the transmission from genital to genital is extremely low.
    – Since almost everybody has it, you can just tell your new partner to get tested, chances he already has it are high. Since my diagnosis, I always asked my partners to get tested (I wouldn’t like to get HSV-2), from 10 guys I dated, just one didn’t have HSV-1. Three knew they had it because they remember having cold sores when they were kids (confirmed with the test), and 6 had it and didn’t even know it. They just knew it with the test. Fact: I’m in my 30s. So at 30, the stats of HSV-1 are 70% at least.
    – I disclose this by saying, I have the virus that causes cold sores, and it is herpes type 1. And then I explain the differences between type one and two. I say that I was unlucky to get the virus during childhood, and that was unlucky but lucky enough to catch Herpes type one, the nicer one, and that disclosure of genital HSV-1 is more trust than transmission.
    So, if your new partner has it, it’s okay, you don’t ping-pong the virus.
    I have never been rejected (and no, I’m not a hot girl. I consider myself average). I explain all this by looking at their faces, being calm, and I make sure to explain the differences, I also give them the fact sheet from herpesopportunity.com, and I normally ask them to listen to a podcast called “The Big herpes episode with Terri Warren” on youtube. In my experience, it’s really refreshing when my partners listen to this podcast. It answers all their questions.
    – Last thing. Don’t read or try to watch videos about herpes. A lot of people and even doctors don’t know this information and say “herpes is herpes”. I would suggest reading about it with Peter Leone, Terri Warren and Hofdsman. They are researchers dedicated to this virus.

    #44496
    Maria89
    Participant

    80% of people has HSV-1 (oral).
    16% has HSV-2 (genital).
    Cases of genital HSV-1 are increasing, but it is necessary to know the differences.
    Just 1-2% of people have oral HSV-2 because HSV-2 really really prefers the sacral ganglia. It is not its favorite place. You won’t get oral HSV-2 with a kiss.

    Yes. Doctors say that everybody has herpes, but it is HSV-1.
    You can get HSV-1 genitally, but it is nicer than having HSV-2 genital.
    Since people acquire HSV-1 orally during childhood, you built immunity to get it in your genitals. You get HSV-1 genital when you enter the sex life without having the virus and antibodies.

    HSV-1 Genital:
    – HSV-1 genital transmission is extremely rare. You don’t pass it with genital to genital contact.
    – You mostly get it with oral sex. Since the sacral ganglia is not its favorite place, viral shedding (when you shed the virus without symptoms) is extremely low.
    – Outbreak frequency is 1.2 per year. Most people have 2-3 outbreaks in the first three years and no more after that.

    HSV-2, Genital:
    – It is mostly and exclusively genital.
    – It doesn’t like the trigeminal ganglia at all. It is extremely rare to get oral HSV-2. Even if you get it, you will get one outbreak and no more.
    – Viral shedding of HSV-2 is higher, meaning 15-30% of days you shed the virus without symptoms.
    – Frequency varies from 3 to 6 per year.

    I don’t agree when doctors say that everybody has herpes. Yes. Oral HSV-1.
    They are similar, but it is important to know the differences as well.
    You can transmit the virus even without symptoms, and disclosure to a possible partner should know it.

    #44418
    funinthesun1984ad
    Participant
    This reply has been marked as private.
    #44410

    In reply to: Passing hsv2 to baby

    Pichukita
    Participant

    For the whitlow, if you see a sore definitely keep it covered completely with a bandaid. If you are worried about transmitting it to baby make sure while you have an active sore to use gloves when you change/bathroom the baby. Probably overkill since just covering it up with the bandaid and preventing the skin to skin contact will likely prevent transmission.

    When you dont have an outbreak try to remind yourself that the danger of transmission is minimal. If you feel you are getting several outbreaks then you may want to talk to your doc about staying on the chronic therapy and maybe even increasing the dose depending on how many outbreaks you are getting.

    I have hsv2 and when I was first diagnosed last memorial day I did get 1 finger with whitlow. It has not recurred on my finger since. I do get recurrent outbreaks down south and take suppressive therapy for that reason. From everything I have read whitlow is far less common than the other outbreaks.. so just do everything that you can to not further spread it.. use a body gloves to clean down there when you have an ourbreak so you dont have to physically touch your sore..Once you have the virus its really about damage control and making it a normal part of your life. “I have to do xyz now and thats ok.” If you have a questionable sore just treat it as if it was one to be extra safe.

