Living With Herpes

Category: Living With Herpes

Dr. Kelly and Jenelle Pierce Talk Stigmas

Dr. Kelly is part of the Steering Committee for Janelle’s new project, Herpes Activists Networking to Dismantle Stigma (HANDS), which is comprised of more than 12 publicly “out” herpes activists along with a growing list of member organizations. This is the first time herpes advocates have come together to form a cohesive group geared toward promoting awareness and reducing herpes stigma.

HANDS advocates represent a diverse group of individuals – folks across the lifespan, people of color, the Hispanic community, and varying orientations and gender identities – all coming together for a shared interest: to amplify the voices of those who are stigmatized, ridiculed, and shamed. Our members include authors, doctors, YouTube content creators, artists, podcasters, athletes, bloggers, and sexual health educators, all with one thing in common: we have herpes.

About Jenelle:

Jenelle Marie Pierce (fka Davis) is the Founder & Executive Director of The STD Project, the STD Expert for Answers.com, a Hepatitis Expert for HepatitisC.net, a Spokesperson for PositiveSingles.com, an adjunct professor, an eater of jello, and a lover of snow. She was diagnosed with genital herpes at the age of 16, and is also proof an STI is not a deal-breaker or the end of your world; rather, it is merely an unexpected curve-ball in this interesting game we call life.

Taking A Stand for Women’s Health

Contributing Author- Stephanie Wilson

In 2015, Joe Fassler wrote an article for The Atlantic recounting his wife Rachel’s experience of having her pain dismissed as an emergency-room patient in a US hospital. Fassler’s article details their visit to the emergency room after Rachel woke up with agonizing pelvic pain. Fourteen and a half hours after arriving at the emergency room—and once Rachel’s pain was finally assessed with adequate attention—Rachel and her doctors prepped for surgical removal of her ovary. Rachel was unknowingly suffering excruciating pain that accompanies an ovarian torsion. While providers told Rachel she was “just feeling a little pain” and misdiagnosed her pain as kidney stones without any proper tests, her ovary was left to die.

Unfortunately, Rachel’s experience is not an isolated incident. In fact, research has shown that women’s pain and other symptoms are often dismissed by medical providers. In addition to women as a group having their symptoms dismissed, research and popular press articles suggest that women of color have their symptoms dismissed at even higher rates.

As women, we have all likely had to learn to advocate for ourselves in healthcare settings. Some of us may have even had to demand a herpes test when providers told us it was not necessary. Similarly, perhaps some of us have had to plead with providers, and others, to understand our negative experiences with hormonal birth control—I know I have. It is evident to me that there is a systemic problem in medicine: the silencing of women’s experiences. Women MUST stand up for their health!

By calling this a systemic problem, I am identifying the medical system and culture as the culprit, rather than individual providers. That is, the white masculine culture of medicine impacts how providers interact with their patients. I do think that we need to hold individuals accountable, but I also think this problem is much larger than any individual or group of individuals. Unfortunately, I also think that means we—as women—need to advocate for ourselves in medical settings; and some of us more than others. If something does not feel right, make sure you find someone who will listen to you. If your doctor tells you your pain is normal, but you know it is not, get a second—and if necessary, a third and fourth—opinion.

I know advocating for your health is easier said than done, and our ability to do so depends on many other factors in addition to gender and race. Finding a doctor who will listen to your experience can be exhausting and expensive. However, as much as you possibly can, stand up for your health!

There is undoubtedly more work to be done to change the culture of medicine so that all women are heard. I hope to be a part of that culture change by drawing attention to these issues as a social researcher. But until that culture changes, we can hold the system accountable as patients. Make sure your symptoms are heard, and your experiences are addressed. Be an advocate for your health and for women’s health!

Need to be heard? Book A Free 60-minute “Reclaim Your Health and Happiness” call with Dr. Kelly!

 

About Stephanie

Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie.  I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old.  Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University.  I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis.  With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs.  I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.

