I was diagnosed with HSV-1 yesterday. I was home sick with the flu when I got the call. I am completely heartbroken and overwhelmed. I contracted herpes from my husband. We engaged in oral sexual intercourse about 2 weeks ago and a few days later he had an HSV-1 outbreak on his lip. I started getting intensely itchy in my vaginal area and had some other symptoms that were typical of yeast infection (I had no blisters at this time) so I treated for that. The topical cream caused intense burning externally so I discontinued use of the cream. I continued using the ovules.
A few days later I was experiencing pain while urinating so I “took a look” and noticed what appeared to be a contact dermatitis where I had applied the cream. There was also a small clump of three vesicles on one side of my labia majora. At this time I made a doctor’s appointment.I went to the doctor and was told what I had suspected, the two long lesions on either labia majora were a contact dermatitis from the cream but she was concerned about the cluster of lesions on the one side. I was swabbed and the swab was sent for testing. I was told that I would be notified by the nurse ONLY if the results came back as positive. When I saw the number come up on the screen my heart sank to the floor.
I knew what I was about to be told.I do not know where to go from here. I feel dirty. I feel tainted. I feel alone. My husband is having a hard time dealing with the fact that he gave me something that will never go away. He has withdrawn from me which makes me feel even dirtier and more alone. This diagnosis has SERIOUSLY affected my relationship with my husband and my own psyche. I feel that when people look at me, they “know.” It is a terribly lonely feeling. I am in great need of support.I feel angry at my husband. I feel that he should have known that he had an outbreak coming and that he should have stayed away.
I feel like I have been betrayed by the person I am supposed to trust most in the world.I do not know how to manage symptoms. Before I went to the doctor, I was applying Docosanol topical cream and I suppose that seemed to help. I need to know what I can do to manage symptoms.I am so worried that this diagnosis will take away my dream of having a large family. I have a gorgeous six month old daughter. I looked at her yesterday after I hung up the phone and burst into tears because I am very afraid that I will be one of the few people that has SEVERE complications with herpes. I have always only wanted to be a stay at home wife and mother. The dream was already partially shattered- I had to return to work because of my husband’s debt problems. I was counting on having more children and now I am so terrified that I will NEVER be able to realize my dream.I need help.Please.I do not know where to go from here.