    I have had the same fear about accidentally transmitting it to my family or friends. Just remember the more you stress the more outbreaks you are likely to get. So you can think of it as part of your treatment or therapy to calm yourself down when you start to panic and freakout. If you feel like you see a sore on the baby then just go get her tested. You don’t need to tell anyone or get anyone permission. Just for your own peace of mind that its nothing. And if it is something is is 100% better to know so that you can contain the issue early.

    Hope this helps a little! I am actually trying to get pregnant with my first child. There are a ton of fears and questions but it will be ok. We have to remember that. Life doesn’t always happen the way we want it but we deserve all the good things in this life including having our family.

    #44381
    Maria89
    Participant

    Hi Carly,

    Don’t freak out. I’d like to expand @Sister7277 explanation.
    1. 50%-80% of Americans already have HSV-1, and normally oral. So the chances he already has it are high. If he has it orally, he won’t get it.
    2. Genital HSV-1 transmission with genital to genital contact is extremely rare. Why? Because HSV-1 doesn’t like the sacral ganglia and it’s not its’ favorite place. Viral shedding is 2%. HSV-2 genital has 12%-20% of viral shedding (@sister7277).
    3. You get genital HSV-1 from oral sex. If you begin your sexual life without having it. Normally, people get oral HSV-1 during childhood, so they are immune to get it in another part of their body.
    4. HSV-1 genital has less frequency of outbreaks. It’s 1.2 per year.

    Conclusion: You shouldn’t even be afraid of transmitting genital HSV-1 with genital contact. If you had oral HSV-1, and you were going to perform oral sex on a guy, yes, you should be afraid and disclose it. Disclosure of genital HSV-1 is more trust than transmission, dear.

    So, you are fine. He didn’t catch it. Knowledge is power. Having HSV-1 genital is completely different than HSV-2 genital.
    Calm down and get more information about HSV-1 genital. Chances you date a guy with HSV-1 and doesn’t even know are extremely high.
    Watch on youtube an interview called: Herpes episode with Terry Warren. She is one of the best researchers about herpes. There you will get a lot of information. Even doctors don’t know the difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2 genital. You got genital herpes, yes, but you got the nicer one.

    #44380

    In reply to: Sex

    KP
    Participant

    Hey! Like Sister7277 said, condoms and no sex during outbreaks is the way to go.
    The best practice is to use condoms 100% of the time, and put one on before any skin-to-skin contact occurs. Avoid sex during an outbreak, or any time you think you feel one coming on.

    I’d read that taking a daily antiviral, like acyclovir, can reduce the risk of transmission to something like 4% when you also use condoms, etc. I took acyclovir for about a year, but am no longer sexually active and so I came off it. But it made me feel a lot safer and more confident when I was in a relationship, since I didn’t have outbreaks while taking it, so I didn’t have to worry about one popping up. We still used condoms, but the peace of mind helped.

    #44362

    In reply to: Scared

    Manda
    Participant

    From the research I’ve done you can’t pass herpes unless it is skin to skin. I was worried about transmission from toilet seats but the information out there says it can only be spread by sexual contact through both sex and oral sex.

    #44339

    In reply to: Need advice

    Sister7277
    Participant

    Hi Lauren, first off you are not alone! I completely relate and have had to work through the same feelings and fears. With GHSV-1 having such a low shedding rate, disclosure is more about trust than it is transmission. No one would want to find out afterwards. If you could see yourself ever having a relationship with the person, I would disclose. There are differing thoughts on having to disclose for casual sex. I have heard some experts say, for HSV1 you really don’t have to if it’s just a one-time hookup and no outbreaks (obviously using condoms, for multiple reasons).

    Something I have found to be true, is that the world is a mirror to your beliefs. If you believe thqt you are unlovable because of this, you will probably attract situations that will reflect your belief. You need to first accept and love yourself, if you want others to accept and love you. Know you’re absolutely worthy of love… this is just a virus, anyone could get it and 2/3 people have HSV of some kind. In a way, this can be a gift, because it will reveal their character quickly, and you will know if THEY are worthy of you, depending on if they can be open and understanding. I have been lucky to disclose to someone who was incredibly understanding and it showed me everything about their character. The right people will stay, and you will have fulfilling relationships and sexual experiences, as so many of us with HSV do!

    Here are some tips for disclosing:

    Say it with your head held high.

    Instead of saying something like, “there’s something I have to tell you, and it’s really awful- It’s embarrassing. I have genital herpes, ugh it’s so bad, I hate it. I understand if you don’t want to see me again.”