Healing and Treatment

While there is no cure, women from around the world are managing their herpes symptoms using a combination of natural remedies and/or pharmaceuticals. Some women use suppressive or daily therapy while others use episodic. No matter which herpes treatment you choose, life with herpes can be managed. Click to learn more about herpes treatment.

Read more

Diet and Triggers

What Foods Trigger Herpes Outbreaks?

One of the most universal recommendations specific to the management of herpes is to be mindful of the two amino acids arginine and lysine in your diet. Herpes outbreaks and many other chronic viruses are triggered by high amounts of arginine.

Arginine feeds herpes and encourages its growth and reproduction.

Lysine, on the other hand, boosts immunity and offers up protection from future outbreaks.

To sum it up….

Lysine is your FRIEND
Arginine is your ENEMY

Ideally, you want to decrease the foods that are high in arginine and increase the foods that are high in lysine.

A great tool for determining the lysine and arginine content of food is to use the lysine/arginine ratio. Foods that are high on the lysine/arginine ratio are more beneficial for a person who suffers from herpes.

What foods are high in Lysine?

  • Most Vegetables and fruits
  • Dairy based products including cheese, milk and yogurt
  • Fish, Chicken, Lamb and Beef
  • Brewer’s Yeast
  • Eggs
  • Avocado
  • Sprouts
  • Quinoa
  • Amaranth

What foods are high in Arginine?

  • All nuts and nut products
  • Nut butters (peanut butter, almond butter etc.)
  • Caffeine
  • Chocolate
  • Seeds (except hemp and flax)
  • Oatmeal
  • Brown Rice
  • Raisins
  • Whole Wheat and White flour
  • Carob
  • Lentils
  • Wheat germ
  • Dried beans including soybeans and tofu
  • Protein shakes, multivitamins and body building supplements that contain arginine

The above food recommendations are meant to point you in the right direction towards managing your outbreaks and living a vibrant, healthy life. As discussed, there are many known triggers when it comes to herpes and certain foods.

Each person with herpes is unique in their body and what things trigger a herpes outbreak. For those who are sensitive to foods, I highly recommend a Paleo style diet.

Environmental Herpes Triggers
Herpes prefers to live in warm, moist environments with lots of friction. As such, here are a few quick tips to decrease your potential triggers

  • Avoid hot environments like hot tubs and saunas
  • Use padding in bike shorts to decrease friction when biking
  • Avoid thongs, as they can be an irritating. Opt for organic cotton panties
  • Do not stay in wet clothing too long after working out.

If you want to learn more about what might be triggering your outbreaks, check out my Amazon Bestselling  book Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide For Women.

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Herpes and Pregnancy

Are you a pregnant mamma living with herpes?

Are you terrified that you might transmit the virus to your baby?

Have you even told your healthcare provider you have herpes?

As a doctor, woman and carrier of the herpes virus for many years, I can totally relate to all of your fears related to pregnancy and herpes.

I am the mother of a healthy, happy girl and I was able to effectively manage my herpes and deliver her all naturally. It CAN be done!

Before we go into details…

Take a DEEP BREATH, because what I’m about to share with you might come as a surprise.

The good news is that the statistics are on your side.

One third to one fourth of all pregnant women have herpes and yet 90% don’t know it.

But before we go any further, if you are pregnant and you know you have herpes, then you need to tell your healthcare provider. There is NOTHING to be shameful of. Disclosing your status to your healthcare provider will further diminish any risks of transmission.

Did you know?

Neonatal herpes (herpes of a newborn) is not even considered a reportable disease according to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) www.cdc.gov

The CDC is a branch of our public health system whose sole purpose is to monitor diseases worldwide.  If the CDC does not list neonatal herpes as a reportable disease, then I think it is fair to say that you do not need to be overly concerned about the potential of a newborn dying from genital herpes.  However, neonatal herpes is something you need to be educated about so that you can decrease the likelihood of transmission.

Here are some more facts that I hope you will find comforting.

