Recently Diagnosed

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 11 months ago.

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  • #7793

    Anonymous
    Participant

    Hi my name is Tangie and a couple of days ago I was diagnosed with herpes. I have been crying, feeling sad, dirty and depressed. How could this happen I don’t sleep around always pride myself on taking care of myself. My fiance thinks he got it from his ex and didn’t know I’m so angry with him but I love him so much but I hate being around him now. What am I to do with all this anger and frustration. He keeps apologizing but something tells me he knew and just didn’t tell me please help feeling all alone.

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  • #7914

    Chelsie
    Participant

    Tangie, unfortunately the media has created such a stigma of herpes that it’s hard to not feel the way you do. The idea that you get herpes from being promiscuous is just not necessarily true. I have had herpes for as long as I can remember. As a kid, I used to get them frequently, and I didn’t quite understand what it was at the time. I am pretty sure I got it from my mom who also has it- probably from a quick kiss on the mouth when she may have had an outbreak. Something so small changed the rest of my life, and i had NO CONTROL over that. I was a kid.
    There have been partners in my past that I did not tell that I had herpes. It’s more common than you think, and it actually can be very difficult to disclose that to a partner if you are not prepared with facts and information about the virus. So, on one hand, if your fiance did know, do realize how hard that conversation can be for anyone. He definitely should have told you, but maybe now is the time you can both sit down and really talk about it.
    It’s also possible that your fiance really didn’t know. Many people, especially men, have it laying dormant for years and have never had an outbreak. Because herpes is not part of the regular STD blood work done during a routine exam, many people do not know they even have it.
    I would suggest sitting down with him and talking about it. Also, if he hasn’t gotten tested already, he should.

  • #8172

    Anonymous
    Participant

    I feel the exact same as you. My boyfriend didn’t even seem surprised when I told him. I was thinking his reaction was not even a legit way to react to such news. I don’t understand how this happened. Why after ten months of dating did this occur only now. I have sooooo many questions and reading about it on the Internet is just more frustrating. My boyfriend told me that one of his ex’s had it and that she was medicated the whole time they were together (is that even possible?). I think he knew he had it and was playing stupid. Christmas time has arrived and after one month of being diagnosed (the lesions were so bad I need to take seven days off of work to basically learn how to walk again). I am filled with so much anger I don’t know how to cope.

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