    You could say something like, “I’m starting to feel a good connection with you. Because I trust you, I want to share something with you. I have a skin condition caused by the herpes virus. It is something I have under control and the type I have is very unlikely to transmit, but I still take some precautions just in case. I’d like to answer any questions you have about it, if you’re open enough to learn.

    Prepare yourself mentally for any kind of response. Some might stay and ask questions, some might walk. Your concern isn’t whether they are negative or positive, you just want to be honest.

    #44324
    Lauren
    Participant

    Hey guys,
    A few months ago I found out I had genital HSV1. It absolutely destroyed me and I can’t help but think about it everyday. Some days are better than others but i just can’t get out of my head. Im looking for some advice. One, I’d really like to know how everyone has handled dating. I feel so unlovable and that no one will ever want to be with me again. Two, how often do you guys tell your sexual partners about your diagnosis? I am on daily medication and i know genital hsv 1 had an extremely extremely low transmission rate with condoms, medication, and the vitamins I take to boost my immune system. I am only a college freshman. Will I have to tell every hook up and every future boyfriend I have? Please give me any advice im struggling. Thank you

    #44303
    Maria89
    Participant

    I am going to copy and paste what I wrote to a person in this forum months ago, so you can know it better:

    Well. The first thing is to be informed. Having HSV-1 genital is different than HSV-2 genital. are the Here are facts you need to know:
    50% to 80% of the population already has HSV-1 orally.
    It is rare to pass the virus to your genitals once you have it orally.
    HSV-2 genital outbreaks go from 3 to 6 per year or more in symptomatic people.
    HSV-1 genital outbreaks are 1 or less per year in symptomatic people. Most often, they have 1-3 in three years and then nothing.
    Viral shedding (When you shed the virus without symptoms) of HSV-1 genital is like 1-3% depending on the study.
    Viral shedding of HSV-2 genital is 15-30% of the time.
    Without a condom and having sex while there are no symptoms in HSV-2 is 4% from women to man.
    Imagine with HSV-1. It’s almost nothing. The transmission of HSV-1 genital to genital is rare (really rare). You mostly get HSV-1 with oral sex. That’s what happened to you. You didn’t catch it as a kid with the kiss of your parents or a grandpa or grandma; and your first exposure to HSV-1 was oral sex.
    So, you got genital herpes, but you were lucky enough to get the nicer one: HSV-1.
    All you need to do is to request your partner to get tested, the chances he has HSV-1 and doesn’t even know are high. If he has it, no problem.
    If he doesn’t, still, the chances of getting it during sex are really really low.
    Watch a video in YouTube called “understanding herpes” from the American health association. And watch a podcast in YouTube “The big herpes episode with Terri Warren”. She is one of the top recognized academics and researchers about herpes. All I said and more will be there. If you need a serious paper to understand it, I can send it as well.
    Most people say herpes is herpes, it doesn’t matter (even doctors). But, for me, it does matter. Having herpes is not a big deal, and having HSV-1 is even less than a deal.
    I hope this information helps you, and I encourage you to request your partner a test. Maybe he has HSV-2 and doesn’t even know. You should also take care of your health.

    #44302

    In reply to: Huge Mistake!

    Maria89
    Participant

    Well.
    Good news:
    1. if you only have hsv-1 downstairs, you won’t give it to him with oral sex.
    2. HSV-1 gential is completely different than HSV-2 genital:
    – 50-80% of the population already has HSV-1.
    – When you get HSV-1 orally, in the childhood, you don’t get it downstairs.
    – Your first contact to HSV-1 was sexually with oral sex, that’s how you got it.
    – Transmission of HSV-1 genital with sex genital to genital is unlikely. Since the sacral ganglia is not its’ prefered place, the viral shedding (when you shed the virus without symptoms) is less than to 2%, compared to HSV-2 genital, which is 13-15%. You get HSV-1 from oral sex and when you don’t have HSV-1 oral previously.
    – Disclosing genital HSV-1 is more trust than transmission, dear.
    – GHSV-1 outbreaks are less frequent (1.2 per year), compared to GHSV-2 (3-6 per year). All this in symptomatic people.
    – I would suggest you that you hold your sexual life for at least 6 months, so your body builds up antibodies. The first six months after contracting the virus is the time your body gets used to it and viral shedding decreases.
    – Ask him to get tested. Chances he already has HSV-1 are high.
    All I tell you is confident. Check on Youtube a video cold “herpes with Terry Warren”. That podcast will tell you more.

    Knowledge is power. Nope, he won’t get HSV-1 genital from oral sex since you have it downstairs.

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