 –  A recent three year study in Canada (2000–2003) revealed a neonatal HSV incidence of 5.9 per 100,000 live births (.00006%) As you can see, neonatal herpes is extremely rare!

–  80%-90% of neonatal herpes cases are from women who didn’t know they had it.  Therefore, women who know they have herpes can greatly reduce the risk of transmission.

–  Most neonatal herpes is managed effectively with treatment. Some women opt to use suppressive antiviral therapy during week 36 of gestation.

I am happy to say giving birth was the most empowering, miraculous moment of my life. The ability to give birth naturally is truly a gift from God.

Please do not allow the fear of neonatal herpes to consume you. Educate yourself and enjoy your pregnancy. These are magical times…embrace them!

Reference:

Kropp RY, Wong T, Cormier L, Ringrose A, Buron S, Embree JE, Steben M, et al., “Neonatal Herpes Simplex Virus Infections in Canada: Results of a 3-year National Prospective Study.” Pediatrics, June 2006, p. 1955-62 117 (6).

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Herpes and Dating and Prevention

STD Dating With A Herpes Diagnosis

When I was first diagnosed, I felt like damaged goods…a leper of the 21st century. No longer did I feel my inner beauty or outer beauty for that matter, because whenever I looked in the mirror, all I could see was HERPES. It felt like a thief in the night had stolen my dreams of falling in love and starting a family. The grief of this loss overwhelmed me at times and for a while I resigned myself to celibacy. Not only was I fearful of transmitting the virus, but I figured that dating with genital herpes was out of the question. Why would anyone ever consider dating someone with herpes, let alone having sex with herpes? At the time, the virus disgusted me, leaving me feeling dirty, resentful, and shameful.

The First Step: Rebuilding My Self Esteem. It took me a while to stop the negative self-talk as the lioness within me began to wake and roar. She was deep within me, hidden in the shadows of shame and guilt, but she was there.

The journey to discovering love again began with a deep investigation of what herpes really is and who I really was.

What is herpes?
skin infection

Who am I?
A vibrant, passionate, caring, adventurous, intelligent, nurturing woman who deserved to love and be loved.

NOTHING about me had changed except that now I was living with herpes.

I started asking myself better questions. Am I a victim of herpes? Would I allow herpes to define me? OR Would I rediscover the woman I really am, despite my having herpes.

Here is what I decided…

  • I would no longer allow herpes to define me
  • I would break through my fears of rejection and not drop my standards for dating with herpes
  • I was worthy of love

HSV1 and HSV2 Dating

Open communication is the KEY to dating with herpes. Below are some basic guidelines.

Always Disclose Your Status Before You Expose Your Partner
You can start the subject by asking your partner if they ever get cold sores or know someone who does. (cold sores are caused by the HSV1 herpes virus) This helps to soften the stigma of the conversation. If your partner gets cold sores, then we already know that they have herpes.

Explore Your Partner’s Past Sexual Health History.
This conversation is not just about you disclosing your status, but also learning what your risks are. Start by asking a question “Have You Been Tested for STD’s or STI’s?” Do not assume that your partner has been tested specifically for herpes.

Do Not Wait Until The Heat Of Passion To Disclose Your Status
With the hormones raging through your partner’s body, this is the WORST time to make such an important decision.

Get Your Partner Tested
Getting your partner tested is important to establish a baseline before you become sexually active. Your partner might already have herpes and not know it. This decreases the chance of you feeling guilty for transmitting a virus that they had all along.

Do Not Engage In Intimacy During ANY Symptoms
Dating with herpes gives us the opportunity to really tune into our bodies. Herpes is most contagious when there are symptoms present. Symptoms of herpes in woman can include anything from redness, itching and tingling to pain and blisters.

Use Condoms
While condoms are not 100% effective, they do decrease the rate of transmission by up to 50% if used properly. They are able to protect the area that they cover.

Want more info?

