Dating With Herpes- When Do You Tell Your Partner?
I recently found this great article from Self.com where women shared their experiences and advice when it comes to dating with herpes. I have personally connected with one of the ladies in this article, Janelle Davis, and feel that she is doing an excellent job of educating the public about herpes through her media outreach and STD Project.
When it comes to disclosure, I agree with her that it is better to wait to have the talk. There seems to be a golden window of opportunity. Disclosing on a first date is just too much information for most people. It also does not give them a chance to really get to know you or to figure out if they are even interested in being intimate with you. On the other hand, if you wait too long, partners often feel as if they have been betrayed or strung along.
It really depends on the relationship that is developing. Some relationships move extremely fast these days and partners find themselves having sex on the first date. Other partnerships start out as just being friends and slowly move towards romance. In today’s fast moving sexual culture we find ourselves in, I encourage women to take their time and get to know their partners before having sex. I would definitely wait at least 3 dates and maybe wait as long as a month or so before disclosing. As a RULE, never expose your partner before telling them. Care for your partners as you would want them to care for you!
If you are dating with an STD, the good news is that there are several people out there who are able and willing to be with you, no matter what! You are deserving of love and worth having the right partner by your side. If your comfort level is to date within the STD community, by all means do so. If, on the other hand, you don’t want to be restricted in your dating life, be bold and go out there and date whomever you please. You are worth it!
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f you are struggling with “the talk”, I would love to coach you. Apply for a FREE Reclaim Your Health and Happiness call with me.
I was dating a woman who I had no idea had Genital Herpes. I dated her for over a year and had sex with her and she eventually got pregnant. I found out about the diagnosis not from her but when we went in for an ultrasound visit and the doctor explained that she had to have a C-Section because of her 20+ year battle with the disease. I find this to be the worst type of betrayal ever. I rushed to get tested and thank God I don’t have it. People with a disease like this that don’t disclose this PRIOR to being intimate with someone are the lowest of the low. Now I am tied to this woman because of our child but I want nothing else to do with her. Lies and deceit.