Blog Post- Herpes And Sexy Time Guidelines
https://pinktent.com/herpes-and-sexy-time-guidlines/

Dating With Genital Herpes- Dating Yourself First
https://pinktent.com/dating-genital-herpes-dating-first/

Check out our step by step system outlined in the Foundations Course on Secrets To The Talk and Preventing Transmission

If you are a woman who wants to reclaim a Happier, Healthier SEX life after a herpes diagnosis, download this Foolproof FREE checklist: Shortcuts To A Successful Talk: The Do’s and Dont’s

steps

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Dr. Kelly Discusses The Underground World of STD’s on Jamie Foxx’s Foxxhole Radio

Last night I was a guest on Jamie Fox’s Sirius radio show with Zo Williams, http://zowilliams.blogspot.com/, known as the “Hip Hop Dr. Phil”.  He is an author, relationship specialist and tv personality. I truly appreciate his authenticity and his ability to connect with his audience. Zo and I took live calls… Read more

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Herpes and Sexy Time Guidelines

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The Facts

Herpes in Women

Q: What is herpes?
A: Herpes is a group of viruses that affects the skin or nervous system.

Q: What are the symptoms of herpes?
A: There are a number of symptoms that can occur with a herpes outbreak. The classic presentation follows a course of progression that often begins with a tingling feeling, also known as a prodrome,

1- followed by an irritation or redness on the skin

plate 1- Phases Of Healing

2- Within a short period of time, tiny fluid-filled blisters appear at the site

plate 2- Phases Of Healing

3- They are often painful and itchy. These blisters then begin to ooze, and the site becomes crusted over

plate 3- Phases Of Healing

4 – When the blisters burst, an ulcer or depression occurs

plate 4- Phases Of Healing

5 – A scab begins to form

plate 5-phases of healing

6- Generally, it takes two days to two weeks for the wound to heal.

plate 5-phases of healing

Q: How is herpes transmitted?

A: Herpes has three modes of transmission

  1. Intimate Contact (horizontal transmission): usually kissing or sexual contact (oral or genital)
  2. Autoinoculation: transmission from one area of the body to another
  3. Congenital (vertical transmission): present at birth, passed from mother to newborn

Herpes is an infection that most commonly is spread by skin-to-skin contact, at a site where there is friction, a mucous membrane, or a break in the integrity of the skin. Herpes likes moist, warm, dark places and is killed pretty rapidly outside of the body. It is a parasite and as such needs a host to survive. During an outbreak, it is important to refrain from intimate contact. Proper hand washing with soap and water will kill the virus, so there is no need to obsess with hand washing every five minutes. As a precaution, it is also advised to properly clean any sex toys after use.

Q: What is the prevalence of women with genital herpes in the US?
A: The statistics differ depending on what study you read, but in general it is safe to say that at least 1 in 4 or 25% of American women have HSV2 genital herpes. (That doesn’t even account for HSV1 genital herpes! I have yet to find THAT statistic.)

Q: Is there a cure for herpes?
A: At the present time, there is no cure for herpes. The virus can be managed effectively with all natural and/or pharmaceutical treatments.

Q: How do I protect my partner if I have herpes?
A: According to a University of Washington study, “simply avoiding sexual contact during the active phases of the infection provides enough protection for more than 95 percent of susceptible men and more than 81 percent of susceptible women per year.”[2] The best way to protect your partner is to abstain from sexual contact during any active symptoms and to use a protective barrier like a condom or oral dam.

Q: I am overwhelmed by the testing options. What is your advice?
A: The most important thing regarding testing is to make sure you are getting a type-specific test. A type-specific test is one that identifies whether or not you have type 1 (HSV-1) or type 2 (HSV-2) herpes.

Q: If I don’t have symptoms, can I still transmit the virus to my partner?
A: Yes. There is always a risk of asymptomatic shedding. This is when you don’t have symptoms, but you still could transmit the virus.

References

[1] Fujie Xu, MD, PhD; Maya R. Sternberg, PhD; Benny J. Kottiri, PhD; Geraldine M. McQuillan, PhD; Francis K. Lee, PhD; Andre J. Nahmias, MD; Stuart M. Berman, MD, ScM; Lauri E. Markowitz, MD, “Trends in Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 and Type 2 Seroprevalence in the United States,” JAMA 296(8): 964–973, doi: 10.1001/jama.296.8.9642006.

[2] Sacks, Stephen L., MD. The Truth About Herpes. Gordon Soules Book Publishers Ltd., 1997

Misdiagnosis of Herpes Symptoms In Women

August 13, 2018

Did you know that herpes symptoms in women can be confused with many common conditions? 85% of people with herpes don’t know they have it! Common symptoms include blisters, sores, itchy areas, tingling, burning, painful urination, skin fissures and cracks, skin ulcers, swollen lymph nodes, fatigue, depression, pain down the… Read more

Dr. Kelly Is Featured in PopSugar!

March 8, 2018

Living A Normal Life With Herpes – PopSugar Featuring Dr. Kelly It’s so exciting when I find new articles about herpes popping up all over the internet, especially when they are found in popular sources such as Glamour, Women’s Health and the Huffington Post.  It indicates that people are finally… Read more

On The Other Side Of Herpes- A Partner’s Perspective

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A Partner’s Perspective On Herpes- Richard’s Story Contributing Author- Richard Schuh I am the luckiest man alive. I have the good fortune to wake up every morning to see, and be, with my wife Kelly. You may know her as Dr. Kelly Martin Schuh. Yes, the herpes doctor. I’m so… Read more

Secrets To Success Course Registraton

March 3, 2017

Hello Ladies! I am so excited to share with you that my exclusive Secrets to Success: Foundations Course is now open for registration for the next few days only!  While some women are just sick and tired of being sick and tired (these are the women registered and going though the course right… Read more

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December 5, 2016

Diet & Triggers What Foods Trigger Herpes Outbreaks? One of the most universal recommendations specific to the management of herpes is to be mindful of the two amino acids arginine and lysine in your diet. Herpes outbreaks and many other chronic viruses are triggered by high amounts of arginine. Arginine feeds herpes and… Read more

Herpes Treatment

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What The #imwithherpes Campaign Told Me About Our Community

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Herpes 101

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The Truth About Herpes With all of the social stigmas surrounding herpes, it’s hard to distinguish what the facts truly are about the herpes virus. This video is a great herpes 101 resource to clear up some common misconceptions. I encourage you to watch it and comment your thoughts below! Need more… Read more

Free Herpes Testing?

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What do you do when your herpes test results are inconclusive or confusing?  After working within the herpes community for many years, this question is more common than one would think. Let’s review some of the most common scenarios and the appropriate interpretations of these results. Scenario A:  Patient presents… Read more

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Have more questions? Join us on our next live call with Dr. Kelly! [contact-form-7 id=”621″ title=”Contact form 1″] [ezcol_1half id=”” class=”” style=”width:76%”] Herpes in Women Q: What is herpes? A: Herpes is a group of viruses that affects the skin or nervous system. Q: What are the symptoms of herpes?… Read more

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Tips to Avoid a Heat Triggered Herpes Outbreak

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Genital Herpes Diagnosis? 5 Top Things You Must Know

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February 5, 2015

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National Herpes Awareness Day- 2014 Oral Herpes Kissing Campaign

October 12, 2014

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Herpes Simplex 2 vs. Herpes Simplex 1

June 23, 2014

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April 25, 2014

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Think you have herpes? What you MUST ask your doctor…

December 3, 2013

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May 9, 2013

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September 26, 2012

Q: Do doctors misdiagnose herpes? A: Yes. It wasn’t until the 1940s that herpes was found to be an actual virus. Then, 1960’s research started to isolate the virus into two types that we know today: HSV-1 and HSV-2. Although it is said that the virus was misdiagnosed all the… Read more

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January 26, 2012

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Take A Quiz On Genital Herpes. How much do you know?

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Dr. Kelly’s Blog

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